Husband denies wife conjugal rights.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
I married at the age of 23. I took Khulaa from my first
husband due to compatiblitity issues. I started working and in the meanwhile
started searching for prospective grooms thro` matrimonial sites. I married
again at the age of 28 to a divorcee who has 3 sons. I gave my email address
and password to my husband since he asked for it. My husband read few mails
which contained fun letters, adult jokes, etc. He left me and then I started
living with my mother. One day, he sent me a letter stating single talaq when I
was menstruating. He also sent the Mehr amount. We went to his city and tried
to convince him to which he said that he needed some time to think over.
After 5 months of discussions, he came to my mother`s
place and said that he would again accept me as his wife but he would also
bring his divorced wife home because his children need her. I asked him whether
he would provide me with my own children for which he replied that if Allah
wishes it would happed. I agreed to go with him as I did not find any other
better option.
I started living with my husband and after 7-8 months he
brought back his first wife too. Now, my husband, his first wife and their 3
sons and myself staty together is a big, joint family.
My husband is rich and we have no financial problems.
The problem is that he does not want me to conceive. He denies giving me
children of my own. He says that he already has 3 sons and there is no need for
family expansion. I desperately want children of my own and he simply does not
want me to discuss this matter with him. We sleep separately everyday and have
sex for just once in a month and then we are back to our separate beds.
I am very desperate, depressed and extremely sad when I
see that his first wife is blissfully happy with 3 sons in the same house as I
am. But I being the second wife I don`t even have a child of my own because my
husband does not want kids from me. I hate to answer people`s queries and feel
pathetic. I try to find solace by reading Hadith, praying 5 times and try as
hard as I may, I simply can`t find peace. I am mentally upset and cry so often
that my husband says that I have some mental problem. Can you please advise me
if this is the right thing on my husband`s part to deny me children of my own?
What is the ruling regarding the Sharia`ah law for such a situation? Can you please
advice and also the du`a where I can find peace of mind.
Allah Hafiz
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Answer:
Husband denies wife
conjugal rights
In the name of Allah,
We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah
guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide
them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah
Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the
seal of His Messengers.
In light of Shariah, indeed it
would be wrong for your husband to deny you your conjugal rights and deprive
you from bearing off-spring.
Under the circumstances you have
related, you have two lawful options:
1.
Accept the condition you are placed in by your
husband and thus save your marriage, and leave the deeds and the decision of your
husband to be Judged by Allah Subhanah on the Day of Judgment.
2.
You would be well within your rights to approach a
Whatever written of
Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever
of error is of me alone. Allah Alone
Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister