Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. hello brother or sister, i need alot of help right now becasue im in a bad situation. me and the person i am with have commited a very bad sin, which is having sexual relations before marriage. this is something i feel extremly guilty about and repent every day. but this isnt the only problem that has happened. the person who i am with does not understand how sever this is and what situation we are currently in. he basically doesnt understand how imortant this is. for example he always talks/threatens about leaving me and how much more better off we will be if we dont have eachother. we have been fighting a lot latley but i cant stand the thought of ever being away from him becasue i love this man with all my heart and soul and i know understand what we have done. could you please send me some aayas from the quran or a website i could use with proof of how much of a sin it is to leave someone who you have done this with and abandon them and basically break their heart and how sever this situation is. thank you for your help.
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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your Statement: …..me and the person i am with have commited a very bad sin, which is having sexual relations before marriage. this is something i feel extremly guilty about and repent every day.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:
Do not even go near ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!
Zina (fornication/adultery) is considered amongst the gravest sins in Islam. One can only imagine the severity of the sin by the punishment Allah and His Messenger (saws) have decreed for this abomination. If one is living in an Islamic State and gets convicted in a Shariah Court of the sin of zina (adultery), the punishment prescribed by Allah and His Messenger (saws) in the life of this world is that the convict should be stoned to death!! And if the person dies without making Taubah or seeking sincere repentance for their transgression from Allah Subhanah before they meet with their appointment of death, their punishment of the Hereafter in the Just Court of Allah Subhanah would be much more severe and lasting!!
Thus first and foremost, one who is guilty of ‘zina’ must immediately turn unto their Lord in ‘taubah’ and seek His sincere forgiveness for their abomination….if indeed one is sincere in seeking repentance, it is expected that they will find their Lord Forgiving and Merciful.
Whatever deeds one might have done in one’s past, if one turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere Taubah and seeks forgiveness, Allah Subhanah has promised in the Holy Quran that He will forgive all the sins of such a repentant believer, even if one has committed the gravest sin of all: ‘Shirk’!
The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:
- One is aware that he has sinned, and feels sorry and ashamed of his sin.
- Makes a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that he will not repeat his sin again.
- Turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness, before he has met with his appointment of death.
- Is a believer and does righteous good deeds thereafter.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:
(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:
The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth. When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, “Peace to you”; (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, “O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place”. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who does this shall be punished for his sin, and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:
When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2338 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah accepts a servant's repentance (taubah) till he gives up his spirit in death."
Your Question: …..but i cant stand the thought of ever being away from him becasue i love this man with all my heart and soul and i know understand what we have done. could you please send me some aayas from the quran or a website i could use with proof of how much of a sin it is to leave someone who you have done this with and abandon them and basically break their heart and how sever this situation is.
Respected sister in Islam, if the person with whom you committed the abomination of ‘zina’, neither understands the severity of the transgression the two of you have commited, nor is ashamed, nor is repentant, nor is he willing to turn in ‘taubah’ unto his Lord Creator and seek forgiveness, nor is willing to amend his conduct……then my respected sister, as much as you may claim to ‘love’ this person, if you are sincerely repentant for the sin which you have committed in the Sight of your Lord Creator, and you sincerely fear your accounting in the Presence of your Lord Most Majestic on that Inevitable and Tumultuous Day of Judgment…..it is absolutely incumbent upon you as a believer to fear Allah and immediately distance yourself from such an impious and evil person!!!
Respected sister, if you are unable to read the ‘writing-on-the-wall’, allow me to read it for you…..
- The impious Mr. Slick has got what he wanted from you (illegal sexual intercourse)!….he does not need you anymore!….nor does he love you! For if he sincerely loved you and intended chastity and marriage, he would have feared Allah and not deflowered and dishonored you in the first place!!!!
Respected sister in Islam, if you are sincerely ashamed at your transgression of the Prescribed Boundaries of your Lord….if you are sincerely repentant for committing the abomination of ‘zina’….if you sincerely fear your Day of Accounting in the Presence of your Lord Creator on that Tumultuous Day of Judgment…..if you sincerely wish that your Lord Most Gracious should accept your repentance and forgive you your abomination of the sin you committed…….it is you who should immediately distance yourself forever from this evil and impious person who is neither repentant at his abomination of a sin, nor fears Allah Subhanah, nor the Last Day! That would constitute piety and righteousness on your part in the Sight of your Lord.
To commit a grave sin, then seek repentance, then again take steps or strive to involve oneself in the same sin again……that would be an absolute abomination in the Sight of the Lord Most Majestic, Most Supreme!!!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 17-18:
17 Allah accepts the repentance of those who do evil in ignorance and repent soon afterwards; to them will Allah turn in Mercy; for Allah is full of Knowledge and Wisdom.
18 Of no effect is the repentance of those who continue to do evil until death faces one of them and he says "Now have I repented indeed"; nor of those who die rejecting faith: for them have We prepared a Punishment, Most Grievous.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:
Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,