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Arbitration in marriage

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother,

Can we interfere in others personal life, suppouse a husband and wife had a quarrel and don`t talk to each other can we help theme to settled the matter or make them compromosie.

Can we give suggestion to ours friends/brothers in their personal matters?

Kindly enlight us in light of quran and hadiths.

Thanks for your valuable time.


May Allah bless you and your whole team.


(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)




Arbitration in marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 49 Surah Hujuraat Verse 10:

10 The believers are but a single Brotherhood: So make ye peace and reconciliation between your two (contending) brothers: And fear Allah that ye may receive Mercy.


If one sees that the Shaytaan has sowed enmity or hatred or a misunderstanding between two believers, it is the duty of one who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day to strive and leave no stone unturned in trying to make peace and reconciliation between those two contending people.


It would not be piety and righteousness at all that one who believes sees two people at odds with each other due to a misunderstanding created by the Shaytaan, and one lets it be as a personal matter between them and stays aloof without at least trying to sort out the misunderstanding between them.


This duty of striving to make peace and reconciliation between two contending believers hold such eminence in the Sight of Allah Subhanah, that although the believers are Commanded to always declare the truth in absolutely all matters.there is allowance in Shariah that if one invents, or forges, or lies about something in their efforts to make peace between two contending brothers, it will not be recorded as a lie in the Book of Records with the Lord Most Gracious.


Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.857 Narrated by Um Kulthum bint Uqba

That she heard Allah's Messenger (saws) saying, "He who makes peace between (contending) people by inventing good information or saying good things, is not a liar."


Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4902 Narrated byUmm Kulthum bint Uqbah al-Umawiyyah

The Prophet (saws) said: He who forged in order to put things right between two (contending) persons did not lie. The version by Ahmad ibn Muhammad and Musaddad states that the Prophet (saws) declared: The liar is not the one who puts things right between (contending) people, saying what is good and increasing good.


Having said that it is the duty of the believers to strive and make peace between two contending parties, it does not in any way mean that one has the right or a license to interfere in every personal matter of others for the sake of merely seeking information or making matters worse than they already are. But rather one should fear Allah Subhanah, and if and only if they are confident that their arbitration will help create peace between the contending parties should they, with humility, discretion, and wisdom, try their utmost to help create peace between them.


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your brother and well wisher in Islam,





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