The prob was when i accidently happened to see my husband watching porn videos on tv and the moment he saw me he switched channels
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa
Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Asak
Brother Burhan,
First
and the foremost May the blessings of Allahtaala be upon u and ur family and
all those involved in bringing up this wonderful site.may Allah bless u with
Jannah InshAllah! Brother plz keep my name and email Id a secret as i dont want
any one to know my name and the prob as well.i am an extremely troubled and
pained woman i am married for almost two years . the prob was when i accidently
happened to see my husband watching porn videos on tv and the moment he saw me
he switched channels but i saw him enjoy watching all that i was very upset and
angry then when i went to sleep i turned away and slept and somehow gave him an
idea that i was upset with his behaviour but unfortunately when i was on the
opposite side of the bed he again switched the porn channel and watched it i
felt so bad that he dint realise his mistake! in the night i dint want to sleep
next to him as the girls in the video were not even wearing a thread and it was
zoomed in to the extent that it was like she was in front of my husband i was
so upset brother that i turned away and slept far far away from him he must
have realised that i was angry with him then after a long time he came close to
me put his hand on my waist and tried to pull me close to him but i resisted i
felt like one of those porn stars when he touched me , i felt like as if he had
slept with all those women and then came to me and i hated the very touch of
him he felt bad when i dint even go near him as i do everyday he then turned
away too then later i realised that i have hurt him so i myself made up but i
cant bear his touch i hate it now i feel he is not the same husband he was and
moreover brother Ramadan is a week away and if Allah forgive him he watches all
this in Ramadan and gets excited his Roza will be Makru isnt it it may not be
accepted at all and his namaz also.and he is also not so regular in namaz but
diligently listens to all Dawah lectures on tv but in the night watches all
porn stuff plz tell me what to do i love him a lot but i dont have any feelings
now i cant bear his touch i feel he is imagining the porn stars when he comes
near me plz help i am very very depressed!
Your sister in distress
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Answer:
Husband porn
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Beloved sister, the one and only way you can discourage if
not altogether stop your husband from indulging in what has clearly been
declared as unlawful and forbidden by Allah is to invite him politely to fear
Allah and His Day of Accounting….and the absolute best way to invite or warn
someone of the Last Day is to somehow get them to read the Glorious Quran with
understanding.
If only you could get your husband to understand and
comprehend the extent of the Wrath and Anger of the Lord Most High on those who
violate His clear boundaries and indulge in the haraam….he would stay far far
away from it.
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:
Do not even go near
‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very
evil way!
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4886 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik
That he heard the Messenger of Allah (saws)
say: ‘The eye commits ‘zina’, and the palm of the hand, the foot, the body, the
tongue and private part of the body confirm it or deny it.’
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.260 Narrated by Ibn Abbas
I have not seen a thing resembling 'lamam'
(minor sins) than what Abu Huraira narrated from the Prophet (saws) who said
"Allah has written for the children of Adan their share of adultery which
he commits inevitably. The adultery of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a
forbidden thing), the adultery of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self
wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it."
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 36 Surah
Ya-Seen verse 65:
65 That Day shall We set a seal on their mouths. But their hands will speak to Us and their
feet bear witness to all that they did.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 41 Surah
Ha-Meem verses 19-23:
19 On the Day that the enemies of Allah will be gathered together to
the Fire they will be marched in ranks.
20 At length when they reach the (Fire) their hearing, their sight, and
their skins will bear witness against them as to (all) their deeds.
21 They will say to their skins: "Why bear ye witness against
us?" They (their skins) will say:
"Allah hath given us speech, (He) Who giveth speech to everything: He
created you for the first time and unto Him were ye to return.
22 "Ye did not seek to hide yourselves lest your hearing, your
sight, and your skins should bear witness against you! But ye did think that
Allah knew not many of the things that ye used to do!
23 "But this thought of yours which ye did entertain concerning
your Lord hath brought you to destruction, and (now) have ye become of those
utterly lost!"
Not only is the evil act of ‘zina’ prescribed as
absolutely forbidden in Islam, every path or every way that leads one to this
evil path is also declared as forbidden!
Such is the gravity of this abomination of ‘zina’, that Allah Subhanah
commands the believers in the Quran: ‘Do not even go near ‘zina’!!!
Thus if one intentionally sees and watches ‘fahisha’
(indecency), it would constitute ‘zina’ of the eyes; if one derives pleasure
from talks of ‘fahisha’, it would constitute ‘zina’ of the ears and mouth, if
one touches or goes towards something or someone with the intention of
‘fahisha’, it would constitute ‘zina’ of the hands and the legs! Although there is no prescribed punishment
for the ‘zina’ of the eyes, mouth, ears, hands and feet in the life of this
world, if one dies without seeking ‘taubah’ and repentance from their Lord, he
will be held severely accountable for these acts of ‘minor’ zina in the
Presence of their Majestic Lord in the Hereafter.
Along with your sincere efforts to save your husband from
the Unbearable Wrath, Anger and Punishments of the Lord Most High, it would be
prudent that you remained constant in your supplications to your Lord to have
Mercy on your husband, to soften his heart to the Truth, and to develop
‘taqwa’, piety, and the fear of Allah and the Last Day into his heart.
Beloved Sister, other than guiding and warning a person
who is involved in a clear sin to fear their Lord Creator and His Day of
Accounting, there is very little one can do to convince one to abstain from
their habit of sin. If after your very
best efforts, you still do not see any improvement and seek to separate
yourself through divorce from a person who is so inclined to disobey the clear Commands
of Allah Subhanah…there would be no blame or sin upon you in the Sight of Allah
Subhanah.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan