A pakistani friend of my, age 25 is studying at a university and is friends with a Afghani boy, 27 years old.
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
(May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
As-salaam-alaikum.
First of all, I would like to thank you to give us an opportunity to clarify
our doubts. I request, you to not mention my name as this is specially for a
friend and I would not like to disclose this matter.
A pakistani friend of my, age 25 is studying at a university and is friends
with a Afghani boy, 27 years old. While being friends they have developed a
good relation and want to get married. However, the Afghani boy has a wife and
2 kids in
Is this allowed in Islam. My friend is confused because he already has a wife
and kids who he would need to leave before getting married. However the boy
also says that he would divorce his wife, regardless of the fact whether my
friend marries him or not. My friend has known him for over 10 months now and we
don`t have any way to verify what he says, except trust him.
Could you kindly help me with this. Also what sort of duties are there for both
the girl and guy in this matter. Is this allowed in Islam. Can they get
married. Whats needs to be done next. I can give you more detail if you would
like. I read the Istikhara note from you and was forwarding to my friend to
perform it. But it mentions that you only ask for Allahs guidance if what you
are sking for is allowed. hence I thought to ask you to help me in this matter.
Thanks & Regards.
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Answer:
Second marriage for
edit
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His
help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide,
and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear
witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear
witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His
Messengers.
Your
Question: …..He says that he hardly ever talks to his wife though he`s in touch
with his kids.
Absolutely regardless
of the reasons he chose to marry the woman, as long as he is married to her, he
is duty bound in Shariah, if indeed he fears Allah and the Last Day, to fulfill
all his duties, responsibilities, and rights that are due unto his wife.
If he does not like the woman he chose and agreed to
marry, he is well within his rights to free her from the sacred bond of
marriage through divorce; but as long as he is married to her, he is duty bound
and responsible to give her all her rights in marriage. If Allah forbid, the person does not fulfill
his responsibilities, and unjustly usurps the lawful rights of his wife in
marriage, he will be held severely accountable in the Court of Allah Subhanah
for his oppression and his injustice towards his lawfully wedded wife.
Your
Question: ….However the boy also says that he would divorce his wife,
regardless of the fact whether my friend marries him or not.
That is a decision which the man has to make himself; but
your friend should fear Allah her Lord, and in absolutely no way ask, request,
demand, or even imply or make it a condition that the man she wishes to marry
should or must divorce his first wife….that indeed would be a grave sin your
friend would take upon herself.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.598 Narrated by Abu Huraira
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "No woman
should ask for the divorce of her sister (Muslim) so as to take her place, but
she should marry the man (without compelling him to divorce his other wife),
for she will have nothing but what Allah has written for her."
Your Question: ….My
friend has known him for over 10 months now and we don`t have any way to verify
what he says, except trust him.
Dear and beloved
Sister, the sacred bond marriage in Islam is not a game, or a past-time, or
sport, or play….but it is a serious and lifelong commitment which two believers
make under the guidance of Allah Subhanah!
As much as one may trust someone, when it comes to
marriage, it would only be prudent and wise to thoroughly check and confirm the
important information supplied by the suitor so that no ‘surprises’ turn up
after one has agreed to the marriage!
That is precisely why Allah Subhanah has Guided and Commanded the
believers that the approval and consent of the parents/guardians of the bride
be sought before a marriage, because they being the absolute well-wishers of
the bride will ask the necessary questions and verify all the information
provided before they agree to give the hand of their beloved daughter to
someone in marriage.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3137 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A woman
may not give a woman in marriage, nor may she give herself in marriage, for
verily it is the immoral woman who gives herself in marriage!"
Your
Question: Also what sort of duties are there for both the girl and guy in this
matter. Is this allowed in Islam. Can they get married. Whats needs to be done
next.
First and foremost, it is the duty of both, the man as
well as the woman, to fear Allah their Lord and stay within the prescribed
boundaries of their Lord.
It is entirely upto the man to decide whether he wishes to
honor his first marriage, or divorce his wife.
If he so wishes and decides to divorce his first wife and marry your
friend, that is permissible; and if he so wishes and decides to honor his first
marriage and seek to honorably marry your friend as his second wife, provided
he does justice between his wives, there is allowance for a believer in Shariah
to marry and keep upto a maximum of four wives at any one time.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only
due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me
alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is
the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and
well wisher in Islam,
Burhan
Wister