Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

assalam-o-alai-kum

my questions are:

1: how much rights we are having to interfere in the clashes between our parents? here i would like to explain vry clearly that my father often use to beat my mother and when i interfare in the same i was being prohibited by all the others stating that u cannot even use a hand on ur father if even he become violent to ur mother? even my father use to make me upset by saying that if i would interfare in the same and if for that sake his heart is broken than i would not be eligible for makhfirat? pls assist me in this matter as there is no 1 else ALLAH to guide me in this matter?

KHUDA HAFIZ

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Interference in parent fight

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

There is absolutely no doubt that a fight between one’s parents is absolutely heart-wrenching for a child, but the child does not have a right to enter or take sides, or ever to physically or verbally engage himself in a fight between his parents. If the child has reached the age of understanding and puberty, the most he/she could do is practice absolute wisdom and try to humbly talk to the one who is abusive and oppressive and instill the fear of Allah into them, and also guide the one who is being oppressed and abused towards patience.

But under no circumstances should the child ever do anything or use terms that would be disrespectful or discourteous towards either of his parents. In such trying and unfortunate circumstances, what the child can and must do is remain constant in his supplication to the Lord Most Merciful and beg Him to have mercy on his parents.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24: Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat your parents with great kindness; if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan