Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

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One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear brother,

Aslam aliqum,

I just wana ask one question regarding limits in Islam between a husband and a wife.

If two people already commit that they will marry with each other and also they are engaged so what are there limits before and after the marriage in Islam.

Thank u

Ur brother

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Answer:

Limit after engagement and marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: If two people already commit that they will marry with each other and also they are engaged so what are there limits before and after the marriage in Islam.

Dear and Beloved Brother in Islam, an ‘engagement’ between a man and a woman to marry has absolutely no legal basis or standing in Shariah, and the man and the woman will be considered non-mehrams to each other until their actual ‘nikaah’ is performed.

Unless and until their ‘nikaah’ is performed, all the restrictions and limitations and commandments that are prescribed in the Quran and Sunnah between two non-mehram members of the opposite sex must be honored and followed by those who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day.

Islam has permitted the believing man and the believing woman who wish to marry each other to meet and talk before they marry, if they wish to do so; with the absolutely obligatory condition that the woman be accompanied by her mehram relative (her father, or her uncle, or her adult brother, etc.)

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3118 Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab

The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a (non-mehram) woman, the Shaytaan makes the third."

It would be absolutely impermissible for a believing man and a non-mehram believing woman who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day to casually meet or talk in private alone before their marriage, either physically or through medium of phones, internet, sms, etc.

A better, purer, lasting and absolutely lawful solution between two people who are ‘engaged’ to marry, and cannot or do not wish for any reason to marry and live with each other immediately, or wish to delay their marriage for any reason whatsoever….but wish to lawfully meet, talk, and ‘date’ each other is to convince their parents to perform the legal ‘nikaah’ between them now, and solemnize the actual marriage at a later convenient date. This way the boy and the girl are legally married in the Sight of Shariah, and everything that would be lawful to a couple in marriage would be lawful to them….and thus they can lawfully meet, talk, and associate with each other to their heart’s content without any restrictions whatsoever.

Your Question: I just wana ask one question regarding limits in Islam between a husband and a wife.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 223:

223 Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will.

Abu Dhar al-Ghafari reported: ‘The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “there is a reward for you [even] in sex with your wife."’ The companions asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah (saws) is there a reward if one satisfies his passion?" He (saws) said: "Do you know that if he satisfies it unlawfully he has taken a sin upon himself? Likewise, if he satisfies it lawfully, he is rewarded."

Related by Ahmad and Muslim.

Islam has allowed the husband and the wife in the sacred bond of marriage every possible liberty to enjoy conjugal relations with each other, except three:

1. It is strictly prohibited to have sexual intercourse with one’s wife during her period of menstruation.
2. It is strictly prohibited to enter the woman through her anus.
3. Although there is no specific prohibition mentioned in the Quran and Sunnah, the majority of the scholars in Islam have voiced their opinion against ‘oral’ sex, whereby one touches the other’s private organs with their mouth.

Other than the above three restrictions, one may enjoy conjugal relations with one’s wife any place, any time, and any how their heart’s desire.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan