Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Assalmualaykoom! my name is Sayed Feroz,i am 20 years of age! basically my problem is that i am in love with a 20 year old muslim girl,i have been meeting her for over a year,since ramadhan we have both realised it is not right and allah will punish us if wer carry on seeing each other.we keep in touch over the phone,which is wrong,we both really miss each other and the only way forward is to getting married to each other,the correct way,i.e involving our perants.we both want to do things the right way,i.e pleasing our perants and also getting blessing from allah.i would like to be guided the right way in how to take things forward. i have told my mum,she is happy with my decision.when i told my dad briefly, he didnt understand me,he said i need money to have a big wedding.my dad is currently suffering from cancer and is looking after his disabled mother who suffered from a stroke, he has alot of pressure on him so i dont want to stress him out,so i just left it and didnt bug him.the girl says her perants wont look at my bank balance etc, they will seek everything islamically,i.e nikkah,the sunnah way,which is what i would like too,her dad is coming from hajj this year and wants the daughter married off asap because she has reached a suitable age,i want to take proposal for her but dont know how to,would u say,im doing the right thing by taking the proposal for the girl with my mother,other family memebers and maybe explaing my father situation to the girls side,inshallah they understand and then we all work a way to explain it to my father the bestest way with out upseting him?i have been praying my namaz`s,asking help from allah,praying 2 rackat nafil`s every night with ishtikara dua`s,i work full time,good enough job, help my perants best i could,contribute for shopping,bills etc at home,i have money saved up for a nikah and food for people to eat,i have applied for own house,im in a waiting list for 2 years,i know you must be thinking why am i saying all this but at this day& age these things are relevant hey to many people.i just need some advice on how to take things forward in a correct mannar,please could you help me as best as you could,inshallah allah may reward you for guiding me rightly,jazakalllah. p.s. can this please stay confidential & can i be emailed back on my address not on the site.khudafiz. allah protect the ummah in danger (ameen)!
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Beloved brother in Islam, Islam has absolutely encouraged the seeking of help and opinion of ones elders when soliciting marriage. There is absolutely no harm if you request your mother and other relatives to take your proposal to the girls parents and ask for her hand in marriage. It is the natural wish of every loving and doting parent that their children gets married as soon as possible, and if Allah Wills, everything will work out for the best.
Continue doing your supplications to Allah Subhanah, and always seek His Help and Guidance in whatever you do; for Allah loves those who constantly supplicate to Him for all their needs.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 186:And if My servants ask you, O Prophet, concerning Me, tell them that I am quite near to them. I hear and answer the prayer of the suppliant, when he calls on Me. So let them respond to My call and believe in Me. (Convey this to them), perhaps they may be guided aright!
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2257 Narrated by Abu Sa'id al-Khudri
The Prophet (saws) said, "Any Muslim who makes a supplication containing nothing which is sinful, or which involves breaking ties of relationship, will be given for it by Allah one of three things: He will give him swift answer, or store it up for him in the next world, or turn away from him an equivalent amount of evil." Those who heard it said they would then make many supplications and he replied that Allah was more ready to answer than they were to ask.
Nu'man b. Bashir reported that the Prophet (saws), said, "Verily supplication is worship."
Related by Ahmad and Abu Dawood.
Abu Hurairah reported, "The Prophet (saws) said, "Nothing is more dear to Allah than one's supplication to Him.''
Related by Tirmidhi and Ibn Maajah
Salman reported that the Prophet (saws), said, "Your Lord, the Blessed and the Exalted One, is Modest and Generous, and He loathes to turn away His servant empty-handed when he raises his hands to Him in supplication."
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,