Father marries another woman
Mu' meneen Brothers
and Sisters,
As Salaam
Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and
Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our
brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Dear Mr Burham
i have a personal question to ask u. what does Islam say about respecting your parents. if your father leaves your mother and marries another women. should you still respect him and keep some kind of relationship with him even though he will not speak to your mother or should you support/backup your mother and finish off all ties with your father. i hope to hear from u soon.
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Answer:
Father marries another woman
In
the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His
forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to
fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one
(no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam,
no dai, nobody!) worthy of
worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His
slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Q-1: what does Islam say about respecting your
parents.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verses 23-24:
Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him. Treat your parents with great consideration; if either or both of them live with you in
their old age, do not say even ‘uff’
to them; nor rebuke them; but speak kind words to them. Treat them with humility and tenderness,
and pray, “O our Lord! Be merciful to
them just as they brought me up with kindness and affection.”
Time and
time again, all over the Quran, after the verses where Allah commands the
believers to worship none with Him, the
very next verse is to obey our parents!
Such is the position and honor Allah has bestowed upon the parents in
Islam.
Q-2: if your father leaves your mother and
marries another women. should you still respect him and keep some kind of
relationship with him even though he will not speak to your mother or should
you support/backup your mother and finish off all ties with your father.
Whatever
one’s father or mother, or any blood
relative may do; it does not behove a
believer to break the relations that Allah has made for him. It is a grave sin in the sight of Allah for
someone to break his blood relationships.
Besides, Allah has given the permission to a
believing man to marry again if he so wills,
upto a maximum of four wives at any one time. Thus, if one’s father
decides to marry again, we as his obedient
children, must accord the same respect
and love for our father, as
before. His marriage does not and
should not change our relationship with our father. Under no circumstances are the believers allowed to break the
bonds of relationships, which Allah
Subhanah has made for them.
It would
be Islamically better, purer and easier
for you to accept your father’s decision,
and honor and respect his new wife and your step-mother, rather than oppose the decision he has
made. Your father is well within his
rights to marry again, if he so wills.
It is
also your duty to honor and respect and take care of your mother, and try to explain to her that your father
has not committed a crime or done anything illegal by choosing to marry again.
But if
your father has completely left your mother,
and is spending all his time and wealth on his new wife; he is committing a wrong for which he will
have to answer Allah Subhanah, on the Day of Judgment. Islam demands that the believers who marry
more than one wife, must treat and
provide for each of them equally, and justly divide his time between them. If he does not do so, he will have a severe accounting in the
Court of Allah on the Day of Judgment.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 129-129:
When a women fears ill-treatment or aversion from her husband, there is no harm if the two make peace
between themselves (by means of a compromise);
after all, peace is the best
thing. Human souls are prone to
narrow-mindedness, but if you show
generosity and fear Allah in your dealings,
you may rest assured that Allah will be fully aware of all that you
do. It is not within your power to be
perfectly equitable in your treatment with all your wives, even if you wish to be so. Therefore (in order to satisfy the dictates
of Divine Law) do not lean wholly towards one wife, so as to leave the other in a state of suspense. If you behave righteously and fear
Allah, you will find Allah Forgiving
and Compassionate.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your Brother in
Islam,
Burhan