Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Brother,

This is reference to my earlier questions (quest. no: 12424);

Jazak Allah Kair` for the detailed answer to my query. However, I have some thing to clarify on the same issue (hope you don`t mind) and few questions to ask.

As mentioned by you (below) that it is advisable not to have oral sex and abstain from doing it, when we are engaged in sex and due to the temptation/desire or ignorance if we had oral sex (knowing that is is unclean and best to avoid it) and even though we proceed to do thinking that it is not totally haram and sometimes we can have oral sex then is there any punishment for it or should we stop it completey??

When some one dies for how many days should we Mourn for the dead? As some say 3 dyas, 10 days 40 days and we need to cook food, read Surah Al-Fatiha and distribute among the guest & poors for the dead person`s sake. Is this allowed.

When a husband stops his wife (or the vice-versa if wife stops husband) from doing anything which is prohibited in Islam what is the punishment and should the husband/wife keep on telling either one this is not right/prohibited in Islam or just tell one`s and then leave it as it is between Allah and the individual.

At time of Hajj, for those who are not performing Hajj just sacrificing goat/camel (Qurbani) do that person/individual shoud not shave or cut hairs until the sacrifies has been done??

Appreciate yr answers to above asap. Also I want to know if we have regular questions to ask then how should we approach you by posting the questions on this website or is there any other way for regular queries?? Thanks for answering.

Jazak Allah Khair

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Days Mourn

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: ……and even though we proceed to do thinking that it is not totally haram and sometimes we can have oral sex then is there any punishment for it or should we stop it completey??
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verse 157:

157 Those who follow the Messenger, the ‘Ummi’ (unlettered) Prophet (Mohammed (saws)) whom they find mentioned in their own (Scriptures); in the Law and the Gospel; for he (Prophet Mohamed (saws)) commands them what is just and forbids them what is evil: he allows them as lawful what is ‘tayyibaat’ (good and pure) and prohibits them from what is ‘Khabaayith’ (bad, evil and impure); He releases them from their heavy burdens and from the yokes that are upon them. So it is those who believe in him, honor him, help him, and follow the Light which is sent down with him: it is they who will prosper."

Because the concept of ‘oral sex’ between a husband and wife is not specifically prohibited in the Quran and Sunnah, one cannot say with conviction that the act is forbidden; but the absolute majority of scholars have opined that the act whereby one spouse touches the others private organs with their mouth is amongst the ‘khabaayith’ (evil, impure, etc.) and closer to the ‘haraam’ than the ‘halaal’; thus the believers should fear Allah and abstain from it.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.267 Narrated by An Numan bin Bashir

The Prophet (saws) said "Both the halaal (lawful) and the haraam (unlawful) things are (made) obvious, and in between them are (suspicious) doubtful matters. So whoever forsakes those doubtful things lest he may commit a sin, will definitely avoid what is clearly unlawful; and whoever indulges in these (suspicious) doubtful things bravely, is likely to commit what is clearly illegal. Sins are Allah's Hima (i.e. private pasture) and whoever pastures (his sheep) near it, is likely to get in it at any moment."

Your Question: When some one dies for how many days should we Mourn for the dead? As some say 3 dyas, 10 days 40 days and we need to cook food, read Surah Al-Fatiha and distribute among the guest & poors for the dead person`s sake. Is this allowed.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 2.371 Narrated by Zainab bint Abi Salama

I went to Um Habiba, the wife of Prophet (saws), who said, "I heard the Prophet (saws) saying, 'It is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for any dead person for more than three days, except for her husband, (for whom she should mourn) for four months and ten days'."

The Messenger of Allah (saws) guided that it was not lawful for the believers to mourn for any deceased for more than three days except for a widow, whose period of mourning is four months and ten days. It is encouraged that the believers visit the bereaved family members of the deceased during this period, provide them with food, share in their grief, guide them towards patience and constancy, and help them in whatever way possible.

Other than the above, there is absolutely no example of the Prophet (saws) ever allowing or encouraging the reading of ‘khatams’, or allowing the reciting of ‘Quls’, or specifying further days or any kinds of rituals like the 4^th, 9^th, 10^th, 30^th, 40^th days of mourning, or feeding, or doing any ritual for or in the name of the deceased!

All such rituals like the ‘Khatams’, the ‘Quls’, the ‘fatihah’ feeding, etc., or the specified further days of mourning like the 4^th, 9^th, 10^th, 30^th, or 40^th have absolutely nothing to do with the Sunnah or practice of the Messenger of Allah (saws) or his noble companions; but these are absolutely manifest innovations which some unscrupulous and ignorant people have invented and added without any authority, long after the death of the Messenger of Allah (saws)!

Sahih Muslim Hadith 1885 Narrated by Jabir ibn Abdullah

That the Prophet of Allah (saws) said in a sermon: “The best speech is that which is embodied in the Book of Allah, the Al Quran; and the best guidance is the guidance given by me, Mohamed (saws). The most evil affairs are the innovations (bida), and every innovation (bida) is an error.”

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4515 Narrated by Ali ibn AbuTalib

That the Prophet of Allah (saws) said: “If anyone introduces an innovation (bida in religion), he will be responsible for it. If anyone introduces an innovation (bida) or gives shelter to a man who introduces an innovation (bida), he is cursed by Allah, by His Angels, and by all the people!”

Your Question: When a husband stops his wife (or the vice-versa if wife stops husband) from doing anything which is prohibited in Islam what is the punishment and should the husband/wife keep on telling either one this is not right/prohibited in Islam or just tell one`s and then leave it as it is between Allah and the individual.

When two people have been united in the sacred bond of marriage, and one amongst them sees the other transgressing the bounds and laws of Allah and knows with conviction that the doer of evil will be accountable for every deed in the Just and Majestic Court of Allah Subhanah on an Inevitable Day, it is only natural and an extension of their sincere love and care that they warn their loved ones to fear Allah and His Day of Accounting.

If the one who is committing wrong does not heed the other’s warning, the other should sincerely worry about them and search for opportune moments when the doer of evil is in a listening mood and warn them again as their sincere well-wisher of the Anger and Wrath of Allah Subhanah on those who transgress His prescribed boundaries; it is expected that perchance the doer of evil might fear Allah and stop his/her evil.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other and because they support them from their means.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.592 Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar

I heard Allah's Messenger (saws) saying, "Everyone of you is a guardian and responsible for what is in his custody. The ruler is a guardian of his subjects and responsible for them; a husband is a guardian of his family and is responsible for it; a lady is a guardian of her husband's house and is responsible for it, and a servant is a guardian of his master's property and is responsible for it. A man is a guardian of his father's property and is responsible for it; so all of you are guardians and responsible for your wards and things under your care."

Allah Subhanah has laid the responsibility of the house and the family upon the shoulders of the man; thus if the husband sees or observes that his wife or children are doing an act or deeds which are absolutely against the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws), it is his duty and responsibility to bring an end to that evil, even if he has to use force to do so. If the husband sees the Laws and Boundaries of Allah openly transgressed by his wife or his children and does absolutely nothing about it, he indeed will be held responsible for what happened under his supervision and will share a part of the blame for the evil.

Sahih Muslim Hadith 79 Narrated by Abu Sa'id al-Khudri

I heard the Messenger of Allah (saws) as saying: ‘He who amongst you sees something abominable (evil) should modify it with the help of his hand; and if he has not strength enough to do it, then he should do it with his tongue; and if he has not strength enough to do it, (even) then he should (abhor it) from his heart, and that is the least of faith.’

Unlike the duties and responsibilities which Allah Subhanah has laid upon the man, the wife is not the guardian of the husband. Thus if she sees or observes that her husband is doing some manifest evil, her duty is limited to warning her husband politely but firmly to fear Allah and stop the evil.

Your Question: At time of Hajj, for those who are not performing Hajj just sacrificing goat/camel (Qurbani) do that person/individual shoud not shave or cut hairs until the sacrifies has been done??

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 196:

196 And complete the Hajj or `Umra in the service of Allah. But if ye are prevented (from completing it) send an offering for sacrifice such as ye may find and do not shave your heads until the offering reaches the place of sacrifice. And if any of you is ill or has an ailment in his scalp (necessitating shaving) (he should) in compensation either fast or feed the poor or offer sacrifice; and when ye are in peaceful conditions (again) if anyone wishes to continue the 'Umra on to the Hajj he must make an offering such as he can afford it he should fast three days during the Hajj and seven days on his return making ten days in all. This is for those whose household is not in (the precincts of) the Sacred Mosque. And fear Allah and know that Allah is strict in punishment.

When one intends to perform the sacred pilgrimage of Umrah or Hajj to the Sacred House, the pilgrim commences the pilgrimage by making an intention or entering into ‘ehraam’ and puts on a simple garment of unsewn cloth from the appointed place of ‘Meeqat’. The making of this intention or ‘ehram’ and putting on the pilgrim garb is symbolical of his renouncing the vanities of this world. Once a pilgrim is in the state of ‘ehraam’ until he has completed his pilgrimage he must not wear other clothes, nor anoint nor cut his hair, not clip his nails, nor use perfume, nor hunt land animals, nor associate with his spouse sexually, nor do any other prohibited and restricted acts during the state of ‘ehraam’.

These restrictions are only for those believers who have made intention to perform the Hajj or Umrah pilgrimage and entered the ‘ehraam’, and not for the believers at large who are not on pilgrimage.

There is absolutely no restriction on those believers who are not on the pilgrimage to observe the limits of ‘ehram’; those who are not on pilgrimage are free to cut their hair, or their nails, or apply perfume, or associate sexually with their spouse, etc. anytime they wish to do so.

Your Question: Also I want to know if we have regular questions to ask then how should we approach you by posting the questions on this website or is there any other way for regular queries??

Beloved Brother in Islam, you are welcome to ask as many questions as you wish by posting the questions on the web-site. If Allah helps and allows us, we shall strive to reply each and every one of your questions in light of the guidance of the Quran and Sunnah as soon as we possibly can, Insha Allah.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan