Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

what are the possible ways in which you can decide on overcoming this issue?
im in the situation where im meant to be getting married from pakisatn but have got a rista here.dont knw how to decide which one is rignt for me. 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Choose whom to marry

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.'

Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, if you have two proposals from people who wish to honor you as their bride, then in light of the above guidance of the Messenger of Allah (saws), give priority to the one who is better of the two in the practice of his religion and better in character.

Alternatively, what you should do is follow the Sunnah of the Prophet (saws) on how he would make a choice when he (saws) had an option between two or more permissible options. He (saws) would always consult his Lord Most Gracious by performing a two-rakah prayer and the following supplication of ‘Istakhara’; and then chose the option upon which his heart was content.

‘Allahomma Inni Astakheeroka Bi'ilmik. Wa'astaqdiroka Biqodratik. Wa'as'aloka

min Fadlikal-azeem. Fa'innaka Taqdiru Wala Aqdir. Wata'lamo Wala-a'lam.

Wa'anta-'allamul ghuyoob.

Allahomma In Kunta Ta'lamu Anna (Hathal-Amra) Khayul-lee Fi Deenee Wama'ashi

Wa'ajila Amri Wa'ajilah, Faqdorho lee, Wayassirho lee, Thomma-barik lee fih.

Wa'in Konta Ta'lamo Anna (Hathal-Amra) sharrul-lee Fi Deenee. Wama'ashi.

Wa'ajila Amri. Wa'ajilaho. Fasrifho 'annee. Wasrifnee 'anh. Waqdur

leyal-khayr Haytho kan. Thomma ardini Bih.’

Translation of the du'a of Istakhara:

O Allah! I seek Your guidance (in making a choice) by virtue of Your

knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your

great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are

the Knower of hidden things.

O Allah! If in Your knowledge, (this matter) is good for my religion, my

livelihood and my affairs; immediate and in the distant, then ordain for me,

make it easy for me and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge, (this

matter) is bad for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs; immediate and

in the distant, then turn it away from me, and turn me away from it. And

ordain for me the good wherever it be and make me pleased with it.

Notes:
1. The above du'a is to be recited when there is uncertainty about the advisability of taking a decision, provided it is Islamically permissable.

2. After performing wudu' (ablution), one should offer two rakahs (sunnah required for this purpose).

3. Before reciting the dua' it should be made sure that the person is not already inclined to a given decision; otherwise it will mean the person is not serious about seeking guidance from Allah (SWT).

4. After reciting the dua' (immediately or later on), one may feel more favorably disposed toward one choice or the other.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan