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I also want to know what if the husband does not informs his first wife that he is marrying second.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

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As salam alaikum wa rehmatullah

dears brother thanks a lot for sending me information. i am sorry to bother but i am still not satisfied with my questions,

 

Q1.) I also want to know what if the husband does not informs his first wife that he is marrying second. the first wife comes to know about it later when she is interogating with her husband.

 

Q2.) the husband tells  his first wife that he does not want to disclose his second marriage, he does not want to tell his family or anyone else that he had remarried. and when i told him that i will stay separate and get her to stay with your parents, he said he does not want to get her in that family.

 

Q3.) He also said that he will not tell the second wife that his first wife knows about his second marriage.


Q4.) I am the 1st wife and i am not satisfied with him, he does not give time to us  (me and my child) he comes home at late night around 11.30pm 12.00 or 1.00am or sometime even later then that and goes off in the morning to work. he make 1 or the other excuse and stays out late night. Before he use to take a day off, now he does not even do that. whole day i keep thinking wat am i suppose to do. i m going in deep depression. my brain has stop working.Sometime i even feel like commiting suicide, but i will not do that. If i leave him I have nowhere to go. i cannot leave my son.


Q5.) If i divorce him and take the custody of my son. then what is his responsibility. can i ask him to provide me a house and compensation to take care of our son. please answer all my questions i want to take up a decision soon or else i will go mad.

jazak allah

allah hafiz

 

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Answer:

 

Man takes second wife

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Q-1: I also want to know what if the husband does not informs his first wife that he is marrying second. the first wife comes to know about it later when she is interogating with her husband.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 3: I
f ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans marry women of your choice two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then only one or (a captive) that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable to prevent you from doing injustice.


 

Beloved Sister, Allah Subhanah has permitted the believing men to marry upto a maximum of four wives if they wish to do so. There is absolutely nothing in the Shariah which states that the husband has to inform or take permission from his first wife if he wishes to marry again. If one chooses to inform his first wife of his intention to marry again there is no harm; and if one chooses for any reason not to inform his first wife of his intention to take another wife, there is no harm and no sin upon him.

 

Beloved Sister, there is no law on earth which would stop a man who wishes to take another woman, if he has made a serious intention to do so. If one tries to curtail or pressurize the one who has made a serious intention to take another woman, he will simply go towards the haraam, or even divorce his first wife and take the second woman as his wife. Islam has recognized this distinct polygamous nature of man, and permitted the one who wishes to marry more than one wife a legal way to practice polygamy, provided he honors the women as his wives, and fulfills his prescribed duties and responsibilities amongst them with equality and justice.

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2128 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: When a man has two wives and he is inclined to one of them, he will come on the Day of resurrection with a side hanging down.

 

Q-2: the husband tells  his first wife that he does not want to disclose his second marriage, he does not want to tell his family or anyone else that he had remarried. and when i told him that i will stay separate and get her to stay with your parents, he said he does not want to get her in that family.
The sacred institution of marriage in Islam is not a secret or illicit affair, but rather the wisdom behind the having of witnesses and then the Walima or marriage feast after an Islamic marriage is so that this sacred union between two people who unite to live their lives together is announced to the society in general. It would not be considered righteousness in Islam that a man marries a woman secretly and tries to hide his marriage from his family, or friends, or society in general.

 

You are well within your rights to demand that your husband provide a separate house or dwelling for you, and if Allah has blessed the husband with the means it would be his duty and responsibility to fulfill this right of his wife.

 

If the husband wishes to house his second wife in a separate dwelling from his family, he is well within his rights to do so; but it would definitely not be righteousness for him to hide his second marriage from his family and/or society.

 

Q-3: He also said that he will not tell the second wife that his first wife knows about his second marriage.
It is necessary and only righteous for a married man who chooses to marry again, to inform the second wife before his marriage with her that he is married and has a wife. If the second wife finds out at a later date that the man was already married and failed to inform her of his first marriage, she is well within her rights to have the marriage annulled on charges of false representation, if she wishes to do so.

 

But if the husband has told the second wife before her marriage that he is already married and she would be his second wife, and subsequently wishes not to discuss with the second wife whether or not the first wife knows about his second marriage, it is his choice and option.

Q-4: I am the 1st wife and i am not satisfied with him, he does not give time to us  (me and my child) he comes home at late night around 11.30pm 12.00 or 1.00am or sometime even later then that and goes off in the morning to work. he make 1 or the other excuse and stays out late night. Before he use to take a day off, now he does not even do that. whole day i keep thinking wat am i suppose to do. i m going in deep depression. my brain has stop working.Sometime i even feel like commiting suicide, but i will not do that. If i leave him I have nowhere to go. i cannot leave my son.
Beloved Sister in Islam, if you are not satisfied with your husband or his treatment towards you, you are well within your rights in Islam to initiate a divorce proceedings against him.

 

Suicide is obviously never an option for one who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day, for the punishment in the Hereafter of this abomination of a sin is very severe indeed!

 

Beloved Sister, in our humble opinion, your current state of mind and the deep anxiety and depression you experience at the moment is probably because you are not able to accept the fact that your husband has chosen to exercise his right to marry again and take a second wife. Like many who do not believe and do not fear Allah and the Last Day, he could very well have chosen to take the easy route and inclined towards the haraam, or he could even have divorced you and taken the other woman as his wife; and no one could have stopped him! But he chose to exercise his right and keep you as his wife, and also honor and marry the other woman and thus take the righteous path.

 

Only if you can bring yourself to accept the reality and the fact of the situation at hand that your husband has opted to exercise his right to marry another woman, you will ease the condition of anxiety which you have laid upon yourself.

 

The first wife is well within her rights in Islam to seek a divorce from her husband if he chooses to exercise his option to marry again, but it is absolutely unlawful for her in Islam to coerce, or force, or pressurize her husband to divorce his other wife after he has married her legally, so as to have everything for herself.

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.82 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "It is not lawful for a woman to ask for the divorce of her sister (i.e. the other wife) in order to have everything for herself, for she will take only what Allah has written for her."

 

Q-5: If i divorce him and take the custody of my son. then what is his responsibility. can i ask him to provide me a house and compensation to take care of our son.

Beloved Sister, firstly regarding the issue of custody of children in Islam in the case of divorce: Islamic Law states that the mother shall have custody of the children, whether boy or girl, until the children have reached the age of understanding or puberty; and it would be the responsibility of the father to provide for the complete financial upkeep of the children according to his means. When the children reach the age of understanding or puberty and the father wishes to take custody, he has to take his case to the Shariah Court and the Judge would ask the children whom they prefer to live with, their mother or their father. The decision the children make regarding whom they chose to live with, their father or their mother, will be implemented by the Judge.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your Brother in Islam,

 

 

Burhan

 


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