Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Is it mentioned in any Hadith that a Muslim woman should also take regard her mother & father –in law as her own parents? And fulfill their requirements as if they were her own parents? And what will be her obligations regarding her own parents?

Wassalam .

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Wife’s relation towards In-laws

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His  forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

The Glorious Quran guides the believers towards their responsibility and duties to their own natural parents. Although nothing specific is mentioned in the Quran regarding the duties and responsibilities of the wife towards her parents-in-law, it would be considered part of righteousness and good character of a believer who fears Allah and the Last Day, that the wife and the husband, both, treat their parents-in-law with utmost respect, kindness, honor and love.

Your Question: And what will be her obligations regarding her own parents?

The responsibility and duty of the man or the woman towards their natural parents do not change in the least because of their marriage status. The believing man and the believing woman, both, have the same duties and responsibilities towards their parents when they were unmarried. It is the command of Allah Subhanah that the believers must ardently honor their parents, be kind to them, be humble to them, love them, and never ever even say an unkind or hurtful word to them, especially when the parents have reached an old age! Their duties towards their parents do not change in the least, regardless of the age or the marriage status of their children.

The husband must give all the rights due to his natural parents, without undermining any of the rights that are due to his wife; and similarly the wife must give all the rights due to her natural parents, without undermining any of the rights that are due to her husband.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat your parents with great kindness; if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

After the rights due to Allah Subhanah, in Islam the biggest rights in all mankind is due to our parents. And after the rights of parents, is the rights of our near relatives, far relatives, muslims, neighbors, etc. In Islam, the law is that one must give all the rights due to each, without effecting the rights of others.

For instance, one cannot take away the right due to our parents, and give them to their wives and children. Neither can he take away the rights of his wives and children and give them to his parents. There should be a proper balance, and a muslim, who indeed fears Allah and the Last Day, should give each party its rights without effecting the rights of the other.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan