Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalmalaikum brother, I have been stressed with a very big problem. Me and My wife both are doing best to fulfill each other requirment,we are doing our best to our knowladgeso that we will be happy.I am trying to fulfill all her requirement.in my faimly my nicec and nephue are staying with us, i also devote some attention and love to them. but my wife doesnot wants this and has asked to stop keeping relations with them. According to her, their presence in our life only causes problems for us. They don`t get along and now she has told me that if I want to continue to alow them to staywith them. if i will do this she says better we shoul be seprated. Please advise.  

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Rights of kith kin blood relatives

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Statement: i also devote some attention and love to them. but my wife doesnot wants this and has asked to stop keeping relations with them.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 16 Surah Nahl verse 90:

90 Allah commands justice, the doing of good, and liberality to kith and kin (blood relatives), and He forbids all shameful deeds and injustice and rebellion: He instructs you that ye may receive admonition.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chatper 33 Surah Ahzaab verse 6:

6 ….. Blood-relations among each other have closer personal ties in the Decree of Allah than (the Brotherhood of) Believers and Muhajirs: nevertheless do ye what is just to your closest friends: such is the writing in the Decree (of Allah).

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 177:

177 It is not righteousness that ye turn your faces toward East or West; but it is righteousness to believe in Allah and the Last Day, and the Angels, and the Book, and the Messengers; to spend of your substance out of love for Him for your kin (blood relatives), for orphans, for the needy, for the wayfarer, for those who ask, and for the ransom of slaves; to be steadfast in prayer and practice regular charity; to fulfill the contracts which ye have made; and to be firm and patient in pain (or suffering) and adversity and throughout all periods of panic. Such are the people of Truth, the Allah-fearing.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.17 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "The word 'Ar-Rahm (womb) derives its name from Ar-Rahman (i.e., one of the Noble Attributes of Allah) and Allah, High and Exalted is He, said: 'I will keep good relation with the one who will keep good relation with you, (womb, i.e. kith and kin) and sever the relation with him who will sever the relation with you, (womb, i.e. kith and kin)!”

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.15 Narrated by Anas bin Malik

Allah 's Messenger (saws) said, "Whoever loves that he be granted more wealth and that his lease of life be prolonged then he should keep good relations with his kith and kin."

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.160 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should serve his guest generously; and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should unite the bond of kinship (i.e. keep good relation with his kith and kin); and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should talk what is good or keep quiet."

Dear and beloved brother, the importance and significance of keeping good relations with one’s kith and kin or blood-relatives cannot be overemphasized in Islam!

It is upto you to fulfill all the rights and responsibilities due from you to your wife in marriage, without effecting the rights that are due from you to your blood relatives. Neither is it allowed in Islam to take the rights to the wife and give them to one’s blood relatives, nor is it permissible to take the rights of one’s blood relatives and give them to one’s wife! There should be a proper balance, and a believer, who indeed fears Allah and the Last Day, should give each party its rights in full without effecting the rights of the other.

If you are not deficient in fulfilling the rights that are due to your wife in marriage, your wife has absolutely no right to demand that you break relations with your blood-relatives, for Allah is our witness, the Lord Most High has Decreed rights for one’s blood-relatives.

If the wife could be brought to explain that if the roles were reversed and instead of them being your blood-relatives they were her blood-relatives, would she not fear Allah and fulfill her duties towards them!

Beloved brother, the truth is that the wife has absolutely no right or authority to demand that her husband (or vice-versa) break relations with his blood-relatives or not give them their due rights; and if she has threatened separation, you should give no heed to her threat. And if only because you wish to fulfill your duty towards your blood relatives, she has threatened separation or divorce, then it is she who will bear the unbearable burden of the sin upon her on the Day of Judgment.

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2218 Narrated by Thawban

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, (even) the odour of Paradise will be forbidden to her!’

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan