Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

what dose islam says when some parent give importants to only one chid and ignore other. and in ur pakistani culture inlaws dont give their daughter in law much things but give lots of things to their daughter. i mean to say is jewelrys in marriage.isnt this unfairs for daughter in law dont they treat daughter and daughter in law equal , after all they are living all there lifes with them...

is it fair to not to treat daughter in law equaly.. 

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Answer:

Daughter and daughter in law

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: ….what dose islam says when some parent give importants to only one chid and ignore other.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.818 Narrated by An Numan bin Bashir

My mother asked my father to present me a gift from his property; and he gave it to me after some hesitation. My mother said that she would not be satisfied unless the Prophet (saws) was made a witness to it. I being a young boy, my father held me by the hand and took me to the Prophet (saws). He said to the Prophet, "His mother, bint Rawaha, requested me to give this boy a gift, but she ordered me to make you, O Messenger of Allah (saws) as a witness to it." The Prophet (saws) said, "Do you have other children besides him?" He said, "Yes." The Prophet said, "Do not make me a witness for injustice." And in another narration on the same incident the Prophet (saws) said: 'Be afraid of Allah, and be just to your children.'

Islam guides the parents to be just between their children; and if some parents give more importance or more gifts to one amongst their child and ignore the others, they would indeed be guilty of injustice in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

Your Question: ……and in ur pakistani culture inlaws dont give their daughter in law much things but give lots of things to their daughter. i mean to say is jewelrys in marriage.isnt this unfairs for daughter in law dont they treat daughter and daughter in law equal , after all they are living all there lifes with them...

As much as one’s daughter in law might happen to live amongst them, the parents-in-law are not obliged in Shariah to show absolute equality between their own daughters and their daughter in law.

If the parents of a daughter wish to give her more gifts or jewelry or attention to their own daughter in comparison to their son’s wife (or daughter in law), they are indeed well within their rights to do so…..for one’s own daughters and one’s son’s wife (or daughter in law) are not regarded as equal in Shariah Law.

The daughter-in-law should expect such preferential treatment from her own biological parents; and it would neither be right, nor just, nor fair for the daughter-in-law to expect that her husband’s parents treat her or give her the exact same gifts or treatment as they do to their own daughter.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan