Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalaamu alaykum brother burhan

Brother I have a question, after Allah, for a women who should she consider in her life, in this world,

her husband

her parents

her kids

her siblings etc who?

AND WHAT ABOUT FOR A MAN?

as i am confused my granny says ,after Allah n rasool, for a woman its her husband

and for a man his parents comes first, then his kids and then his wife and so on...........

brother kindly explain.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Heirarcy who to obey most

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

For one who has professed belief in Allah and the Last Day, regardless of whether one is a man or a woman, their first and only loyalty should always, and I reiterate always, be unto Allah Subhanah and His Messenger (saws). Every other loyalty and/or rights due of a believer is and would always remain subservient to one’s loyalty of Allah and His Messenger (saws)!

If ever a loyalty or right that is due to anyone or anything in creation compromises or contradicts with the loyalty or right due to Allah and His Messenger (saws), then one is not to fulfill that loyalty unto creation….for every other loyalty or right is and will remain always subservient to the loyalty and rights of Allah and His Messenger (saws)!

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3696 Narrated by An-Nawwas ibn Sam'an

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the Creator."

Provided the rights due to Allah and His Messenger (saws) are not compromised, one is obligated and duty-bound to fulfill the rights of others in creation in such a way that one fulfills the due rights of each party in full without effecting or usurping the rights of the other in the least.

Thus, regardless of whether one is a man or woman, if indeed they fear Allah and the Last Day, they are duty bound and obligated to strive their utmost to fulfill the rights due to their mother without affecting the rights due to their father; fulfill the rights due to their parents without affecting the rights due to their spouse, or fulfill their rights due to their spouse without affecting the rights due to their siblings, or their off-spring, or to their blood relatives, etc. It would not be piety or righteousness that one usurp the rights of one party and give them to another, but rather the rights of each must be fulfilled without affecting the rights of the other.

If one, man or woman, finds themselves in an absolute unfortunate situation where they are forced to or can choose to fulfill the rights of only one party…eg. one’s mother or one’s father, or one’s parents and one’s spouse….then one is put in a situation similar to deciding whether one should save their right eye or their left eye! In such a situation, one should first and foremost seek the help of and fear Allah their Lord, and utilize one’s wisdom and patience and strive their absolute utmost to make sure that regardless of which party’s rights are most honored, the absolute least damage in done to the rights of the other party.

Your Question: ….as i am confused my granny says ,after Allah n rasool, for a woman its her husband and for a man his parents comes first, then his kids and then his wife and so on...........

It is not as if for a believing man his rights due to his parents take precedence over the rights due to his wife; or for a believing woman the rights due to her husband take precedence over the rights due to her parents! Shariah Law Dictates and Demands that the rights of each party be honored without affecting the rights of the other party.

Thus a believing man is duty bound and obligated to fulfill all the rights to his parents without affecting the rights due to his wife in the least; and the believing woman is duty-bound and obligated to fulfill all the rights due to her husband without affecting the rights due to her parents in the least….that would be considered piety and righteousness in the Sight of the Lord.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan