My parents have reached age of 65, I like to take care of them
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa
Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Salam
walaikum
Please
keep my name and email anonymous if you will send email answeres to everyone.
Hello ASAQ,
I read the info about Ishthekara and it cleared few confusions.
Thanks
for that.
I have a few questions if those could be answered
1. Is
there such things as Black Magic and Evils ?
2.Everytime i go out with my family? The next day we have somekind of
arguments or fight? Before i never used to believe in all these things.
But now i see a pattern. Is there such thing call "Nagar" I am not
sure
whats the name in English?
3.My parents have reached age of 65, I like to take care of them and help
them. But my wife does not quite agree with me. She does not like to live
with my parents or do anything for them. Due to financial situation we
cannot seperate my parents. When i am alone with her , she keeps me happy.
I am frustrated with this situation and would like some advice.
I believe its my turn to take care of them now since they really need me.
4. Dua for success in Life.
I would really appreciate if you can advice on the above matters and
recommend some dua`s or solution.
We both read Namaz (at least 3 times a day and follow islam).
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Answer:
Evil eye Nazar and parent wife
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is no one (no idol, no person, no
grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai,
nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your
Question: Is there such things as Black Magic and Evils ?
The Holy Quran
indeed relates the incidents of magic in the story of the Angels Harut and
Marut, and in the various episodes of the encounter between Prophet Musa (a.s.)
and the Pharoah. Thus, In light of the
guidance of the Quran and the Sunnah, there is absolutely no doubt regarding
the existence of ‘sehr’ or magic.
Allah says in the Holy
Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 102:
Although it was obvious
that they could not do any harm to anyone by means of this magic
without Allah’s permission, yet they learnt the art (of magic) which could not
be profitable even for them, but was actually harmful. Moreover, they knew it fully well that,
anyone, who purchased that art (of magic) would have no share in the
Hereafter. What a vile commodity it
was for which they sold off their souls, if they had but known it!
Brother, the thing we, as believers, must understand that
those who claim to do magic or witchcraft do not have the power to hurt or
benefit anyone, without the permission of Allah Subhanah. No harm and no benefit can happen to the
believer without the Will of Allah Subhanah.
Yes, one who is evil can ‘try’ to do magic! But it should be the solemn belief of those who sincerely believe
in Allah and the Last Day, that the results of magic are not in the hands of
the evil doers or the magicians!
If Allah does not will it, all the magicians and doers of
witchcraft of the world can get together and try their magic on someone, they
cannot harm him in the least!
All Power and All Strength is with Allah Subhanah Alone.
Your
Question: Everytime i go out with my family? The next day we have somekind of
arguments or fight? Before i never used to believe in all these things.
But now i see a pattern. Is there such thing call "Nagar" I am not
sure
whats the name in English?
The term ‘Nazar’ is translated into English as ‘evil eye’.
Sahih
Muslim Hadith 5427 Narrated by
Abdullah ibn Abbas
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘The influence
of an ‘evil eyes’ is a fact; if anything would precede the destiny it would be
the influence of an ‘evil eye’.’
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.636 Narrated by Abu Huraira
The Prophet (saws) said, "The effect of
an ‘evil eye’ is a fact."
Abdullah ibn Abbas narrates that the Prophet
(saws) used to seek protection for Al-Hasan and Al-Hussain (his grandsons) with
the words: ‘A'udhukuma bi kalamatillahi tamah min kulli shaitanin wa hamatin wa
min kulli 'ainin lamatin' (I seek protection for you with Allah's Perfect Words
from every shaytaan, and crawling creature, and every ‘evil eye’.' He (saws) also added: 'Your father (Prophet
Ibrahim (a.s.)) sought protection for Prophet Ismail (a.s.) and Prophet Ishaq
(a.s.) with these same words'."
Related by Bukhari.
Sahih Muslim Hadith 5424 Narrated by Aisha
When Allah's Messenger (saws) fell ill,
Hadrat Jibrael (a.s.) used to recite this supplication: "In the name of
Allah, He may cure you from all kinds of illness and safeguard you from the
evil of a jealous one when he feels jealous and from the evil influence of
eye.”
The Messenger of Allah (saws) indeed warned the believers
of the effects of the ‘evil eye’, and guided that the absolute best remedy to
ward off its evil is to be constant in the recitation of the 113th
and 114th Surahs (Al-Falaq and An-Naas) of the Glorious Quran.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 1019 Narrated by AbuSa'id al-Khudri
The Prophet (saws) used to seek protection
against the Jinn and the evil eye till Surahs al-Falaq and an-Nas (113th
and 114th Surahs of the Quran) were revealed. After they were
revealed he (saws) stuck to them and discarded everything beside them.
Other than the recitation of the 113th and the
114th Surahs of the Quran, the Messenger of Allah (saws) forbade any
rite or ritual to do or get done to remove or ward off the effects of the ‘evil
eye’ or ‘nazar’. He warned in one
authentic narration that if anyone does any rite or ritual in the hope of
warding off the effects of the evil eye, like wearing an amulet or a
‘taaweedh’, etc., he would have nothing to do with the Message brought by
Prophet Mohamed (saws)!
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 36 Narrated by Ruwayfi' ibn Thabit
The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: ‘You may
live for a long time after I am gone, Ruwayfi', so tell people that if anyone
ties his beard, or wears round his neck a string to ward off the evil eye, or
cleanses himself with animal dung or bone, Muhammad (saws) has nothing to do
with him.”
Thus all one needs to do when one fears the influence of
the ‘evil eye’ is seek the protection and refuge in Allah Subhanah Alone by
being constant in one’s recitation of the 113th and the 114th
Surahs of the Holy Quran. It is
expected that the Merciful Lord would protect him from all evil.
Your
Question: My parents have reached age of 65, I like to take care of them and
help them. But my wife does not quite agree with me. She does not like to live with
my parents or do anything for them. Due to financial situation we cannot
seperate my parents. When i am alone with her , she keeps me happy.I am
frustrated with this situation and would like some advice.I believe its my turn
to take care of them now since they really need me.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah
Bani Israel verses 23-24:
Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should
not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat
your parents with great kindness; if
either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words.
Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord, be
merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my
childhood.”
After the rights due to Allah Subhanah, in Islam the
biggest rights in all mankind is due to our parents. And after the rights of parents, is the rights of our near relatives, far relatives,
muslims, neighbors, etc. In Islam,
the law is that one must give all the rights due to each, without effecting the rights of others.
Regarding the rights and obligations of our parents upon
us, it is imperative and obligatory on
every believer, who fears Allah and the
Last Day, to treat and obey his
parents in absolutely everything,
except if they ask you to do something which is against the command of
Allah and His Messenger (saws). Other
than that, their word is basically a
command for us! We are not allowed in
any circumstance to groan, moan, growl,
whimper or even say ‘uff’ to them! We
have to obey them in every respect, as
long as their command is not against Allah and His Messenger (saws). We have been enjoined by Allah Subhanah to
be kind to them, be patient with them,
be merciful to them, be obedient
to them, and treat them with the utmost
respect. So much so, that this right and obligation is termed
‘fard ain’(absolutely obligatory for every individual) in Islam. And ‘fard ain’ means, that no matter how old you are …
10-20-50-90… as along as one or both of your parents are alive, you have to be obedient to them! No one can do this on your behalf… you have
the obligation to do it yourself! This
is the high station and the elevated ‘maqaam’ of parents in Islam.
A believer is commanded by Allah to balance the giving of
his due rights. For example, one cannot take away the right due to one’s
parents, and give them to one’s wives
and children. Neither can he take away
the rights of the wives and children and give them to his parents. There should be a proper balance, and a
muslim, who indeed fears Allah and the Last Day, should give each party its
rights without effecting the rights of the other.
The wife is well within her rights, if she wills, to ask
her husband to separate her from her in-laws; and if Allah has blessed the
person from His Bounty, he should fear Allah, and try his best to fulfill this
right of his wife, even if it is only a small room or apartment. But what the wife cannot demand is that her
husband leave his parents and come live with him!
If the wife keeps cordial and pleasant relationships with
the members of her in-laws, she would have fulfilled her duties in the Sight of
Allah; and if she goes out of her way to accommodate, and be kind, generous
and magnanimous to her in-laws, she
will be doing ‘ehsaan’ (a deed over and above her duty); and the husband should
appreciate and be grateful to his wife for fulfilling her duties in such a
graceful manner. But under no
circumstances, is the wife allowed to be rude, unpleasant, impolite, or
discourteous to her in-laws (or anyone else) in any way.
Your
Question: I am frustrated with this situation and would like some advice.
I believe its my turn to take care of them now since they really need me.
Beloved brother,
under the circumstances described by you whereby the wife has made it
absolutely clear to you that she does not wish to live with her in-laws and has
demanded her God-given right to live separate from them; if you can afford to
provide a separate accommodation for her, even if it is only a small room or
apartment, you should try your best and fulfill her this rightful demand.
May Allah Subhanah bless you for your noble thought and
realization that your parents are now old and they need you, and your intention
to take care of them. Allah is our
witness, being kind and taking care of parents is amongst the noblest deeds in
the Sight of Allah Subhanah.
Under the circumstances related by you, it would be best
if you could provide a separate accommodation and living for your wife, but you
stay with and serve your parents to the best of your ability; and
simultaneously, without actually moving into your wife’s accommodation, spend
enough time with your wife so that she does not feel neglected.
Your
Question: Dua for success in Life.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah
Baqarah verses 200-202:
200 …There are men who say: "O Our Lord! Give us (thy bounties) in this world!" but they will have no
portion in the hereafter.
201 And there are men who say: "O Our Lord! Give us good in this world and good in the
Hereafter and defend us from the torment on the fire!"
202 To these will be allotted what they have
earned and Allah is quick in account.
Beloved Brother in Islam, Allah and His Messenger (saws)
have guided the believers that rather than just seeking success in this world,
one should beseech their Lord to give them success in this world and the
Hereafter. Amongst the best and most
loved supplications of the Messenger of Allah (saws), was this beautiful,
short, but extremely comprehensive supplication which he (saws) would
frequently make to his Lord Most Gracious.
Aishah says that the Prophet (saws) loved the
short but comprehensive, meaningful supplications, more than others. Hadrat Anas (r.a.), who served the Prophet
(saws) for ten years, reported that the Prophet (saws) frequently prayed, "Rabbana
atena fid-dunya hasanah, wa fil Aakherate hasanah; wa kena adaab-an-Naar.”
(O our Lord,, give us all the good of this world, and the good of the life
hereafter, and save us from the punishment of the fire.)
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in
Islam,
Burhan
Wister