Man wants to marry again but fears
Mu'meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Sir I am in a strange situation and utter confusion. I hope you
can help me to find the answer to this.
I am 26 and i got married 2 months back. Now the i girl i got married to is my cousin and is unable to see. Thus can not fullfil household responsibilities toward me. Now i knew this and i took her in my nikkah in good faith that Allah will help me.
Now i know another lady for whom i have allot of feelings and affection. And i believe she is the one who can give me a nice home and can help me to make my life better on the earth and in Akhirat and that she can bring up kids in islamic manner.
She has been married to another person, and has now been divorced. She has two young kids. Then she has lost her parents and has no brother or sister to take care of her. The way i feel for her it is not possible for me to live a life in which she is alone and facing hardships of life.
Please suggest me if it is fine for me to divorce my wife and get married to her because she is the one for whom I have love and affection. And for my wife i only have feelings of sympathy and i feel i will never go out of the way for her and take her with me side by side in the matters of life.
Or you suggest i should get married to the second lady while keeping my wife with me, but this seems too hard to me because keeping in view that i have allot of affection for second lady it will be hard for me to be 100% just to both of them.
Or what, in your opinion, is the right way for me in this
situation. None of these sollutions sound ideal, but
how can i save most. My own life is not of that
importance to me, but i want that both of them can
have a life with security, happiness and respect.
Please do not publish this question on the web and reply me as soon as possible. I will be very grateful.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Man wants to marry again but fears
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
To marry a blind woman, with the intention of helping and supporting her, is indeed a noble and righteous deed deserving of a huge and unending reward from Allah Subhanah. Our humble advise to you since you have already married her, is to not lose this opportunity to earn a huge reward from Allah Subhanah for your very righteous and noble deed. But if you do chose to divorce her, there will be no sin upon you.
If you have feelings for the other woman, who is a divorcee and a mother of two; there is absolutely no harm in keeping your first wife and taking this woman as your second wife. Allah Subhanah knows the condition of each of His slaves, and will reward you in this world and the Hereafter for your noble deeds.
It would be best if you could keep the first wife, and marry the other woman as your second wife; thus giving both of them the honor and respect they deserve.
Your Question: Or you suggest i should get married to the second lady while keeping my wife with me, but this seems too hard to me because keeping in view that i have allot of affection for second lady it will be hard for me to be 100% just to both of them.
Beloved brother, when Islam commands that a man be just between his wives, it means that a man must practice equality and justice in worldly matters between his wives with his allocation of time, resources, and money. It is only natural that a man may love or have more affection for one of his wives more than the other; and Allah Subhanah will not hold you accountable for this natural condition of your heart.
What man will be held accountable for is doing justice and equality between his wives in the worldly matters which are in his absolute control: the allocation of his time, resources and money.
It is only when the husband spends more time with one wife and neglects the other, or spends more resources on one wife and withholds from the other, that he will be called in the Just Court of Allah Subhanah to account for his injustice and inequality between the treatment of his wives.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,