Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

A Husband who willingly leaves her wife to talk to a non mehram man or persons who is not having a good charachter and the husband knows about it what is the punishment for him and the wife by Allah Subhana

and another question is there is a man who uses his wife for his promotion in the job how are they both treated by Allah subhana and this she hide from her family coz she thinks that this will be a disrespect to her husband

Is it necessary for a woman to get married---what kind of man should we look for getting a woman married from islam point of veiw whar qualities we should find in him

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Geerah self-respect

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: A Husband who willingly leaves her wife to talk to a non mehram man or persons who is not having a good charachter and the husband knows about it what is the punishment for him and the wife by Allah Subhana

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor verses 4-5:

4 And those who launch a charge (accusation) against chaste women (regarding their chastity) and produce not four witnesses (to support their accusation); flog them with eighty stripes: and reject their evidence ever after: for such men are wicked transgressors

5 Unless they repent thereafter and mend (their conduct): for Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Dear and beloved sister, at the outset we wish to clarify that one who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day must be extremely careful and absolutely sure before one points a finger or raises suspicion against the chastity of a believer. Such is the enormity of the sin to accuse a chaste woman regarding her chastity without absolute concrete proof, that not only has the Lord Most High prescribed a severe punishment in the world and the Hereafter against the accuser who accuses without absolutely concrete evidence, but the Messenger of Allah (saws) included this sin amongst the seven most heinous and grave sins in the Sight of Allah Subhanah!

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.28 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet said, "Avoid the seven Great Destructive Sins." The people enquire, "O Allah's Messenger (saws)! What are they? " He (saws) said:

1. "To join others in worship along with Allah,
2. to practice sorcery,
3. to kill the life which Allah has forbidden except for a just cause, (according to Islamic law),
4. to eat up riba (usury),
5. to eat up an orphan's wealth,
6. to give back to the enemy and fleeing from the battlefield at the time of fighting,
7. and to accuse chaste women, who never even think of anything touching chastity and are good believers.”

Your Question: A Husband who willingly leaves her wife to talk to a non mehram man or persons who is not having a good charachter and the husband knows about it what is the punishment for him and the wife by Allah Subhana

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.829 Narrated by Al Mughira

Sa'd bin Ubada said, "If I found a man with my wife, I would kill him with the sharp side of my sword." When the Prophet (saws) heard that he (saws) said, "Do you wonder at Sa'd's sense of ‘ghira’ (self-respect)? Verily, I have more sense of ‘ghira’ than Sa'd, and Allah has more sense of ‘ghira’ than I."

A husband who allows, permits, or accepts to leave his wife to casually interact or entertain non-mehram men, in truth has a depleted or no sense of ‘ghira’ or self-respect and dignity.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 5.29 Narrated by Abu Huraira

While we were with Allah's Messenger (saws) he said, "While I was sleeping, I saw myself (in the dream) in Paradise, and suddenly I saw a woman performing ablution beside a palace. I asked, 'For whom is this palace?' The Angels replied, 'It is for Umar (ibn Khattab (r.a.).' Then I remembered Umar's ‘Ghira’ (self-respect) and went away quickly." Umar (r.a.) wept profoundly and said, "O Allah's Messenger (saws)! May my father and my mother be sacrificed for you! How dare I think of my ‘ghira’ being offended by you?"

Even if her husband were to allow it, not only should the believing wife who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day honor and respect her modesty and her honor by not associating unnecessarily and casually with non-mehram men; but the non-mehram believing men should fear their Lord, and respect the ‘ghira’ of their brother who has married the woman; and abstain from any sort of casual association with their brother’s wife.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.150 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "Allah has a sense of ‘Ghira’, and Allah's sense of ‘Ghira’ is provoked when a believer does something which Allah has prohibited."

The husbands who permit, allow, and accept that their wife associate unnecessarily with non-mehram men; the wife who dishonors her honor and modesty and associates unnecessarily with non-mehram men; and the non-mehram men who associate casually and without absolute genuine need with the wives of other men are all guilty of transgression of the clear Commands of Allah, and will have a severe accounting in the Presence of their Majestic Lord on an Inevitable and Tumultuous Day!

Your Question: and another question is there is a man who uses his wife for his promotion in the job how are they both treated by Allah subhana and this she hide from her family coz she thinks that this will be a disrespect to her husband

Beloved sister in Islam, Allah forbid that your statement implies to a husband who ‘uses’ or forces his wife to do favors of a sexual nature to others to gain a paltry benefit for himself in this world!!!!

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3655 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "There are three people to whom Allah has forbidden Paradise: one who is addicted to wine, an undutiful son, and a husband who agrees to his womenfolk's adultery."

In light of the above guidance of the Messenger of Allah (saws), if the husband or cuckold who agrees and consents to his womenfolk’s adultery dies in a state where he has not sought the sincere forgiveness of Allah Subhanah for his heinous sin, he will be forbidden Paradise by the Lord Most High, Most Majestic!

The wife, if she willingly agreed to her husband’s request or demand to perform sexual favors to others and dies in a state where she did not seek repentance for her abomination, will indeed have an extremely severe accounting in her Lord’s Presence in the Hereafter. But if the wife was forced by her husband to commit adultery, and it was beyond her power and ability to stop the abuse of her chastity, then she obviously will be blameless in the Court of Allah Subhanah.

Your Question: Is it necessary for a woman to get married

Marriage (for men or women) in Islam is not obligatory, but rather a ‘mustahab’ or preferred and absolutely encouraged Sunnah; thus if one chooses to marry and fulfills the rights of marriage, one will have his/her due rewards from Allah Subhanah; and if one chooses not to marry, there is no sin upon the person.

But if one, regardless of whether man or woman, fears that they will not be able to maintain and protect their chastity, then the majority of the scholars are of the opinion that it would become ‘wajib’ or obligatory upon such a person to marry. But if one is able to control one’s natural physical desires, and chooses not to marry, that is an individual decision and there is no harm and no sin.

Your Question: what kind of man should we look for getting a woman married from islam point of veiw whar qualities we should find in him

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3090 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on earth and extensive corruption.'

Looks, family background, wealth, position, social status, etc….a woman (or her guardians) may look at or into any number of criteria when seeking a suitor in marriage…..but the Messenger of Allah (saws) guided in Truth that the absolutely biggest weight and consideration a woman (or her guardians) should give when seeking a suitor is the state of the man’s religion and the state of the man’s character and reputation!

If the suitor has all the qualities but lacks in the department of religion and character; one should be extremely careful and abstain from giving their daughter in marriage to such a person. If the suitor is found deficient in some of the other qualities, but one is satisfied with the state and practice of his religion and his character, one should accede and accent to such a good proposal.

Dear and beloved sister in Islam, in light of the guidance of the Quran and the Sunnah, it is absolutely apparent that one who disobeys or rejects any of the obligatory Commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws) will be ruined in this world and the Hereafter. To seek to marry a man with whose state of religion and his character one is satisfied is not an obligatory command of the Propeht (saws), but merely an advice and good suggestion to the believers….but in our humble opinion, if one disregards even the advice of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one will find no peace!

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan