Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
dear Burhan, assalam o alaikum, my detail is gonna take
very long to tell what actually is my question.i used to live in pakistan and
was 26 yrs old and couldnt get married because of the men only looking for good
looks. well i'm not ugly but not so beautiful. many people used to come for my
propopsal but rejected me for my looks. or they were looking for a fair
complexion.my sister was in usa, she gotmet with another pakistani family in
the neighbour and coz of this know how the people in my sisters neighbour, they
proposed for me for their brother who not at all good looking and even
physically veryslim it was all arrangd.i was asked about the proposal, i simply
asked two questions, is the person good by his nature and educated. thats was
it about my inquiry for him.i was given answer 'yes'.
so i accepted that proposal and got married in january 2001.he came there in pakistan and we were mArried. you wont believe that i looked at his picture the first time 20 yrs older than me and carry a genetic disease which surely goes in the baby.i got shocked, after two or three days he came back home from hospital telling me that i also have a genetic problem in my blood.believ me i felt as if no earth under my feet while hearing this.the very next day i left to my sisters home in the other state just to get my blood checkedfor the disease he blAMED ME FOR. AS I THOUGHT HE IS TELLING A LIE AS HE HAD BEEN DOING EARLIER ABT HIMSELF JUST TO COVER UP HIS OWN DISEASE. WHILE I LEFT I TOLD MY MOTHER IN LAW AND MY HUSBAND AT HIS WORK . (my husaband was very strict about if i asked to go to my sisters home so didnt take permission but just informed him)while coming here i got blood tested an he was true about me. i went to genetic councellors to know about baby, they all said 80percent chances of baby being abnormalbut there were no prenatal genetic tests to know if there is so in the baby or not.so b4 i exceed my 3 mth period i consuilted a islamic councellor if i got the baby aned the marriage ceremony, or the alternative for divorce.
questions:1)how far do you think according to the teachings of islam, i'm wrong for my abortion of the baby?
2)should i file for the divorce?
3)if he gets
succeeded to show the nullity of marriage, then what does islam say about it
that my husband doesnt need to divorce me?
4)should i still live with him? or i shouldnt leave him just because he told the lie about his disease and if we 'll have children then there will be any disease or abnormality in the baby?
i really need your answers, i'm very depress about whatever happened to me.or if possible can i have your contact # so as to explain you my problem in a proper way?i would be really grateful of your early response. thanks, nazia.Allah hafiz.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your question: how far do you think according to the teachings of islam, i'm wrong for my abortion of the baby?
Islam absolutely prohibits the killing of an unborn child, and this act of abortion is considered a major and grave sin in Islam. Under no conditions can one have an abortion!
Your question: should i file for the divorce?
Under the circumstances, you are well within your rights to initiate a divorce, and there will be no sin upon you if you did.
Your question: if he gets succeeded to show the nullity of marriage, then what does islam say about it that my husband doesnt need to divorce me?
Your husband cannot annul the marriage. If he wants to separate from you, he must give you a divorce.
Your question: should i still live with him? or i shouldnt leave him just because he told the lie about his disease and if we 'll have children then there will be any disease or abnormality in the baby?
That is a decision you will have to make for yourself. If you think that you will be able to live with him, then you may choose to forgive his dishonesty and save your marriage. But if you cannot trust him or bring yourself to forgive him, you are well within your rights to initiate a divorce.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,