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One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salaams,

Recently I came to know  about this beautiful and helpful site.  I want to ask  a question about  "Maher". Just a few days back one of my friend told me something which I'm not sure if it's right or wrong. According to him if a man doesn't pay the maher to his wife before having kids, then the kids are considered as legitimate. He said that a husband should pay it on the very first day of his wedding. I'm married and have  two kids and I haven't paid maher to my wife so far. After  knowing  this I'm very disturbed. I just want to know whatever he said if it is correct then what am I supposed to do now. Another thing I want to confirm is that when we do  wadu for namaz , are we supposed to do "Istinja" as well at the same time , is it a part of wadu  or just regular wadu ,without istinja is enough (even if one's istinja is not valid). Please reply my mail as soon as possible as I'm really confused.. Masalam and Thankyou .

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Answer:

When to pay mehr

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: Just a few days back one of my friend told me something which I'm not sure if it's right or wrong. According to him if a man doesn't pay the maher to his wife before having kids, then the kids are considered as legitimate. He said that a husband should pay it on the very first day of his wedding.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 4:

4 And give the women (on marriage) their dower (mehr) as a free gift; but if they of their own good pleasure remit any part of it to you take it and enjoy it with right good cheer.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 24:

24 Also (prohibited are) women already married except those whom your right hands possess. Thus hath Allah ordained (prohibitions) against you: except for these all others are lawful provided ye seek (them in marriage) with gifts (mehr) from your property desiring chastity not lust. Seeing that ye derive benefit from them give them their dowers (at least) as prescribed; but if after a dower is prescribed ye agree mutually (to vary it) there is no blame on you and Allah is All-Knowing All-Wise.

To determine the amount of ‘mehr’ is one of the absolutely obligatory conditions of a ‘nikaah’ to be considered valid and legal in Shariah Law, and it would obviously be best, and akin to piety and righteousness, that one fulfill the determined ‘mehr’ unto their bride at the time of ‘nikaah’ itself.

The bride is the sole and inherent owner of the ‘mehr’ and she is well within her rights in Islam to do whatever she wills and pleases with her ‘mehr’. The bride is well within her rights in Islam to agree to accept the promised ‘mehr’ at a later date, or agree to accept the ‘mehr’ in installments over a period of time, or even to forgive a part or all of it, etc….

As long as the amount of the ‘mehr’ was determined and accepted by the bride at the time of the ‘nikaah’, the marriage itself will be considered absolutely lawful, legal, and valid in the Sight of Shariah Law and in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

Your Question: …..According to him if a man doesn't pay the maher to his wife before having kids, then the kids are considered as legitimate.

If the amount of the ‘mehr’ was determined and accepted by the bride at the time of the ‘nikaah’, absolutely regardless of whether the ‘mehr’ was actually paid or not, rest absolutely assured that the marriage itself would be considered lawful and legal in the Sight of Shariah Law and of Allah Subhanah…..and if the Lord blesses the couple with children in their marriage, rest assured that those children will be absolutely legitimate in the Sight of Shariah Law and of Allah Subhanah.

Your friend who made this claim that the children resulting from a marriage where the ‘mehr’ is not fully paid should be asked to present his evidence for his declaration from the Quran and/or the Sunnah!!!!

Your Question: I'm married and have  two kids and I haven't paid maher to my wife so far. After  knowing  this I'm very disturbed. I just want to know whatever he said if it is correct then what am I supposed to do now.

Respected brother, we reiterate again, that as long as the ‘mehr’ was determined and accepted by your wife at the time of the ‘nikaah’, the marriage and children resulting from that marriage would be absolutely lawful in the Sight of Shariah Law and in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

Your Question: …..what am I supposed to do now.

Respected brother in Islam, the ‘mehr’ will remain a debt unto your wife until you pay the determined amount to her in full, or she, of her own free will, chooses to forgive a part or all of it.

It would only be piety and righteousness on your part in the Sight of the Lord that you strive your absolute utmost to fulfill the promised ‘mehr’ unto your wife….for if, Allah forbid, were you to die without paying the promised ‘mehr’ unto your wife, you would have to fulfill this unpaid debt of yours to your wife on the Day of Judgment in the currency of the Hereafter; ie. deeds!

Sahih Muslim Hadith 6251 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘Do you know who is the abjectly poor?’ They (the Companions (r.a.)) replied: ‘An abjectly poor person amongst us is one who has neither dirham with him nor wealth.’ He (the Prophet (saws)) said: ‘The abjectly poor of my Ummah would be he who would come on the Day of Resurrection with prayers and fasts and Zakat but (he would find himself bankrupt on that day as he would have exhausted his funds of virtues) since he hurled abuses upon others, brought calumny against others, unlawfully consumed the wealth of others, shed the blood of others, beat others, etc. The virtues of such a person would be credited to the account of one (who suffered at his hand). And if his good deeds fall short to clear the account, then their sins would be entered in (his account) and he would be thrown in the Hell-Fire?’

Your Question: Another thing I want to confirm is that when we do  wadu for namaz , are we supposed to do "Istinja" as well at the same time , is it a part of wadu  or just regular wadu ,without istinja is enough (even if one's istinja is not valid).

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 6 (part):

6 O ye who believe! When ye prepare for prayer wash your faces and your hands (and arms) to the elbows; rub your heads (with water); and (wash) your feet to the ankles.

Sahih Muslim Hadith 502 Narrated by Aisha

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: ‘Ten are the acts according to fitrah (nature): clipping the moustache, letting the beard grow, using the tooth-stick, snuffing up water in the nose, cutting the nails, washing the finger joints, plucking the hair under the armpits, shaving the pubes, and cleaning one's private parts (after easing or urinating) with water.’ The narrator said: ‘I have forgotten the tenth, but it may have been rinsing the mouth.’

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.81 Narrated by Ibn Abbas

Once the Prophet (saws) went through the graveyards of Medina and heard the voices of two humans who were being tortured in their graves. The Prophet (saws) said, "They are being punished, but they are not being punished because of a major sin, yet their sins are great. One of them used not to save himself from (being soiled with) the urine, and the other used to go about with calumnies (Namima)."

One is not required to be in the state of ‘wudu’ at all times, for ‘wudu’ is an obligatory requirement only when one intends to offer one’s prayer or while in the state of ‘tawaaf’ of the Sacred House….but to cleanse oneself after answering the call to nature or ‘istinja’ is one amongst the ‘fitrah’ or natural acts, and a believer is required to cleanse oneself every time one answers the call of nature.

One is obliged and required to perform the ‘istinja’ every time one answers the call of nature, but if one’s state of ‘istinja’ is valid, and one does not need to answer the call of nature before doing one’s ‘wudu’ for prayer, there is absolutely no obligation on the believers to do an ‘istinja’ every time one performs the ‘wudu’ for prayer.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan