My question is that i use to like a girl and i had told about her to my parents. They did not Agree to i.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Asalam
Walakum
My
question is that i use to like a girl and i had told about her to my parents.
They did not Agree to i. I tried to explian them I was working as well as
studying my Mcom final year I also told my parents that You just put a word
that my son likes your daughter and he wants to marry her. Not know after few
years. They did not agree to it also and at that time my wife was getting many
proposal for marriage. So i took a step of going ahead and getting married on
the Sep.17 2006 without my parents nor any one from my side only few friends
from work.After getting my parents aboused me my wife and my IN Laws by saying
all dirty things. By the grace of god it is more than 1 year for my marriage
and i have got a girl. Even after going ahead and getting married my parents
did not accept her nor me.I am currently staying with my In Laws who are really
good. even after getting a girl i went and should my kid to my grany but they
are not ready to accept her too.
By
profession I am an Accountant at the moment I dont know even though i have a
job but i am not satisfied my only intension in life is to walk on the way of
allah and try to get these 2 families together as soon as possible.
I need
your help desperately. I am not in a proper state of mind but I always think
what will happen next but my main intension in life is to get these 2 families
togehter and tie them in a bond of love forever.To send my Parents for haj.
please help me as soon as possible.
waiting
for your reply.
Allahfis
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Answer:
Married without
parents consent
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Dear and beloved brother in Islam, one cannot
over-emphasize the importance and significance of serving and being dutiful to
one’s parents in Islam…… Second only to the heinous and the ultimate
abomination of ‘shirk’ in the Sight of Allah is for an off-spring to be
undutiful to one’s parents!
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:
Your
Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him
Alone! Treat your parents with
great kindness; if either or
both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and
pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them,
just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah
Luqman verse 14:
14 And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain
was his weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy
parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 36:
36 Serve Allah and join not any partners with Him: and do good to
parents kinsfolk orphans those in need neighbors who are near neighbors
who are strangers the companion by your side the way-farer (ye meet) and what
your right hands possess: for Allah loveth not the arrogant the vainglorious;
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated by Abu Umamah
A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws),
what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or
your relation with them will determine) your
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 5120 Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Hayadah
I asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah(saws)! To whom
should I show kindness most?’ He (saws)
replied: ‘Your mother.’ I asked (again):
‘Who next?’. He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother!’.
I asked: ‘Who next?’ He (saws)
replied: ‘Your mother!’ I asked again:
‘Who next?’ and he (saws) replied: ‘Your father, and then your relatives in
order of relationship.’
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4939 Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Jahimah
Jahimah came to the Prophet (saws) and said,
"Messenger of Allah (saws), I desire to go on a military expedition and I
have come to consult you. He (saws)
asked him if he had a mother, and when he replied that he had, he (saws) said,
"Stay with her, for
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.18 Narrated by Aisha
The Prophet (saws) said: "The word 'Ar-Rahm' (womb) derives its
name from 'Ar-Rahman' (i.e. Allah). So
whosoever keeps good relations with it (womb i.e. kith and kin), Allah will
keep good relations with him, and whosoever will sever it (i.e. severs his
bonds of kith and kin) Allah too will sever His relations with him!"
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821 Narrated by Anas
The Prophet (saws) was asked about the
‘Kabair’ (the absolute gravest sins in the Sight of Allah). He (saws) replied:
"They are:--
To join others in worship with Allah,
To be undutiful to one's parents,
To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden
to kill) (i.e. to commit the crime of murder),
And to give a false witness."
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.290 Narrated by Abu Bakra
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Shall I
inform you of the biggest of the Great Sins?" They said, "Yes, O
Allah's Messenger (saws)!" He (saws) said, "To join partners in
worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one's parents."
Respected brother, if in your past you have done something
to ignite the wrath and anger of your parents….and believe you me, marrying a
woman against their will is a ‘big’ something!....if you have done something in
the past to ignite the wrath and anger of your parents, you should now do
whatever it takes to pacify their anger, and with ultimate humility, and
kindness, and tenderness, and above all patience you should approach them and
seek their sincere forgiveness and understanding, if indeed you believe in
Allah and the Last Day, and wish to have any chance of gaining entry into the
eternal Gardens of Paradise in the Hereafter!
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941 Narrated by Abu Umamah
A man said, "O Messenger of Allah
(saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?" He (saws) replied, "They are (or
your relation with them will determine) your
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3655 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "There
are three people to whom Allah has forbidden
Thus brother, if you have approached them once, and the
pain and the anger and the dishonor that you have brought upon them caused them
to rebuke and revile you….with utter and absolute humility and kindness and
tenderness, approach them again, and again, and again, and again….keep on
approaching them until you get their forgiveness. If the intense pain and the anger your act
has caused them instigate them to abuse and revile you, accept whatever they
say and whatever they do with utter and absolute patience. Even after a lifetime of approaching them and
seeking their forgiveness, if they chose not to forgive you, it does not
matter….for then at least you have an excuse in the Presence of your Lord that
you strove your absolute utmost in seeking their forgiveness. Maybe, just maybe, Allah Subhanah might turn
towards you in Mercy and accept your repentance.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister