Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salam

my questions :

1: are females created for fulfilling the needs , shehwaaat and desires of men?

2:when a married man sees his wife doing Zinaa, he has right of Liyaaan, but if a female sees her husband doing zinaa, what right she gets? she just keep her mouth shut and let her husband do whatever he wants?

3: baahmi mushaawart in ijtemaai amoor is very important in deen islam, and Nikaah is a strong life time contract between a male and a female and is an ijtemaai maamla, wen a man wants to marry a 2nd woman, doens`t the first wife have any right just to know that her husband is bringing a new wife in his life? as this is gonna effect the routine and schedule of first wife? but many men marry 2nd wives without the knowledge os first one, how far it is right?

please give satisfactory answers in light of Quran and Sunnah, jazakallah

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Why created women

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: are females created for fulfilling the needs , shehwaaat and desires of men?

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 51 Surah Dhariyat verse 56:

I (Allah) have not created the jinn and the humans (men and women) except for this that they should worship Me Alone.

Allah says in the Holy Quran in Chapter 67 Surah Al Mulk verse 2:

He (Allah) created death and life that He may test you, to see which of you is the best in deeds.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 1:

1 O mankind! reverence your Guardian-Lord Who created you from a single person created of like nature his mate and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women; reverence Allah through Whom ye demand your mutual (rights) and (reverence) the wombs (that bore you): for Allah ever watches over you.

Dear and beloved Sister, the only reason The All-Wise, All-Mighty Lord Created death and all types of life is so that he may put the two beings (Jinns and Humans) who have been bestowed with ‘intelligence’ and a ‘will’ to a test for a limited period of one life….to see and determine who amongst them does the best of deeds.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 36 Surah Yaa-Seen verse 36:

36 Glory be to Allah Who created in pairs all things that the earth produces as well as their own (human) kind and (other) things of which they have no knowledge.

Not only did the Lord Most Majestic create all things, but in His Supreme and Absolute Wisdom He created all things in ‘pairs’; and based on His Wisdom and His Will, the Lord Most Wise paired the creation of man with the woman.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 16 Surah Nahl verse 72:

72 And Allah has made for you mates of your own nature. And made for you out of them sons and daughters and grandchildren and provided for you sustenance of the best: will they then believe in vain things and be ungrateful for Allah's favors?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rome verses 20-21:

20 Among His Signs is this that He created you from dust; and then behold ye are men scattered (far and wide)!

21 And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 64 Surah Taghabun verses 14-15:

14 O ye who believe! Truly among your wives and your children are (some that are) enemies to yourselves: so beware of them! But if ye forgive and overlook and cover up (their faults) verily Allah is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful.

15 Your riches and your children may be but a trial: but in the Presence of Allah is the Highest Reward.

One amongst Allah’s Signs is that He Willed to make the creation of men a trial for the women, and the creation of women a trial for the men; and so that the two of them may dwell with each other in tranquility; and so that the continuity of the human race is programmed to continue only if the man and the woman commit to an union.

Whatever the reasons one might have to hold a grudge or complaint against the behavior of some men in creation, it would be absolutely unfair and unjust to accuse the Lord Most Wise for creating women only ‘for fulfilling the needs , shehwaaat and desires of men?’

Your Question: when a married man sees his wife doing Zinaa, he has right of Liyaaan, but if a female sees her husband doing zinaa, what right she gets? she just keep her mouth shut and let her husband do whatever he wants?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor verses 6-10:

6 And for those who launch a charge against their spouses and have (in support) no evidence but their own their solitary evidence (can be received) if they bear witness four times (with an oath) by Allah that they are solemnly telling the truth;

7 And the fifth (oath) (should be) that they solemnly invoke the curse of Allah on themselves if they tell a lie.

8 But it would avert the punishment from the wife if she bears witness four times (with an oath) by Allah that (her husband) is telling a lie;

9 And the fifth (oath) should be that she solemnly invokes the wrath of Allah on herself if (her accuser) is telling the truth.

10 If it were not for Allah's grace and mercy on you and that Allah is Oft-Returning Full of Wisdom (ye would be ruined indeed).

Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, it is not true that men alone have the sole right to institute or initiate the ‘law of Lian’ if they suspect their wife of being immoral…..the scholars in Islam are absolutely unanimous in their opinion that both the man who suspects his wife of being immoral, and the woman who suspects her husband of being immoral, have the right to initiate the proceedings of ‘Lian’ against their spouse in a Shariah Court of Law.

Besides ‘Lian’, both the man and the woman have a right to initiate a divorce proceeding against their spouse if indeed they are absolutely convinced that their partner is engaged in immoral behavior; thus it would not be fair and just to claim that….. she just keep her mouth shut and let her husband do whatever he wants?....for that then would imply that the Laws of Allah Subhanah in Islam are based on injustice and discrimination whereas the Truth is that every single Law and Command of Allah Subhanah is based on His Absolute Knowledge and His Wisdom, and His Grace and His Mercy towards His creation.

Your Question:……but many men marry 2nd wives without the knowledge os first one, how far it is right?

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 3:

And if you be apprehensive that you will not be able to do justice to the orphans, you may marry two, or three, or four women whom you choose. But if you apprehend that you might not be able to do justice to them, then marry only one wife; or marry those women who have fallen in your possession. This will be the better course to avoid injustice.

Allah Subhanah, Who created everything in existence and bestowed on each its nature, Knows best the weaknesses and inclinations and the nature of each in His creation. Because in its inherent nature man has been created polygamous, when one amongst them who is already married chooses to exercise his option and decides to marry again, there is very little one can do to change his mind. Thus the man who has absolutely made up his mind and desires another woman in addition to his wife, he is left with three basic options:

1. Form an illicit and secret unlawful relationship with the other woman,
2. Divorce and leave the first wife and marry the other, or
3. Keep the first wife, and marry the other as his second wife.

There is absolutely no stipulation, condition, or restriction in Shariah that a believer who is already married and wishes to take on a second wife, to seek or have the prior permission of the first wife. The one and only condition Islam lays upon the believer who wishes to exercise his lawful option of practicing polygamy, is to make sure that he does justice amongst his wives with his allocation of time and resources towards them.

The taking of a second wife might indeed effect more than only the (as you have quoted) ‘routine and schedule of first wife’…..but in the Sight and Wisdom of The All-Wise All-Knowing Creator the honor, protection, and benefits a lawful marriage provides the ‘other’ woman or second wife far outweighs the loss of ‘routine and schedule’ of the first wife!!!

For some unknown reason one attention always turns towards the plight of the first wife whenever a believer wishes to exercise the right to marry a second time! What about the rights of that woman, who obviously has agreed to become the second wife? One never seems to ask why exactly did this woman accept to become someone’s second wife???

It is only obvious and natural that every woman wants or wishes to have the sole attention of her husband? So why exactly would a woman agree to be someone’s second wife? If the second wife could be the first wife of any man, she obviously would not give preference to become the second wife, would she????

Maybe she is aged? Maybe she is not beautiful? Maybe she is a divorcee and could not find a bachelor to marry her? Maybe she is a divorcee with small and infant children with no one to support her? Maybe she is a widow? Or a widow with small children and no support?

So what should the society do with such women who cannot find a bachelor to marry them? Leave them (and their children) to fend for themselves??? Or should a society have ‘Christian’ laws where divorce is not permissible or an option in marriage?? Or should a society have ‘Hindu’ or pagan laws where the widow should be shunned at best, or at worst burned alive on the pyre with her deceased husband’s body???

It may be that one who is the ‘first’ wife today and absolutely objects and challenges the concept of ‘second’ marriages, tomorrow finds herself in a situation where she is divorced or widowed, and unable to find a bachelor to marry her, seeks to compromise and become the ‘second’ wife of a righteous God-fearing man who would honor her by marrying her and providing for her and her children!

No woman wishes to choose or become a ‘second’ wife by choice or desire….but under the situations, conditions, and circumstances she finds herself in, she sees this option as the most honorable for her and her children.

Respected Sister, sometimes when one puts ones feet in another’s shoes, one might be able to see the wisdom and realities that may not be evident from afar…..The Laws of Allah Subhanah are based on His Perfect Wisdom and Absolute Knowledge, and they provide a just and honorable solution for every situation and condition of life.

Just as parents have been bestowed with the nature and the capacity to love more than one child at any one time, the nature The All-Knowing, All-Wise Lord has bestowed upon the man is that he has the capacity to love more than one wife. Thus if one amongst the believers has made up his mind to marry for a second time, he only has two lawful options:

1. Divorce and leave the first wife, and marry the other, or
2. Keep the first wife, and marry the other as his second wife; and be just amongst his wives.

In our humble opinion, although both options are lawful, the second option is definitely more beneficial for all parties concerned.

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan