Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dearest Brother Burhan,

I am going to marriage after 2 months. So can you explain me about intercourse.

can i intercourse from bothsides. After intercourse should i take bath before second time intercourse.

After marriage can i stay away from her abroad or must be bring her with me abroad.

Their is any ristriction in our islam, should i stay with her after marriage or can i stay alone for a year.

Thanks for your information

Your well wisher. 

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Answer:

Sex and travel

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: I am going to marriage after 2 months. So can you explain me about intercourse.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 223:

223 Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth (for sexual intercourse) when or how ye will.

Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: ‘The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your wife."’ The companions asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded."

Related by Ahmad and Muslim.

Islam has allowed the husband and the wife in marriage every possible liberty to enjoy conjugal relations with each other, except three:

1. It is strictly prohibited to have sexual intercourse with one’s wife during her period of menstruation.
2. It is strictly prohibited to enter the woman through her anus.
3. Although there is no specific prohibition mentioned in the Quran and Sunnah, the majority of the scholars in Islam have voiced their opinion against ‘oral’ sex, whereby one touches the other’s private organs with their mouth.

Other than the above three restrictions, one may enjoy conjugal relations with one’s wife any place, any time, and any how their heart’s desire.

Your Question: can i intercourse from bothsides.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 222:

222 They ask thee concerning women's courses (menses). Say: ‘They are a hurt and a pollution; so keep away from women in their courses and do not approach (for sexual intercourse) them until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves ye may approach them in any manner time or place ordained for you by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2157 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘He who has intercourse with his wife through her anus is accursed.’

Dear and beloved brother in Islam, the above hadith is indeed considered absolutely authentic by the scholars and jurists in Islam.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3192 Narrated by Khuzaymah ibn Thabit

The Prophet (saws) said, "Allah is not ashamed of the Truth! Do not have intercourse with women through the anus."

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3195 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Abbas

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah will not look at a man who has intercourse with a man or a woman through the anus."

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 3895 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If anyone resorts to a diviner and believes in what he says or has intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating, or has intercourse with his wife through her anus: he has nothing to do with what has been sent down to Muhammad (saws)!’

Allah and His Messenger (saws) have specified as absolutely unlawful and prohibited for a believer who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day to enjoy conjugal relations with his wife through the anus.

The abominable and repulsive act of anal sex is unnatural, unhealthy, unhygienic, unclean and impure; and this abomination of an act is not found even in any of the lower animate creations!

Your Question: After intercourse should i take bath before second time intercourse.

Although it is highly recommended that one purify oneself immediately after sexual intercourse, there is evidence and allowance in the Sunnah if one wishes to sleep, eat, or drink or do other chores before purifying oneself, one must at least do the ‘wudu’ or ablution.

If one does not perform the ghusl immediately after sex for any reason, it would be better and purer to perform the wudu (ablution) and go about ones chores or duties, and perform the ghusl later when one intends to pray or recite the Quran.

Sahih Muslim Hadith 603 Narrated by Aisha

Abdullah ibn AbdulQays said, "I asked Aisha about the Witr (prayer) of the Messenger of Allah (saws) and made mention of a hadith, then I said: ‘What did he (saws) do after having sexual intercourse? Did he take a bath before going to sleep or did he sleep before taking a bath?’ She said: ‘He (saws) did all these. Sometimes he (saws) took a bath and then slept, and sometimes he (saws) performed ablution only and went to sleep.’ I (the narrator) said: ‘Praise be to Allah Who has made things easy (for the believers in the deen).’

If one is in the state of major sexual impurity and wishes to do anything else other than offer their prayers or recite the Glorious Quran, one is not required or obligated to perform the ‘ghusl’ or full bath of purification…..but the performance of a ‘wudu’ or ablution would more than suffice. It is only if one intends to offer their prayers or recite the Glorious Quran that one would need to purify themselves from their state of major sexual impurity by performing a ‘ghusl’.

If one intends to repeat intercourse with one’s wife, one need not perform the ‘ghusl’ between the intercourses, but one should perform an ablution after each intercourse…..and perform the ‘ghusl’ when they intend to offer their prayers or recite the Quran.

Abu Saeed reported that the Prophet (saws) said, "If one has intercourse with his wife and wants to repeat the act, he should perform ablution." (Related by Muslim) Ibn Khuzaimah, Ibn Hibban and al-Hakim recorded the same hadith with the addition, "It makes the return more vivacious."

Your Question: After marriage can i stay away from her abroad or must be bring her with me abroad. Their is any ristriction in our islam, should i stay with her after marriage or can i stay alone for a year.

Provided both parties, the husband and the wife in the sacred bond of marriage mutually consent and agree that that one amongst them needs to travel abroad (or for any other genuine reason) they might need to live apart from each other, there is absolutely no restriction in Shariah to their mutual agreement. There is absolutely no obligation in Shariah that the husband and the wife have to live or travel together after marriage, or that they cannot mutually agree to live apart from each other due to a genuine reason.

Beloved brother in Islam, provided your wife consents, you are at absolute liberty in Islam to stay alone and away from your wife due to travel abroad if you so wish, or take her abroad to live with you if you so please.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan