I also want to know what if the husband does not informs his first wife that he is marrying second.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa
Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
As salam alaikum wa rehmatullah
dears brother thanks a lot for sending me
information. i am sorry to bother but i am still not satisfied with my
questions,
Q1.) I also want to know
what if the husband does not informs his first wife that he is marrying second.
the first wife comes to know about it later when she is interogating with her
husband.
Q2.) the husband tells his first wife
that he does not want to disclose his second marriage, he does not want to tell
his family or anyone else that he had remarried. and when i told him that i
will stay separate and get her to stay with your parents, he said he does not
want to get her in that family.
Q3.) He also said that he will not tell the
second wife that his first wife knows about his second marriage.
Q4.) I am the 1st wife and i am not satisfied with him, he does not give time
to us (me and my child) he comes home at late night around 11.30pm 12.00
or 1.00am or sometime even later then that and goes off in the morning to work.
he make 1 or the other excuse and stays out late night. Before he use to take a
day off, now he does not even do that. whole day i keep thinking wat am i
suppose to do. i m going in deep depression. my brain has stop working.Sometime
i even feel like commiting suicide, but i will not do that. If i leave him I
have nowhere to go. i cannot leave my son.
Q5.) If i divorce him and take the custody of my son. then what is his responsibility.
can i ask him to provide me a house and compensation to take care of our son.
please answer all my questions i want to take up a decision soon or else i will
go mad.
jazak allah
allah hafiz
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errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
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Answer:
Man takes second wife
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is no one (no idol, no person, no
grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai,
nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Q-1: I also want to know what if the husband does not
informs his first wife that he is marrying second. the first wife comes to know
about it later when she is interogating with her husband.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa
verse 3: If ye fear that ye shall not be able to
deal justly with the orphans marry women of your choice two, or three, or
four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with
them) then only one or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable to prevent you
from doing injustice.
Beloved Sister, Allah Subhanah has permitted the believing
men to marry upto a maximum of four wives if they wish to do so. There is absolutely nothing in the Shariah
which states that the husband has to inform or take permission from his first
wife if he wishes to marry again. If one
chooses to inform his first wife of his intention to marry again there is no
harm; and if one chooses for any reason not to inform his first wife of his
intention to take another wife, there is no harm and no sin upon him.
Beloved Sister, there is no law on earth which would stop
a man who wishes to take another woman, if he has made a serious intention to
do so. If one tries to curtail or pressurize
the one who has made a serious intention to take another woman, he will simply
go towards the haraam, or even divorce his first wife and take the second woman
as his wife. Islam has recognized this
distinct polygamous nature of man, and permitted the one who wishes to marry
more than one wife a legal way to practice polygamy, provided he honors the
women as his wives, and fulfills his prescribed duties and responsibilities
amongst them with equality and justice.
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2128 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘When a man has two
wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of
resurrection with a side hanging down.’
Q-2: the husband tells his first wife that he does
not want to disclose his second marriage, he does not want to tell his family
or anyone else that he had remarried. and when i told him that i will stay
separate and get her to stay with your parents, he said he does not want to get
her in that family.
The sacred institution of marriage in Islam is not a secret or illicit affair,
but rather the wisdom behind the having of witnesses and then the Walima or
marriage feast after an Islamic marriage is so that this sacred union between
two people who unite to live their lives together is announced to the society
in general. It would not be considered
righteousness in Islam that a man marries a woman secretly and tries to hide
his marriage from his family, or friends, or society in general.
You are well within your rights to demand that your
husband provide a separate house or dwelling for you, and if Allah has blessed
the husband with the means it would be his duty and responsibility to fulfill
this right of his wife.
If the husband wishes to house his second wife in a
separate dwelling from his family, he is well within his rights to do so; but
it would definitely not be righteousness for him to hide his second marriage
from his family and/or society.
Q-3: He also said that he will not tell the second wife
that his first wife knows about his second marriage.
It is necessary and only righteous for a married man who chooses to marry
again, to inform the second wife before his marriage with her that he is
married and has a wife. If the second wife finds out at a later date
that the man was already married and failed to inform her of his first
marriage, she is well within her rights to have the marriage annulled on
charges of false representation, if she wishes to do so.
But if the husband has told the second wife before her
marriage that he is already married and she would be his second wife, and
subsequently wishes not to discuss with the second wife whether or not the
first wife knows about his second marriage, it is his choice and option.
Q-4: I am the 1st wife and i am not satisfied with him, he
does not give time to us (me and my child) he comes home at late night
around 11.30pm 12.00 or 1.00am or sometime even later then that and goes off in
the morning to work. he make 1 or the other excuse and stays out late night.
Before he use to take a day off, now he does not even do that. whole day i keep
thinking wat am i suppose to do. i m going in deep depression. my brain has
stop working.Sometime i even feel like commiting suicide, but i will not do
that. If i leave him I have nowhere to go. i cannot leave my son.
Beloved Sister in Islam, if you are not satisfied with your husband or his
treatment towards you, you are well within your rights in Islam to initiate a
divorce proceedings against him.
Suicide is obviously never an option for one who sincerely
believes in Allah and the Last Day, for the punishment in the Hereafter of this
abomination of a sin is very severe indeed!
Beloved Sister, in our humble opinion, your current state
of mind and the deep anxiety and depression you experience at the moment is
probably because you are not able to accept the fact that your husband has
chosen to exercise his right to marry again and take a second wife. Like many who do not believe and do not fear
Allah and the Last Day, he could very well have chosen to take the easy route
and inclined towards the haraam, or he could even have divorced you and taken
the other woman as his wife; and no one could have stopped him! But he chose to exercise his right and keep
you as his wife, and also honor and marry the other woman and thus take the
righteous path.
Only if you can bring yourself to accept the reality and
the fact of the situation at hand that your husband has opted to exercise his
right to marry another woman, you will ease the condition of anxiety which you
have laid upon yourself.
The first wife is well within her rights in Islam to seek
a divorce from her husband if he chooses to exercise his option to marry again,
but it is absolutely unlawful for her in Islam to coerce, or force, or
pressurize her husband to divorce his other wife after he has married her
legally, so as to have everything for herself.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.82 Narrated by Abu Huraira
The Prophet (saws) said, "It is not
lawful for a woman to ask for the divorce of her sister (i.e. the other wife)
in order to have everything for herself, for she will take only what Allah has written
for her."
Q-5: If i divorce him and take the custody of my son. then
what is his responsibility. can i ask him to provide me a house and
compensation to take care of our son.
Beloved Sister, firstly regarding the issue of custody of
children in Islam in the case of divorce: Islamic Law states that the mother
shall have custody of the children, whether boy or girl, until the children
have reached the age of understanding or puberty; and it would be the
responsibility of the father to provide for the complete financial upkeep of
the children according to his means.
When the children reach the age of understanding or puberty and the
father wishes to take custody, he has to take his case to the
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,
Burhan
Wister