Rituals of marriage night
Mu' meneen
Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi
wa Barakatuh. (May
Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our
brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Assalam Alaikum! May Allah subhanahu bestow
his blessings upon you for this wonderful forum you initiated. Can you let me
know as to what is the authenticity of the prayers that the couple prays on the
marriage night (first night). Also, if any quote from hadith/the
Holy Quran do guide me on it as to the rituals of the
marriage night. What need to be followed before copulation... Also, it is
advised that it is not permissible to have the marriage night at a Hotel. It is
advisable to have it at some mumins house.. Why is it
so... ?? Your reply would be appreciated..
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above
statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and
statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Answer:
Rituals on first night of
marriage
In the name of Allah, We praise
Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none
can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright.
We bear witness that there is no one (no idol,
no person, no grave, no
prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone,
and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of
His Messengers.
Your Question: Can
you let me know as to what is the authenticity of the prayers that the couple
prays on the marriage night (first night).
If the couple wish to pray
voluntary (nafl) prayers of gratefulness to Allah Subhanah on the first night of marriage (or any night, or every night, etc.), there is absolutely no harm.
But there is absolutely no
evidence in the Quran or Sunnah, whereby they are required to pray any
specific prayer on the first night of marriage. Some misguided sects in Islam have made a
ritual out of this, and demand that the
bride and/or groom pray two rakahs of
gratefulness, and they use the ‘sherwani’ or outer garment of the groom as the prayer-mat
or ‘musalla’!
This ritual has absolutely no basis or evidence in Islam, and the believers should abstain from this
self-invented ritual.
Your Question: Also,
if any quote from hadith/the Holy Quran
do guide me on it as to the rituals of the marriage night.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.367 Narrated
by Abdul Aziz
Thabit asked Anas,
"O Abu Hamza! What did the Prophet pay her (as Mahr to his wife to be,
Safiya bint Huyai)?" He
said, "Her self was her Mahr for he (saws)
manumitted her and then married her."
Anas added, "While on the way, Um Sulaim dressed her (Hadrat Safiya) for marriage (ceremony) and at night she sent her
as a bride to the Prophet (saws) . So the Prophet (saws) was a bridegroom and he said, 'Whoever has
anything (food) should bring it.' He
(saws) spread out a leather sheet (for the food) and some brought dates and
others cooking butter. So they prepared
a dish of Hais (a kind of meal). And that was the Walima (the marriage banquet) of Allah's Apostle (saws)
."
Al-Muwatta Hadith 28.47
Anas ibn Malik related that Abd ar-Rahman ibn Awf
came to the Messenger of Allah (saws), and he had a trace of yellow on
him. The Messenger of Allah (saws) asked
about it. He told him that he had just
been married. The Messenger of Allah
(saws) said, "How much did you hand over to her (as Mehr)?"
He said, "The weight of a date pit in gold." The Messenger of Allah (saws) said to him,
"Hold a feast, even if it is only with a sheep.
There are no particular
rituals for the marriage night in Islam,
other than holding a marriage feast or ‘Walima’, which is a preferred Sunnah
of the Messenger of Allah (saws). And
when Islam has made the issue of marriage simple, we should not start inventing or following
rituals and make it a part of Islamic marriage! Some misguided sects in Islam have made the
act of marriage an elaborate affair with tens of self-invented rituals and rasms, which are
copied from pagan customs and have absolutely no basis or evidence from the Quran or Sunnah, and the believers must abstain from following
such pagan rituals.
Your Question: What need to be followed before copulation...
Once a man and a woman are
legally wedded through the ‘nikaah’, they become legal to each other and they may
conjugate whenever they want. It is not
obligatory that the husband and wife must conjugate on the first night of
marriage; they may do so if they
wish, and they may abstain if they so
wish.
When one meets with his
wife, he should supplicate Allah Subhanah as practiced and taught to the believers by the
Messenger of Allah (saws). He (saws)
used to pray thus:
Allah humma jannib nass
Shaitaan, wa jannib nass
Shaitaana ma razak tana.
(O Allah. Save us from the Shaitaan; and save what You provide us (the
child), from the Shaitaan).
Your Question: Also, it is advised that it is not
permissible to have the marriage night at a Hotel. It is advisable to have it
at some mumins house.. Why is it so... ??
One may spend the marriage night
wherever one may wish! Islam has laid
no such restriction on the believers that they cannot spend the marriage night
in a hotel or in someone else’s house!
And when Islam has not laid any restrictions, we have no right to place restrictions from
ourselves.
The truth is that some sects of
Islam have invented a lot of rituals and rasms in the
name of marriage, which have absolutely
no basis in the Quran and Sunnah. In fact,
a lot of the rites and rituals of marriage in the Indian-subcontinent
are copied from pagan cultures like Hinduism, etc. The believers, who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day, must recognize these innovations and must
strive to abstain from it! There are so
many different pagan rituals which have been adopted by the misguided
people, that it would be hard for us to
identify each of them. If you need an
opinion on whether a particular marriage ritual is allowed or not, please describe the ritual to us, and we will be honored to send you a reply in
light of the Quran and Sunnah.
Whatever written of Truth and
benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error
is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He
is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in
Islam,
Burhan