Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Is it OK for a man to say to his wife that he is going to divorce her 3 times wide different occasion during a time of 1 year and every time he takes her back. All the time he says how much he loves her and that she is very important for him. The wife loves him very, very much.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Intention to divorce

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

If the husband merely says or declares that ‘I am GOING to divorce you’ unto his wife, absolutely regardless of how many times the husband may say such a thing, it is merely an utterance from his mouth for an ‘intention’ to divorce does not constitute a legal declaration of divorce in the Sight of Shariah Law and of Allah Subhanah.

But if the husband were to say to his wife words to the effect of ‘I divorce you’…..absolutely regardless of whether the husband uttered this declaration in anger or in jest, it would constitute a legal declaration of divorce between the couple in their marriage.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2189 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘There are three things which, whether undertaken seriously or in jest, are treated as serious: Marriage, divorce and taking back a wife (after a divorce which is not final).’

If the husband were to merely say to his wife ‘‘I am GOING to divorce you’, absolutely regardless of how many times the husband were to utter such a statement, it would not effect the validity of their marriage. But if the husband were to declare unto his wife words to the effect of ‘I divorce you’….then indeed a legal divorce would be established between the couple in the Sight of Shariah Law and of Allah Subhanah.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 229-230:

229 A divorce is only permissible twice: after that the parties should either hold together on equitable terms or separate with kindness. It is not lawful for you (men) to take back any of your gifts (from your wives) except when both parties fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah. If ye (judges) do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom. These are the limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them. If any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah such persons wrong (themselves as well as others).

230 So if a husband divorces his wife (irrevocably or third time) he cannot after that remarry her until after she has married another husband and he has divorced her. In that case there is no blame on either of them if they reunite provided they feel that they can keep the limits ordained by Allah. Such are the limits ordained by Allah which He makes plain to those who understand.

To protect the rights of the women, Shariah Law dictates that the husband can declare divorce unto his wife and revoke it only twice in any one marriage; if Allah forbid, the husband were to declare divorce for a third time, that would constitute and absolutely irrevocable divorce and the couple can never marry each other again unless the wife happens to marry another husband, and the new husband, of his own will happens to divorce her, or he dies.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan