Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

I would like to know that if it was ok for me to ask my wife to swore on the quran that she did not have sex with a another male because I have found out that she was talking to another male but she doesnt admit that she had sex with him but she did kiss him but I can not stop thinking about it because this is the 2nd time in the last year i have caught her speaking to this male for weeks on end the only reason im still with her is because i have a child and dont want him to have his parents split up and give him bad start to life and i also love my wife very much but i need to know just for my mind otherwise i feel like i will go crazy. 

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Answer:

Suspicion of adultery on wife

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 49 Surah Hujuraat verse 12:

12 O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: and spy not on each other nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it...but fear Allah: for Allah is Oft-Returning Most Merciful.

Respected brother, unless and until you have yourself seen with your very eyes your wife committing the act of adultery, or you can bring forth four reliable witnesses who will bear witness under oath that they have seen your wife committing the actual act of adultery…..you have absolutely no right and no basis of assuming or accusing your wife of the heinous crime of adultery!!!

If Allah forbid you were to do so, you would involve yourself in one of the gravest sins in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.28 Narrated byAbu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "Avoid the seven Great Destructive Sins." The companions enquired "O Allah's Messenger (saws)! What are they?" He (saws) said,

1. To join others in worship along with Allah,
2. to practice sorcery,
3. to kill the life which Allah has forbidden except for a just cause, (according to Islamic law),
4. to eat up riba (usury),
5. to eat up an orphan's wealth,
6. to give back to the enemy and fleeing from the battlefield at the time of fighting,
7. and to accuse chaste women of committing ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery).

Thus my respected brother, if you have not seen your wife committing the actual act of adultery with your own very eyes, nor are you able to bring forth four reliable witnesses to that effect…..you have absolutely no right to accuse your wife of adultery or to ask her, leave alone coerce her, to take an oath to absolve herself from the heinous sin of ‘zina’!

But as her husband united with her in the sacred bond of marriage, you are obviously well within your rights in Islam to question her and warn her firmly regarding what you have indeed seen. ie. meeting and/or talking in private, and (Allah forbid) kissing, ‘non-mehram’ men, etc. Such behavior is absolutely not acceptable of believing woman who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day.

If after your clear warning, she is unable to bring herself from such unacceptable behavior, you are obviously well within your rights to initiate divorce proceedings against such an impious woman. But we reiterate again, to accuse her of adultery, or to ask her to take an oath that she is not an adulterer, without absolute concrete evidence would be to commit one of the greatest sins in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan