Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salaam,

Thank you so very much for answering my question urgently. May Allah give you its ajar. You replied me in time as I needed your reply to show it to my husband and his family. Brother my situation is very complicated because my husband has already given me 1 conditional divorce during my 2nd pregnancy.

1) Giving me conditional divorces has always been his weapon against me. And i always did what he wanted, to save my marriage. But this time I refused to do what he said to me because i feel he could've convinced me with love and respect, instead of directly coming to divorce. Also I acted oppositely upon his threat this time so that he may realize his responsibility. That if Allah has given him a right to divorce his wife, it doesn't mean at all that he should always use it as a weapon against me. Currently i'm passing through Iddat time period up till my delivery. I'm staying at my parents house right now with no financial support from my husband for my 1st baby and my 2nd pregnancy. Now he wants Ruju but I'm refusing because I want him give me assurance that he'll not repeat his behavior in future. I realize that it was a big step and as a result 1 divorce took place between us but i had to stop him somehow from blackmailing me always like this.

I wanted to know that If there is any sin upon me for this act of mine?????

Also i want to know if my husband is responsible to bear my baby's expenses + mine during pregnancy and iddat period?? or not??

2) And can u plz suggest me any proper wordings to write in the written confirmation of mehr. Such words which show that i received gold mehr at nikkah time. But they would definately want to put current date on the paper and this can be used unfairly against me in future. If i give them written now and after sometime they take away jewelery from me somehow (because it is something of use and to wear) then they'll be having both jewelery and my written acceptance of having jewelery. Keeping in view this situation plz plz plz suggest me what do i do.

I give them written confirmation or not???

And if i give them, which words should i use???

Thanks for reading me again. plz try to reply soon because they are continuously forcing us and we've to reply them back soon.

Allah hafiz

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Answer:

Conditional divorce, rujju and upkeep of divorced pregnant wife

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Question 1

Giving me conditional divorces has always been his weapon against me. And i always did what he wanted, to save my marriage.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 229-230:

229    A divorce is only permissible twice: after that the parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness.  It is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts (from your wives) except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah.  If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them.  If any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah such persons wrong (themselves as well as others).

230    So if a husband divorces his wife (irrevocably or 3^rd divorce) he cannot after that remarry her until after she has married another husband and he has divorced her.  In that case there is no blame on either of them if they reunite provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah.  Such are the limits ordained by Allah which He makes plain to those who understand.

A conditional or hanging divorce is what is known in Islamic Jurispurdence as ‘talaq mutallaq’. 

A ‘talaq mutallaq’, or hanging, or conditional divorce is when a husband puts a condition to the divorce that if the wife does such and such, or if such and such happens, she is divorced.  As long as the condition is not fulfilled, the divorce pronouncement will remain ‘hanging’….and as soon as the condition is fulfilled, a divorce will be established, and one of the three divorce pronouncements of the marriage will be deemed utilized.

For example: if a husband says to his wife that if you meet such and such a person, you are divorced.  As long as the wife abstains from meeting that particular person, the divorce will remain in a ‘hanging’ mode; and as soon as she meets that person, the divorce will be established.

Or if the husband says if you cook fish in the house, you are divorced; or if you go to London you are divorced, etc…..basically any condition laid down by the husband whereby he clearly declares that if the wife were to do such and such a thing, she is divorced….such a divorce will remain ‘hanging’ or ‘conditional’ until the condition is fulfilled.

Question 2

But this time I refused to do what he said to me because i feel he could've convinced me with love and respect, instead of directly coming to divorce. Also I acted oppositely upon his threat this time so that he may realize his responsibility. That if Allah has given him a right to divorce his wife, it doesn't mean at all that he should always use it as a weapon against me. Currently i'm passing through Iddat time period up till my delivery

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 65 Surah Talaq verses 4-6:

4        Such of your women (upon whom divorce has been pronounced) as have passed the age of monthly courses for them the prescribed (iddah or waiting) period if ye have any doubt is three months, and for those who have no courses (it is the same): for those who carry (life within their wombs) their (iddah) period is until they deliver their burdens: and for those who fear Allah He will make their path easy.

5        That is the Command of Allah which He has sent down to you: and if anyone fears Allah He will remove his ills from him and will enlarge His reward.

6        Let the women live (in 'iddah) in the same style as ye live according to your means: annoy them not so as to restrict them.  And if they carry (life in their wombs) then spend (your substance) on them until they deliver their burden: and if they suckle your (offspring) give them their recompense: and take mutual counsel together according to what is just and reasonable.  And if ye find yourselves in difficulties let another woman suckle (the child) on the (father's) behalf.

It is permissible in Islam for a believer to announce divorce on his wife during her pregnancy. Rather than the normal waiting or ‘iddah’ period of three monthly courses, the ‘iddah’ period of divorce for a pregnant woman will be until she has delivered the baby.

Question 3

I'm staying at my parents house right now with no financial support from my husband for my 1st baby and my 2nd pregnancy.

Also i want to know if my husband is responsible to bear my baby's expenses + mine during pregnancy and iddat period?? or not??

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 232-233:

232    When ye divorce women and they fulfil the term of their (`Iddat) do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands if they mutually agree on equitable terms.  This instruction is for all amongst you who believe in Allah and the Last Day.  That is (the course making for) most virtue and purity amongst you and Allah knows and ye know not.

233    The mothers shall give suck to their offspring for two whole years if the father desires to complete the term.  But he shall bear the cost of their food and clothing on equitable terms.  No soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear.  No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child nor father on account of his child.  An heir shall be chargeable in the same way if they both decide on weaning by mutual consent and after due consultation there is no blame on them.  If ye decide on a foster-mother for your offspring there is no blame on you provided ye pay (the mother) what ye offered on equitable terms.  But fear Allah and know that Allah sees well what ye do.

Shariah Law dictates that the husband will be financially responsible for the complete upkeep of his pregnant wife, upon whom he has pronounced a divorce, until the day she delivers the baby.  The baby will remain in the mother’s custody and the father will be financially responsible for the complete upkeep of the child until the child reaches adulthood.

Allah Subhanah has declared the exact rights which are due to each party during a divorce proceedings and its aftermath, and every believer who sincerely believes in Allah and the accounting in His Majestic Presence is duty bound to obey and fulfill each of these rights in full.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 65 Surah Talaq verses 1:

1        O Prophet!  When ye do divorce women divorce them at their prescribed periods and count (accurately) their prescribed periods: and fear Allah your Lord: and turn them not out of their houses nor shall they (themselves) leave except in case they are guilty of some open lewdness.  Those are limits set by Allah: and any who transgresses the limits of Allah does verily wrong his (own) soul: thou knowest not if perchance Allah will bring about thereafter some new situation.

Under normal circumstances, when the revocable (the 1^st or 2^nd) divorce is pronounced, neither the husband shall strive or do things to force his wife to leave the house; nor the wife should strive or take steps to leave…but rather both should fear Allah, trust His Wisdom, and with honor, patience, generosity and magnanimity strive to fulfill the commands of their Lord Creator.

The iddah of a divorcee should always be done in the husband’s home. There is a chance of reconciliation in this situation. At all times one should work on saving their marriage. A divorce is one of the most hated permissible acts in the sight of Allah swt.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2173  Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Of all the lawful acts’ the most detestable to Allah is divorce.’

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2172  Narrated by Muharib

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Allah did not make anything lawful more abominable to Him than divorce.’

Question 5

Now he wants Ruju but I'm refusing because I want him give me assurance that he'll not repeat his behavior in future. I realize that it was a big step and as a result 1 divorce took place between us but i had to stop him somehow from blackmailing me always like this.

Allah swt has permitted the husbands to pronounce the recoverable divorce twice. Subsequently He has also allowed the husbands to revoke these two divorces pronounced by them before the expiry of the iddahs. This facility has been granted to give the marriage a chance to be saved because most times the husband pronounces the divorce in anger. Because the divorce was pronounced by the husband therefore the prerogative of the rujju is also given to him. The wife therefore is obliged to also accept the divorce and the rujju proposal if made before the expiry of the iddah period.

If you are in iddah of the 1st. conditional divorce by your husband and the iddah period is not yet over and he has asked for Rujju then your husband has used one of his three divorce rights and you are obliged to return to him. Here you cannot refuse to return as it is the husbands right to request a Rujju.

But if he wants you to return to him after the expiry of the iddah period then a new nikaah with mehr etc., has to be made, then you have the right to refuse this new nikaah proposal.

Question 6

I wanted to know that If there is any sin upon me for this act of mine?????

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 128-131:

128 If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men's souls are swayed by greed. But if ye do good and practice self-restraint Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.

If you have not acceded to your husband’s request of signing the papers and he gave you a conditional divorce, there is no sin upon you. But you will have to return to him if he requests a Rujju before the expiry of the iddah. You can, however, take an assurance from him that he will not pronounce any conditional divorces in future, but there is no binding upon him to keep his word. In any case he can only do this once more as he has used the 1^st one already.

Question 7

And can u plz suggest me any proper wordings to write in the written confirmation of mehr. Such words which show that i received gold mehr at nikkah time. But they would definately want to put current date on the paper and this can be used unfairly against me in future. If i give them written now and after sometime they take away jewelery from me somehow (because it is something of use and to wear) then they'll be having both jewelery and my written acceptance of having jewelery. Keeping in view this situation plz plz plz suggest me what do i do.

I give them written confirmation or not???

And if i give them, which words should i use???

If your in-laws are asking for a written document wherein it is mentioned that you have received your mehr in gold, then to ease the tension in your marriage and maybe save it, tell them to make a document and you will sign after taking your parents advice. You may send us the matter in your next email and we will be honored to go through it and ensure your rights are not compromised. If we make a draft maybe they will have objections so it is better they give you a draft and we will scrutinize and give you our comments and suggestions.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is only ones.  Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

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