Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salaams
im ashamed to ask this question...but its been troubling me for a very long time ..so im asking u ...

when i was ard 10 yrs old or so...a man who used to come to my house...

He used to fondle my private parts...i did not know wat he was doing...since it gave me sum pleasure i let him to do it...after sumtime he stopped coming to my house...mayb he felt guilty... after that thr were a few men

in my family who did this to me...i dint know how to stop them...and even tho i knew they were doing something rong...i dint know wat it was After sumtime i started doing it myself..and thn whn i was 12 or 13 yrs old...i made my small girl cusin do it to me...bcos it made me feel so good..it stopped after an yr or so......whn i was ard 15 yrs or so..

i realised that i was masturbating... after that .i dint let anyone do it And now i realised ...it is rong to masturbate in islam...i am so ashamed of myslef...i have totally stopped doing it for the past 2 yrs or so..as i promised that i wont do it...

have i done sumthing like the sin of zina...is my sin unforgivable...

i feel very ashamed whn i think bt it...even though i dint know what i was doing..at that time..only thn i realised wat i was doing...

i am very ashamed,,,pls tell me wat to do

waiting for ur reply

a troubled sister

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Seeking forgiveness

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

There is absolutely no doubt that whatever happened in the past was indeed a heinous sin. The people who abused you when you were a child will bear the burden of the heinous sin they committed with an innocent child; and if they do not seek sincere repentance from Allah Subhanah for their evil deeds, they will have a severe accounting in the Court of Allah Subhanah on the Day of Judgement.

Q-1: have i done sumthing like the sin of zina

You are only responsible for what you did after you attained the age of sexual understanding or puberty. Although masturbation is indeed an evil deed and a grave sin in the sight of Shariah, it is not of the same level as the actual sin of zina; but it is indeed considered a part of it.

Q-2: is my sin unforgivable...

No matter what sins one might have done in the past, if one is sincerely ashamed and fears the accounting of an Inevitable Day in the presence of their Majestic Lord; and subsequently seeks sincere repentance from the Merciful Lord for their sins before one’s appointment of death; it is expected that they will find their Lord Merciful and Forgiving.

The door of repentance is open until one meets with the appointment of death! No matter what evil deeds one might have done in the past; if one seeks sincere repentance and forgiveness from the Merciful Lord and subsequently amends his/her conduct, Allah Subhanah has promised to completely wipe out those sins from their Book of Records.

Q-3: i am very ashamed,,,pls tell me wat to do

Whatever evil deeds one might have done in ignorance in the past, if one turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere Taubah and seeks forgiveness, Allah Subhanah has promised in the Holy Quran that He will forgive all the sins of such a believer, even if one has committed the gravest sin of all: ‘Shirk’! Not only that, our Lord is so Merciful and Generous, that He not only will forgive the sins of the believer, He will change his evil deeds done into good deeds!

The conditions or way to seek sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord is:

1. One is aware that he has sinned, and feels sorry and ashamed at his sin.
2. Makes a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that he will not repeat his sin again.
3. Turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness, before he has met with his appointment of death.
4. Is a believer and does righteous good deeds thereafter.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth. When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, “Peace to you”; (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, “O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place”. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who does this shall be punished for his sin, and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

Thus my beloved sister in Islam, do not ever despair of Allah Subhanah’s Mercy; for He is very Merciful towards His believing and submitting slaves. You have already stated in your letter that you are extremely ashamed at what you have done in ignorance in the past, and have promised never to repeat it again ever; which is a sign that you fear the standing and accounting in the Presence of the All-Mighty Lord on the Day of Judgement. Beg and beseech the Merciful Lord to forgive your sins in sincere humility; it is expected that He will forgive all your sins in such a way that you will find no trace of it in your Book of Records on the Day of Judgement, Insha Allah.

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said in an authentic narration: “All of the children of Adam are sinners; and the best (or most loved) sinner (by Allah), is one who constantly seeks repentance.”

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan