Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I have been married for 7 years and have two beautiful kids. I`m facing problems at the moment in my marriage and would like to ask for some guidance.

Recently, I have met a man who is a Christian. We started off as friends but than as time go by we began to fall inlove with each other. My husband is 11 years older than me whereas the other man is only 4 years older. So my husband and I have a vast age gap and he does not seem to understand me at all. I am very confused now because everytime I am with my husband I think of my friend. I no that the only way for both of us to be together is to get a divorce from my husband but than I am not ready for that as my children are still small and I believe that they need their father to be around them.

My marriage is filled with financial problems as my husband earns lesser than me, he is a spendthrift and he gambles too. My life is plaque with debts as he keeps on borrowing money from others and I end up settling it. Furthermore now, I think my love for my hubby has gone.

But I still put a brave front and smile all the time at home because of the kids and my parents. Please provide me guidance coz I`m totally at a lost now.  

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Woman loves another than husband

the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His  forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

Men are the managers of women, because Allah has made one superior to the other, and because men support them from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence, what Allah would have them guard.

Allah commands the believing and righteous women to be devoutly obedient to their husbands, and guard their modesty, and their honor, and their property, etc. in their husbands absence. If a husband forms an illicit relationship with another woman, or a wife forms an illicit relationship with another man; it will be considered dishonesty and treachery against the spouse’s rights; and a grave sin in the sight of Allah Subhanah.

If one has been swayed by emotions, or they have justified to themselves any such illicit and secret relationship out of marriage; they should fear Allah and His Wrath and Anger, and immediately turn to Him in sincere Taubah and repentance. For Allah is indeed All Forgiving, Very Merciful.

Dear Sister in Islam, it does not behove a righteous woman, who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day, to have a relationship with any non-mehram man out of marriage. Allah has blessed you with a family and offspring; and you should be grateful to Allah for all the favors He has done upon you. If you continue your relationship with your ‘friend’, you will not only risk losing your family, your honor, your modesty, but you will be held severely accountable for what happens in the Court of Allah Subhanah on an Inevitable Day.

If your husband has any weaknesses, you must try to instill the fear of Allah and His Accounting in Him, and try to bring him to the Straight Path. If your husband is much older than you; then this is something that you should have challenged before you agreed to spend your life with him in marriage and wedlock. And you must think about the welfare of the children that Allah has blessed you with.

Whatever path you may decide to take; you must, in light of the teachings of the Quran and Sunnah, stop your relationship with your ‘friend’ immediately; if you sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day. In the sight of Shariah, your relationship with this ‘friend’ is absolutely illegal, immoral, dishonest, and against the pure and sacred relationship of marriage.

My dear Sister in Islam, we beseech you to fear Allah and His Accounting of a Day, which will be very severe for those who disobey Allah and His Messenger (saws).

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan