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Relationship with a Non-Muslim

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)



One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Brother, I have a relation with a non muslim girl, I am in a great delima as what to do, I cannt leave her as i will be cheating on her and cannot marry her as it is against Islam and my parents are also against. What should I do, what quran says? How can I purify myself ? 


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Relationship with a Non-Muslim

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:Do not even go near zina (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!


Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor verse 2:The woman and the man guilty of zina (fornication), flog each one of them with a hundred stripes, and let not pity for them restrain you in regard to a matter prescribed by Allah; if indeed you believe in Allah and the Last Day! And let a section of the believers witness the punishment inflicted on them.


Other than marriage, Islam absolutely prohibits having a relation with a non-mehram girl. It is a grave sin in the sight of Allah Subhanah!


Your Statement: I am in a great delima as what to do, I cannt leave her as i will be cheating on her and cannot marry her as it is against Islam and my parents are also against.

The first and foremost thing that you should do is stop having any relation with this woman, if indeed you fear standing in the Court of Allah Subhanah on an Inevitable Day! If you can convince the woman to accept Islam, there is nothing stopping you from marrying her. And if your parents are against the idea of your marriage with her, then you can humbly explain your dilemna to them and try to convince them politely.

Whatever you do brother, you must immediately legalize this relationship with the girl; or leave her alone! Whatever pain or sorrow it might cause you if you are left with no option but to leave the girl; we assure you that it is absolutely uncomparable to the pain, sorrow and torment that will be meted out to the fornicators in the Hereafter! You must either legalize this relation with a proper Islamic marriage, or leave the girl.


Your Question: How can I purify myself ? 

It is the Mercy and Grace of our Merciful Lord that He has kept the door of Taubah and repentance open for those who have sinned. Allah Subhanah forgives all sins, provided one turns to him in sincere Taubah before his appointment of death approaches him; feels ashamed and sorry for the act he has committed; makes a solemn pact with Allah Subhanah that he would not turn to the road of sin again; and does righteous good deeds in accordance with the guidance of the Quran and Sunnah. For such people, Allah has promised His Mercy and Forgiveness. For the ones who do sincere Taubah, Allah removes and forgives all sins.


Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:(O Prophet) say: O My servants who have wronged their own souls.Do not despair of Allahs Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.


Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!


Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth. When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, Peace to you; (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit zina (fornication and adultery) He who does this shall be punished for his sin, and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your Brother in Islam,





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