What i wish to know is very personal , my mother has, after one divorce ( which she had to take on account of my father`s lack of maturity ), and one heartbreak, kept the Al Quran as the witness and Allah as her guardian and performed nikaah in Bateel , i approve of it most earnestly , acknowledging full-fledgely that , my mother also needs lots of love and affection , more than financial security, since she is a honourable and Allah-fearing woman.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa
Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our
brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Sir,
You are doing good
work by educating those who definitely are in the need of education. After all
the Al Quran is definitely the most appropiate choice and source of all
knowledge, it only requires that one properly understands that which allah the
only and most kind and benevolent one, has made it clear in the holy book.
What i wish to know is very personal , my mother has, after one divorce ( which
she had to take on account of my father`s lack of maturity ), and one
heartbreak, kept the Al Quran as the witness and Allah as her guardian and
performed nikaah in Bateel , i approve of it most earnestly , acknowledging
full-fledgely that , my mother also needs lots of love and affection , more
than financial security, since she is a honourable and Allah-fearing woman.
She has asked me to
know whether such a nikaah would be valid in Al-Islam and in the benevolence of
Allah. Also she only seeks emotional peace with my present father, as i have
very much accepted my mother`s decision , even though i was not present at that
time when she and my pop took this decision. He is unable to provide for us by
material means ,but is a good source of inspiration to me, oh, i forgot to
mention, he is already married with 3 small children, however i or my mom have
no interest and will never intervene in his life apart from us.
Also one more thing
that i would like to know i am Allah -respecting (not fearing person) and have
absolute trust in Allah, but the beast in me, (that which i have inherited from
my paternal father ) is very destructive, and infact i am Qayamat itself if i
ever let the beast in me surface, as when i myself suffered a set-back after
coming to know that the girl i love whole-heartely, is interested in some one
else, infact she has rejected me on account of some one who though not fit for
her, has been chosen by the most kind and benevolent Allah to be receiver of
her affection (at least for the present that is true), this pain has made the
beast in me surface, that which is more darker than the darkest night of despair,
Allah knows i will do everything in my best and worst of my abilities to have
her, even if it means destroying her life and mine, however i have always
practiced a specific form of Shoalin Kung-fu( =Acquired skill) , which i now
use to tame the beast in me and calm my emotions. But what i have already done
cannot be undone, for i have torn the Holy Book of Allah by my own hands ,( and
also leaving a very deep scar in my mom`s heart ). I don`t know what will
become of me tommorrow, i know the Allah is the most kind and most forgiving,
and that My mom has already forgiven me, and if i have acquired any rewards for
any good deed done by me, like showing path to the blind, i pray that Allah the
most kind, deliver whatever blessings that i may receive to my unlucky mom, who
has undergone a lot of physical abuse at the hands of my paternal father.
Dear Mr. Burhan,
I request you to tell
me 1) whether my mom`s nikaah is valid in the eyes of Al Islam, and Al Quran,
Also i forgot to tell you that my current dad is around 15 years younger to my
mom.
2) i am on the path to my redemption, either i will go to depths of hell or
attain Varagya ( dis-association from all world attachement), but would pray to
the kind and benevolent allah that i refrain my journey to either extreme till
the life of my mother, as it very well known to me that she will live more
thirty year, will you pray that Allah grants me the strength to subdue the
beast which will surface on account of my heartbreak, will you?
Thanks And Live long & propers
Khuda Hafiz
(There may be some grammatical and
spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in
confidentiality.)
Answer:
Secret Marriage and Quran torn
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help
and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and
whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness
that there is no one (no idol, no person,
no grave, no prophet, no
imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone,
and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of
His Messengers.
Your Question: What i wish to know
is very personal , my mother has, after one divorce ( which she had to take on
account of my father`s lack of maturity ), and one heartbreak, kept the Al
Quran as the witness and Allah as her guardian and performed nikaah in Bateel ,
i approve of it most earnestly , acknowledging full-fledgely that , my mother
also needs lots of love and affection , more than financial security, since she
is a honourable and Allah-fearing woman.
She has asked me to know whether
such a nikaah would be valid in Al-Islam and in the benevolence of Allah.
Dear and Beloved Brother, a marriage in Islam is a
legal affair which has a set of required and absolutely obligatory rules
(proposal and acceptance, determination of the ‘mehr’, availability of at least
two witnesses to the marriage contract, etc.) for it to be valid in the Sight
of Islamic Law and Allah Subhanah.
No person or couple can individually keep the Quran
or Allah Subhanah as witness and perform the ‘nikaah in batil’; such an act or
contract done without fulfilling the absolutely obligatory conditions of
‘nikaah’ would be absolutely invalid, null and void in the Sight of Islamic Law
and of Allah Subhanah.
Your Statement: But what i have
already done cannot be undone, for i have torn the Holy Book of Allah by my own
hands ,
Beloved Brother, the Al-Quran are the very Words
and a Book of Guidance of Lord Creator revealed for the guidance of all
mankind, and to tear this Noble Book of the All-Mighty and Majestic Lord in a
state of anger is indeed being disrespectful and ungrateful to the favors of the
Lord Most Gracious, to say the least.
Indeed whatever is done cannot be done, but our
Lord Most Gracious is so full of Mercy and Grace towards His creation, that He
has left the door of repentance and ‘taubah’ upon for each individual until
their appointment of death. Thus if one
in their ignorance, were to ever disobey or transgress the boundaries of their
Lord, feels sincere sorrow and shame at their transgression and were to turn
back to their Lord seeking His forgiveness, it is expected that they will find
their Lord Forgiving and Merciful.
Allah says in
the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:
When those come
to you who believe in Our Signs, say:
"Peace be on you! Your Lord had
inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy.
Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his
conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Allah says in
the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:
Allah likes
such good people very much, who, if ever
they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a
sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their
shortcomings. For who, but Allah,
can forgive sins? (And Allah
loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from
Allah, and with Gardens beneath which
canals flow, and they will reside
therein forever! How excellent is the
reward of those who do good deeds!
Allah says in
the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:
(O Prophet)
say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s
Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before
the scourge overtakes you; for then you
may get no help from anywhere.”
Thus my beloved and respected brother, regardless
of what one’s hands might have done in one’s past, never never ever despair of
the Endless and Infinite Mercy and Grace of the Lord Most Gracious, Most
Merciful; for He is ever willing to forgive the transgressions of those who
sincerely turn back to Him and seek His forgiveness. He Alone is indeed the Oft Forgiving, Most
Merciful, Most Gracious towards His obedient and repentant slaves.
Your Statement: will you pray that
Allah grants me the strength to subdue the beast which will surface on account
of my heartbreak, will you?
Dear and Beloved brother,
‘anger’ like love, sadness, happiness, weeping, etc. is a natural emotion of a
human being, and it is possible that at an occurrence or incident one may
experience the emotion of anger. Thus
when one experiences the natural emotion of anger, there is no sin and one will
not be accountable for one’s anger, but what one does or says when one is angry
will definitely be taken to account by their Lord All-Mighty. It is the deeds a person does when he is
angry that will determine his reward or his punishment in the Sight of Allah
Subhanah!
Al-Muwatta Hadith 47.11
Malik related from Ibn Shihab from
Humayd ibn Abd ar-Rahman ibn Awf that a man came to the Messenger of Allah
(saws) and said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), teach me some words which I
can live by. Do not make them too much
for me, lest I forget." The
Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "Do not be angry."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 5145 Narrated by Abu Sa'id al-Khudri
Allah's Messenger (saws) mentioned
anger, saying, "Some are swift to anger and swift to cool down, the one
characteristic making up for the other; some are slow to anger and slow to cool
down, the one characteristic making up for the other; but the best of you are
those who are slow to anger and swift to cool down, and the worst of you are those who are swift to anger
and slow to cool down." He continued, "Beware of anger, for it
is a live coal on the heart of the descendant of Adam. Do you not
notice the swelling of the veins of his neck and the redness of his eyes? So when anyone experiences
anything of that nature he should lie down and cleave to the earth."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 1740 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud
The Prophet (saws) said: A believer
does not taunt, curse, abuse or talk indecently.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 29 Narrated by Mu'adh ibn Jabal
I said to Allah's Messenger (saws): ‘Inform
me about an act which would entitle me to get into
As much as the self-acquired art of ‘Shoalin
Kung-fu’, etc. might claim or be able to help one control their anger; here are
some simple gems of wisdom from none other than the one who was sent with the
Truth, the Last and Final Messenger of Allah (saws), which if employed
sincerely will definitely help one appease one’s state of anger:
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4762 Narrated by Mu'adh ibn Jabal
Two men reviled each other in the
presence of the Prophet (saws) and one of them became excessively angry so much
so that I thought that his nose will break up on account of excess of anger.
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘I know a phrase which, if he repeated, he could get
rid of this angry feeling.’ They asked: ‘What is it, O Messenger of Allah
(saws)?’ He (saws) replied: ‘He should
say: ‘I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytaan.’
Dear and Beloved Brother in Islam, the emotion of
anger is instigated by the accursed enemy of man, the Shaytaan; and as soon as
one experiences anger and before he does anything which he regrets, he should
first and foremost and immediately seek refuge in Allah The Most High from the
accursed Shaytaan by declaring ‘Aoodobillahe minas Shaytaan-ar-rajeem’ (I seek
refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytaan); it is expected that Allah Subhanah
will protect the person who sincerely declares this statement from the
instigations of the Shaytaan.
If the anger still persists, the Messenger of Allah
(saws) guided that the person must immediately sit down if he is standing, and
if he is sitting, he should cleave the earth and lie down. (Have you ever
seen a person lying down being angry??)
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 5114 Narrated by Abu Dharr
Allah's Messenger (saws) said,
"When one of you becomes angry while standing he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good;
otherwise he should lie down."
If that does not work to appease one’s anger, one
must perform the ‘wudu’ (ablution); and if the anger still persists after
ablution, one should offer a couple of rakah of ‘nafl’ prayers; and if the
anger still persists, one should leave the place and go for a walk or a drive.
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4766 Narrated by Atiyyah as-Sa'di
AbuWa'il al-Qass said: ‘We entered
upon Urwah ibn Muhammad ibn as-Sa'di. A man spoke to him and made him angry. So he stood and performed ablution; he then
returned and said: “My father told me on the authority of my grandfather
Atiyyah who reported the Messenger of Allah (saws) as saying: ‘Anger
comes from the Shaytaan, the Shaytaan was created of fire, and fire is
extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should
perform ablution.”’
May Allah Subhanah give you and us the wisdom, the
knowledge, and the courage to confront our accursed enemy, the Shaitaan; and
guide you and us to control our hands and our tongues when we experience the
natural emotion of anger.
Al-Muwatta Hadith 47.12
Yahya related from Malik from Ibn
Shihab from Said ibn al-Musayyab from Abu Hurayra that the Messenger of Allah
(saws) said, "A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries
to the ground. A strong person is he who
contains himself when he is angry."
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4759 Narrated by Mu'adh ibn Jabal
The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: ‘if
anyone suppresses anger when he is in a position to give vent to it, Allah, the
Exalted, will call him on the Day of Resurrection over the heads of all
creatures, and ask him to choose any of the bright and large eyed maidens he
wishes.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 5116 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
Allah's Messenger (saws) said,
"No one has swallowed back anything more excellent in the sight of Allah,
Who is Great and Glorious, than the anger that he restrains, seeking to please
Allah, The Most High."
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due
to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and well
wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister