Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalmualaikum

Dear brother I am going through some rough times in my marriage.

My husband and I seems to be growing apart form each other. I know he loves me and I love him as well. It might be me but when I got married to my husband my in-laws didn`t approve it.

It has been over 8 years since I am married. Two years ago for the first time my husband beat me up badly over a little thing. It took me long time to forget about it. Than it happened again few days ago. I work and still try to do as much as I can for him and his family. But my in-laws don`t let go of any moment without passing a sarcastic remark.

My husband also get frustrated. I know they are his parents and I don`t want to disrespect them but I am a human being. I just don`t know how to handle the situation. I feel very drawn away from my husband. I am afraid of talking to him. I want to be with him but on the other side I don`t want to be with him. I feel very insecure in my own house from which I have been asked to leave many times. I spoke to my parents and they also say that you must live with it because of your kids. And my husband says that it is up to me to keep him happy.

But what about me? who should keep me happy? I get upset on when he get upset and I think that his parents are the reason of our fights. I pray from Allah to give me clean heart and forget about every thing that had happened in past but It seems like instead of fading those memories are keep coming back. I Also asked my husband to get me into a separate house and just visit me when he wants to.

I don`t want him to leave his parents but he don`t think that can happened. Can you please guide me on this issue.

Allah hafiz

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Answer:

Wife demand separate house

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: I Also asked my husband to get me into a separate house and just visit me when he wants to. I don`t want him to leave his parents but he don`t think that can happened. Can you please guide me on this issue.

Beloved sister in Islam, the wife is well within her rights given by Allah Subhanah that she may demand to live in a separate house from her in-laws; and it is the responsibility of the husband to provide her with a house according to his ability, even if it is a simple one-room studio apartment. It is the responsibility of the husband to balance his and give all the rights due to his parents, without compromising on the rights due to his wife.

May Allah Subhanah make your trial easy for you and give you a huge reward for your patience and steadfastness. Beloved sister, with wisdom and patience look for an opportune moment, and request and remind your husband regarding your right in Shariah to live in a separate house. If Allah Wills, the physical distance between you and your in-laws when you move to your own house would solve the majority of the issues, and enable your husband to give each their due rights in accordance with the guidance of the Quran and Sunnah.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan