Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamvalekum Mr Burhan,

Indeed this site has been very helphful for me to understand my religion better.

I am a working lady I have a seven month old daughter, a caretaker who is also a muslim lady takes care of her in my absence. Whenever I am at home I make it a point to breastfeed her.My question is that what are her rights over me? Will she be more attached to the caretaker than me? I have also heard that while delivering a baby the mother`s sins are forgiven is it right?

I hope u will answer my question at ur earliest

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Rights of Nany caretaker of Baby

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

May Allah Subhanah reward you with the best of this world and the Hereafter for your kind comments of encouragement for our humble efforts in the propagation of the Truth. If our humble and modest efforts have helped even one brother or sister get closer to Allah and His Deen of Truth, then we would consider ourselves indeed fortunate to have been given this opportunity by the Lord Most Merciful to serve in His Cause. We hope, beg, and pray the Merciful Lord accepts our humble and weak efforts, forgives us our shortcomings, and saves you, us, and all the believers from the torment of the Hell Fire. Ameen.

Your Question: My question is that what are her (the caretaker’s) rights over me?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 43 Surah Zukhruf verse 32:

32 ….It is We Who portion out between them (mankind) their livelihood in the life of this world: and We raise some of them above others in ranks so that some may command work from others. But the Mercy of thy Lord is better than the (wealth) which they amass.

If the mother of an infant child feels it is necessary for her to work outside her house, and leave the caretaking of her infant child in the hands of a trusted caretaker or nanny, there is no harm. It is amongst the Signs of Allah Subhanah, that He has proportioned the sustenance of each individual and raised some above others in ranks in the life of this world, so that one may take work from the other.

If Allah has blessed one to afford the services of a caretaker or an employee under his/her domain, one should be grateful to their Lord for His favors. The Messenger of Allah (saws) guided the believers that ones employees or servants are their brothers and sisters in humanity, and they should be treated with respect and fairness. He (saws) guided the believers to feed them what they eat themselves, clothe them well, don’t burden them with work more than they can bear, don’t take undue advantage of their conditions, and above all promptly pay them their fair wages as mutually agreed. The above are some of the rights of the servants from their employers in Islam.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 5142 Narrated by Abu Dharr

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Feed those of your servants who please you from what you eat, and clothe them with what you clothe yourselves, but release those who do not please you, and do not punish Allah's creatures (without just cause).’

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.721 Narrated by Al Marur bin Suwaid

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Your slaves (or servants) are your brethren upon whom Allah has given you authority. So, if one has one's brethren under one's control, one should feed them with the like of what one eats, and clothe them with the like of what one wears. You should not overburden them with what they cannot bear, and if you do so, help them (in their hard job).' "

Your Question: My question is that what are her (infant’s) rights over me?

Amongst the rights of the child over their parents is that they assign a good name for them, perform the aqiqah, wean them for (at least) thirty months, take care of all their needs until they reach the age of understanding and puberty, give them a proper Islamic unbringing, and provide for them a peaceful and loving surrounding to grow up in.

Your Question: Will she be more attached to the caretaker than me?

It is only natural that a child will be more attached to the one who spends more time and takes most care of its needs. If a parent so neglects the child that the child’s only interaction is with the caretaker, it is only natural that the child will be more attached to the one who shows it more mercy. But if the parent takes care and gives their child their due time, love, affection and mercy; the child would be proportionately attached to the parent.

Your Question: I have also heard that while delivering a baby the mother`s sins are forgiven is it right?

To the best of our knowledge there is no specific mention in the authentic hadiths whereby it is specifically declared that all the sins of the mother are forgiven during child-birth. But there is absolutely no doubt that Allah Subhanah has indeed honored the woman to become a mother, and time and time again Allah and His Messenger (saws) have reminded the believers to remember this severe hardship of their parents and of their mother in particular, and thus at all times be kind, humble, polite, and merciful toward them for the mercy that they bestowed upon their children in their infancy.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chaper 31 Surah Luqman verse 14:

14 And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 45 Surah Ahqaf verse 15:

15 We have enjoined on man Kindness to his parents: in pain did his mother bear him and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:

Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat your parents with great kindness; if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

Al-Muwatta Hadith 16.36

Jabir ibn Atik narrated that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said: "There are seven kinds of martyrs other than those killed in battle in the way of Allah. Someone who is killed by the plague is a martyr, someone who drowns is a martyr, someone who dies of pleurisy is a martyr, someone who dies of a disease of the belly is a martyr, someone who dies by fire is a martyr, someone who dies under a falling building is a martyr and a woman who dies in childbirth is a martyr."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4939 Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Jahimah

Jahimah came to the Prophet (saws) and said, "Messenger of Allah (saws), I desire to go on a military expedition and I have come to consult you. He (saws) asked him if he had a mother, and when he replied that he had, he (saws) said, "Stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet."

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 5120 Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Hayadah

I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws)! To whom should I show (utmost) kindness?’ He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother’. I asked again: ‘Who next?’ He (saws) replied again: ‘Your mother!’. I asked for the third time, ‘Who next?’ He (saws) replied again: ‘Your mother!’ I asked again: ‘Who next?’ and he (saws) said: ‘Your father!’.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and sincere well wisher in Islam,

Burhan