Should I Divorce My Second Wife to Remarry My First Wife
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I WAS MARRIED FIRST N DIVORCED MY PREVIOUS WIFE.
I HAVE REMARRIED A WOMAN WHO WAS WIDOW WITH 7 YR OLD CHILD BUT I AM NOT HAPPY N SINCE I MARRY HER, EVERYTHING HAS BECOME VERY BAD FOR ME N THINGS CONTINUE TO BE BAD. SHE IS VERY GOOD TO ME AND NO PROBLEMS BUT I WANT TO DIVORCE HER. WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED 4 MONTHS.
I ALSO NOW REALISE THAT MY PREVIOUS WIFE IS BETTER PERSON AND I WANT TO REMARRY HER. SHE IS GOING TO DIVORCE HER HUSBAND AND HAS 5 YEAR DAUGHTER. I LOVE HER DAUGHTER VERY MUCH AND OUR LIFE WILL BE PERFECT N I WILL BE ABLE TO GIVE LOTS OF RESPECT N LOVE TO THEM WHICH I CANT GIVE TO MY CURRENT WIFE.
YOU HAVE WRITTEN ALLAH DETESTS DIVORCE BUT IS IT OKAY FOR ME TO DIVORCE CURRENT WIFE N REMARRY PREVIOUS WIFE BECAUSE I CAN KEEP PREVIOUS WIFE N DAUGHTER BETTER N GIVE THEM MORE RESPECT, LOVE N SUPPORT.
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Should I Divorce My Second Wife to Remarry My First Wife?
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30
21 And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.
Brother, if your second wife has not caused you any trouble or harm, it is not befitting one who believes in Allah swt that you give her a divorce for no reason or a filmsy one.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 19 (part):
It may be that ye dislike a thing and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.
216 But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah Knows and ye know not.
My dear Beloved brother, since you are married now, the best thing you can do is to forgive her and practice patience and strive to do your duty towards your second wife to the best of your ability. Allah swt will InshaAllah reward you with ajr for your patience and perseverance.
Not to answer your specific questions:
Your first wife is still married and it is not righteous for you to ask her to get a divorce from her husband to marry you again or influence her in any way so that your first wife should ask her husband to divorce her so that she can marry you.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 128-131:
128 If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men's souls are swayed by greed. But if ye do good and practice self-restraint Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2218 Narrated by Thawban
The Prophet (saws) said: If any woman asks
her husband for divorce without some strong reason, (even) the odour of
However, as we see it you have two choices:-
After your first wife gets divorce You have every right to remarry your first wife if you feel you can keep her satisfied and remain happy.
Remarry your first wife without divorcing your second wife and keep both according to the laws of the Shariah.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 3:
3 If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans marry women of your choice two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice.
If you wish to exercise your right to give divorce to the second wife after giving her all her due rights, prepare to answer our Majestic Lord on the Day of Judgement for divorcing her without just cause.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 229:
229 A divorce is only permissible twice: after that the parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness. It is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts (from your wives) except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. If ye do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom (divorce). These are the limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them. If any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah such persons wrong (themselves as well as others).
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2173 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
The Prophet (saws) said: Of all the lawful acts the most detestable to Allah is divorce.
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2172 Narrated by Muharib
The Prophet (saws) said: Allah did not make anything lawful more abominable to Him than divorce.
Beloved brother in Islam, whatever decision you take, you must understand that you should always stay within the boundaries of Shariah and Islamic laws.
In conclusion, My dear beloved brother, when one is considering seeking a decision, then one should follow the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (saws) and perform the istakhara prayer-supplication and seek His Help and Guidance in the matter; and wherever ones heart is content one should follow that path.
This is the beautiful supplication made and taught by the Messenger of Allah (saws) when performing istakhara:
Astakheeroka Bi'ilmik. Wa'astaqdiroka Biqodratik. Wa'as'aloka
min Fadlikal-azeem. Fa'innaka Taqdiru Wala Aqdir. Wata'lamo Wala-a'lam.
Allahomma In Kunta Ta'lamu Anna (Hathal-Amra) Khayul-lee Fi Deenee Wama'ashi
Wa'ajila Amri Wa'ajilah, Faqdorho lee, Wayassirho lee, Thomma-barik lee fih.
Wa'in Konta Ta'lamo Anna (Hathal-Amra) sharrul-lee Fi Deenee. Wama'ashi.
Wa'ajila Amri. Wa'ajilaho. Fasrifho 'annee. Wasrifnee 'anh. Waqdur
Translation of the du'a:
O Allah! I seek Your guidance (in making a choice) by virtue of Your
knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your
great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are
the Knower of hidden things.
O Allah! If in Your knowledge, (this matter) is good for my religion, my
livelihood and my affairs; immediate and in the distant, then ordain for me,
make it easy for me and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge, (this
matter) is bad for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs; immediate and
in the distant, then turn it away from me, and turn me away from it. And
ordain for me the good wherever it be and make me pleased with it.
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is only ones. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,
Members of Islamhelpline