I fell in love with a girl. The relationship also had its bad cycle - where we had loads of fights.
Mu' meneen Brothers
and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa
Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be
upon all of you)
One of our
brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Dear Brother Burhan - Assalam Alaikum
May Allah help us use this forum in becoming better followers of Islam.
My question: I fell in love with a girl. The relationship also had its bad
cycle - where we had loads of fights. However, then it got better. So now its a
decent relationship. Not amazing, but not bad either. I committed to maryying
her - gave her my word. So she expects to get married to me. Her parents too.
Her parents are old and ill.
The issue is that the girl is not too religious,
where as I am - atleast I want to get religious. She wears western dresses, she
wears sometimes fitted clothes and even sleeveless. Again these are not very
cheap and indecent, but not as conservative as Islam would ask for. Plus she
has male friends and colleagues whom she interacts with socially - which gets
me a little inseucre, but also is islamically incorrect. When I try to push her
to Islam, she gets turned off, and says that she is not a "moulvi".
But on the other hand, she has recently started to get a little religious - she
strictly stopped any physical interaction with me (not that we had much in any
case), she has started praying, and recently she told me that she would want to
go and do umrah with me after marriage even before we leave for honey moon. But
she still wears her sleeve less and westerns and interacts with guys. She
doesnt think it is wrong at all. My question is that "since I have
committed to her, should I marry her" or "should i stick to the
islamic guidance of marrying a religious girl". When it comes to my
parents, my mom is not too happy with this marriage, but she has given me her
ok.
Your brother in Islam
(There
may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum
does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our
readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Answer:
Marry Religious girl
In the name of Allah, We praise
Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none
can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright.
We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam,
no dai, nobody!) worthy of
worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His
slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Sahih Al-Bukhari
Hadith 7.27 Narrated by Abu Huraira
The Prophet (saws)
said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family
status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious
woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."
When Allah and His Messenger
(saws) command the believers to do something and they do not do it, without an
iota of a doubt it is a grave sin which will bring nothing but ruin upon the
transgressors in this world and the Hereafter.
Then there are some things
where Allah and His Messenger (saws) simply guide and advice the believers when
making a choice, like choosing a girl for marriage. Allah is our witness brother, when one
chooses to ignore or overlook even the advice of Allah and His Messenger
(saws), they will never prosper.
As your brothers and
well-wishers in Islam our humble advice to you would be to first and foremost
fear Allah yourself and to accept, follow and obey the advice of Allah and His
Messenger (saws) and choose a pious, religious and God-fearing girl to marry. Such a choice will stand in good stead for you
in your life of this world and the Hereafter.
Whatever written of Truth and
benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error
is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best
and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,
Burhan