Love marriage
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's
Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Asslamalaikum:
Question 1: I am in love with a girl of 22 years (muslim) and I am
26 years, we both are deeply involved with each other and have decided to get
married (insha-allah) with consent of our parents. But we have not disclosed
this matter to our parents until now, we meet in privacy and quite often kiss
one another and touch the private parts. I know that this act is a grave sin in
the eyes of Allah, I seek forgiveness whenever I commit such deed but am not
able refrain from this act as we are not able to control our feelings for one
another and cannot stay without meeting each other. I want to marry her as soon
as possible but I am not able to tell my parents about her because I have a
sister for whom we are looking a good match. Could you please advice what we
can do to stop indulging in such activities, I love her a lot and cannot stay
away from her.
Question 2: I get sexually aroused when I meet her and get into
foreplay when I meet her, but I dont ejaculate. But whenever I am alone and remember
her I get aroused and I mastrubate, I am well aware that mastrubation is also a
sin in islam. I dont know what to do I dont want to commit such sins knowingly
and I always repent for it, but I am not able to control my sexual desires and
in order to avoid commiting a big sin I mastrubate. I cannot get married soon
and cannot stay away from her, I dont know what to do I am very disturbed since
I am always thinking about her whenever I am free. I want to stop commiting
such grave sins but I am not able since I am always misguided by Shaitaan,
please advice what i need to do, if you suggest any dua`s to avoid such
thinking I would be glad.
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Answer:
Love
marriage
In the
name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness.
Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray,
none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no
person, no grave, no prophet, no imam,
no dai, nobody!) worthy of
worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant
and the seal of His Messengers.
Dear and
Beloved Brother in Islam, it is a sign of your faith and belief in Allah
Subhanah that you realize that meeting, or talking, or touching a non-mehram
girl is a grave sin in the sight of the Lord.
And since you are already aware that these are grave sins in the sight
of Allah Subhanah, then you must fear the Wrath and accounting of the Majestic
Lord, control your ‘nafs’, and strive to abstain from everything that
transgresses the boundaries of Allah and His Messenger (saws).
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3118 Narrated
by Umar ibn al-Khattab
The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a
woman the Shaytaan makes a third."
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.4 Narrated
by Abdullah
We were with the Prophet (saws) while we were young and had no
wealth whatever. So Allah's Messenger
(saws) said, "O young people!
Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower
his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal
sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as
fasting diminishes his sexual power."
First and
foremost you must immediately seek sincere repentance from the Merciful Lord
for the transgression of His Boundaries, and make a solemn covenant with Him
that you will not repeat them again; it is expected that you will find your
Lord Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54: (O
Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair
of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before
the scourge overtakes you; for then you
may get no help from anywhere.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse
135-136: Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong
their own soul by the commission of a sin,
remember Allah instantly, and ask
for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who,
but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly
persist in the wrongs they did. These
will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah,
and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do
good deeds!
And if
you so love the woman, then give her her due respect, do the honorable thing
and seek her hand in marriage. And if
for any reason you are not able to marry her for the time being, take the
guidance and advice of the Messenger of Allah (saws) and observe fasts, as
fasting reduce the sexual urge of mankind.
Beloved
and dear Brother in Islam, whatever you do, fear Allah Subhanah, and His Anger
and Wrath on those who transgress His Boundaries; and do not approach a
non-mehram woman until you marry her.
Shaytaan is an open enemy to man and he constantly inspires man to
transgress the boundaries of the Merciful Lord; so treat Shaytaan as an enemy
and seek refuge from Allah Subhanah from Shaytaan’s evil desires and
inspirations.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 35 Surah Fatir verses 5-6:
5 O mankind! Certainly the
promise of Allah is true. Let not then
this present life deceive you, nor let the Chief Deceiver (Shaytaan) deceive
you about Allah.
6 Verily, the Shaytaan is an enemy to you: so treat him as an
enemy! He only invites his adherents
that they may become Companions of the Blazing Fire.
Dear and
Beloved Brother in Islam, the only thing that can save man from the transgressing
Allah’s Boundaries is the fear and solemn belief that One Day every person will
be brought forth in the Presence of the Majestic Lord to give a full accounting
of his deeds; and no deed and act will be hidden on that Day from the All
Knowing, All Seeing Lord of the Worlds.
Only if one constantly remembers Allah Subhanah, and fears His Wrath and
Anger everytime one comes close to transgressing His Boundaries, only then will
he be able to control his ‘nafs’ that inspires him towards transgression.
Whatever
written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance,
and whatever of error is of me. Allah
Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,
Burhan