Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Asalamwaliekum,

I am in confused state now,I am the same person who asked u question regarding i can see a girl before marriage and can i marry a girl if she is elder to me.Yesterday I saw her in presence of a guardian but to my surprise i didnt liked her by physical appearance but as i know her nature and belief towards islam I am fond of her but I cant marry her because my family wont accept her as do I because of her appearance. but in these there is no fault of her.

But i am in a confusion how to tel her that i cant marry her because i cant make a girl to cry because of my foolish thinking but it is not upto me to marry her, as i told her previously that if my mother liked you then only i will marry , but any how i am feeling nervous.

Throw me some light in this matter with respect quran and hadis, this is the first time i am seeing her and i saw only the face before that i use to chat with her and as soon as i came to know chatting with girls is not permited as per quran and hadis,

alhamdulilah i left but now i have to tel her that i cant marry her but how?..................

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Answer:

How to say No to Proposal

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.27 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."

Beloved brother in Islam, if for any reason you do not wish to marry the girl, instead of leaving the issue hanging it would be best to inform her guardians of your decision not to marry her so that they may seek to marry their daughter elsewhere.

Islam has given both the man and the woman the right to accept or refuse a proposal for marriage as they best see fit; and in most cases of refusals, neither does the one who rejects the proposal is obliged to offer a reason for their refusal, nor the one who is rejected obliged to ask for one.

Whether or not you wish to offer a reason for your refusal to the girl’s guardians is entirely upto you, but you must make sure that the issue is not left hanging but a clear decision is conveyed to them so that they may initiate the marriage of their daughter to someone else.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan