Is husband responsible for his wife regarding islam?
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
As-Salaam-Wa-Lekum-Wa-Rehmathulahi-Wa Barkatha Hu
What does the Koran say about the following:
A Married Couple are very happy with each other, except when Islam is brought in. For example, The wife gets really upset or mad when the husband relates every thing about life to the guidance of Allah Subhanu Tala...
What i means is...when there is argument, lets say eating Halaal food, the husband wants to only eat halaal; but, the wife says as long as it's not the fat of a swine it's okay. The husbands tells the wife that Allah Subhanu Tala did not guide us to believe what she has just claimed. But the wife eats the 'Haraam' food anyways.
What i want to know is...
If Wife doesn't follow the guidance of Allah Subhanu Tala would the Husband be punished for what the wife does?
I was told it's upto the husband to 'make' the wife follow the right path, if she doesn't the husband will be held accountable on the Day of Judgement, is that true?
And it doesn't just relate to eating Halaal, but every day activities (ie: wearing specific clothes, talking in a specific way (in regards to respect) etc.)
And also what if the couple has a Child and the husband is teaching the child, Islamic ways of life; but, the wife keeps on saying to the Husband 'why are you brain washing my child?' what should the husband do then?
I know deep inside the wife knows the truth and Insha Allah she will be guided towards that truth.
please reply as soon as possible
and may Allah Subhanu Taala accept our duas, forgive our sins and guide as to the right path
Thank You very much, Brother Burhan and the Brothers and Sister working with you
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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Beloved brother, the portrayal you have depicted is indeed not uncommon when two people who are married to each other have completely different ideologies and beliefs; and unfortunately, what you have stated is the state of many couples. Sometimes, the husband wants to adhere to the tenets of Islam, and the wife does not! And sometimes, the wife wants to be obedient to Allah Subhanah, and the husband does not.
The source of such conflict is that sometimes the un-godly world and culture so influences a person, that he whole-heartedly accepts a pagan culture and beliefs, and denies the Truth from their Creator.
If Allah Subhanah has blessed one of the partners with guidance, he must try with wisdom and patience, to make his/her spouse understand the Truth of the Message of their Creator. If the believer is truly a well-wisher of his partner, he will have to exercise extreme patience, fortitude, and tolerance. He must realize that it is not always easy for a person to change their ideologies and belief which they have inherited over a long period of time. It is only through love, wisdom, patience, tolerance, and steadfastness that one will be able to convince his loved one of the Truth of the life of this world, and especially the life of the Hereafter.
Now to answer your specific questions:
Your question: If Wife doesn't follow the guidance of Allah Subhanu Tala would the Husband be punished for what the wife does?
Your question: I was told it's upto the husband to 'make' the wife follow the right path, if she doesn't the husband will be held accountable on the Day of Judgement, is that true?
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 15: Who receiveth guidance receiveth it for his own benefit: who goeth astray doth so to his own loss: no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another: nor would We visit with Our Wrath until We had sent a Messenger (to give warning).
If the husband has tried his best with patience and wisdom to invite his wife to the Truth of Al-Islam, and even after that, if his wife does not accept and follow the Truth; he will not be held responsible for the deeds of his wife.
Your question: And also what if the couple has a Child and the husband is teaching the child, Islamic ways of life; but, the wife keeps on saying to the Husband 'why are you brain washing my child?' what should the husband do then?
If the matter is between halaal and haraam things; there can be absolutely no compromise. But if the matter is not of disobedience to Allah and His Messenger (saws) or some small, petty issues; it would be wise of the husband to show patience and compromise. No believing parent, however sinful they may be, will ever want their children to be evil people. All good values that a parent teaches his/her children are Islamic valuesgood manners, obedience to parents, honesty, truthfulness, the concept of sharing, being kind, benevolent, hard-working, etc. If the values and teachings are good, they have to be Islamic. No Islamic value can ever be bad for the human being and his offsprings!
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,