Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

dear bro,
assalaam alai kum.
i am very confused about my situation so i here by ask ur help from the light of quran n sunnah to guide me.my husband has a friend who he knew from long time she is a non muslim and he says she is a very good friendn he talks alot with her there had been many clashes between two of us regarding this and i have begged him also to break this friendship but he tells me i dont see anything wrong so i wont.i tried to have sabr n bear it but i cannot it makes me feel worse that why my hubby cannot leave that lady
in past we had clashes as normal people do have .i never came to know that he had such a good friend until i discovred he tells me its ur fault u did not much care about me i admit it n have ask forgiveness also but he still wants to keep this friendship which is disturbing me alot thereby i feel like stop loving my husband we have two daughters n for their sake i want to keep this relationship with him but to cease loving him am i wrong in my approach.he keeps me welln gives me everything but i cannot come out of this jealousyy 

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Answer:

Injustice to wife

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5:

5 ….. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verse 33:

33 Say (O Prophet (saws)): ‘The things that my Lord hath indeed (absolutely) forbidden (declared ‘haraam’) are: ‘fahisha’ (shameful deeds) whether open or secret; sins and trespasses against truth or reason; assigning of partners to Allah for which He hath given no authority; and saying things about Allah of which ye have no knowledge.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3118 Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab

The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a (non-mehram)woman, the Shaytaan makes the third."

Islam absolutely prohibits and categorically forbids the believers from forming a secret or lewd relationship or meeting with a non-mehram woman in private, leave alone having a ‘girlfriend’! Allah is our witness, such a bond or relationship with a non-mehram woman out of marriage would be absolutely unlawful and a grave sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:

Do not even go near ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4886 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik

That he heard the Messenger of Allah (saws) say: ‘The eye commits ‘zina’, and the palm of the hand, the foot, the body, the tongue and private part of the body confirm it or deny it.’

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.260 Narrated by Ibn Abbas

I have not seen a thing resembling 'lamam' (minor sins) than what Abu Huraira narrated from the Prophet (saws) who said "Allah has written for the children of Adan their share of ‘zina’ which he commits inevitably. The ‘zina’ of the eyes is the sight (to gaze at a forbidden thing), the ‘zina’ of the tongue is the talk, and the inner self wishes and desires and the private parts testify all this or deny it."

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 36 Surah Ya-Seen verse 65:

65 That Day shall We set a seal on their mouths. But their hands will speak to Us and their feet bear witness to all that they did.

Dear and beloved Sister, if your husband insists on forming and maintaining an unlawful bond or relationship with a non-mehram woman, he would indeed be involved in a manifest transgression of the Laws and Boundaries of Allah Subhanah; and if he does not desist, and does not repent for his manifest transgression, he shall be held severely accountable in the Majestic Presence of the Lord Most High on that Inevitable Day of Judgment for his transgression.

Your Qeustion: ……thereby i feel like stop loving my husband we have two daughters n for their sake i want to keep this relationship with him but to cease loving him am i wrong in my approach.he keeps me welln gives me everything but i cannot come out of this jealousyy 

Dear and beloved Sister, your despise of the unlawful relationship your husband insists on maintaining with a non-mehram woman is not unfounded; and as much as your husband is guilty of transgression and the betrayal and transgression of your rights….know with absolute conviction that, if he does not desist and seek sincere forgiveness for his manifest transgression, he will have his due accounting in the Presence of the Lord Most High in the Hereafter.

But beloved sister, Islam guides that just because one party does not fulfill their rights, it does not give the other party the right to withhold or usurp the lawful rights that are due to the first party! Thus as a believing woman who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day, as long as you choose to remain united with your husband in the sacred bond of marriage, you are obligated by Shariah Law to fear Allah and fulfill every single right that is due from a righteous wife unto her husband…..regardless of whether or not your husband renders all your lawful rights unto you. If Allah forbid, you were to withhold the lawful rights that are due from a righteous wife unto her husband in the sacred bond of marriage, then you too would be in transgression of the Laws and Boundaries of Allah Subhanah and will have to account in the Lord’s Majestic Presence for your transgression.

Thus sister, under the said conditions that your husband is just not willing to desist from his unlawful relationship with the non-mehram woman, your lawful options in Shariah are:

1. You bring yourself to overlook this manifest transgression of your husband, bear this utter and absolute injustice and oppression with patience, making absolutely sure that you fear Allah and fulfill every lawful right that is due to your husband, seeking your reward only from Allah Subhanah….and thus seek to save your marriage.
2. If you cannot bring yourself to overlook and bear the situation in your marriage, you are well within your rights in Islam to initiate a divorce proceedings against your husband, and there would be absolutely no blame or sin upon you.

Beloved Sister, we reiterate again, that just because your husband chooses not to fulfill the lawful rights that are due unto you in the sacred bond of marriage….Islam does not give you the right to usurp the lawful rights that are due unto him. You, as a pious and righteous believer should fear Allah your Lord, and make sure that every single right that is due unto your husband in marriage is accorded to him in full. If you can bring yourself to do that, Allah is our witness sister, not only will you get the full retribution of all the injustice and oppression done towards you by your husband in the Presence of your Lord Most Supreme, but your Lord Most Gracious will reward you abundantly for your obedience to His Laws and your patience in the Hereafter.

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan