Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I am in BIG trouble, and need some advice about something no one in this world must know, when I was a little girl (I had my menses though) but to young to understand what sex really was, I have always been treated like a little baby, I didn’t know any thing about the real world, I just had fun in a world for my self. One of my stepbrothers mad me have sex with him once, and because I didn’t know what he was doing I just did what he told me to, and after he did what he wanted he left, and I had blood on my pants (I first noticed it a hour or two after the incident, and people tell me that it hurts when you have sex for the first time, and it didn’t hurt?? Maybe it was something else??.).

I cried sooo much when I got to know what he done to me, and I considered him as one of my own brothers, but it was to late to tell any body, I have relatives that would do any thing in this world to get to my parents, and if I tell they would say she is lying, so I just didn’t say any thing, my parents would die at the place, they have protected me from the world outside, and when they get to know that my own brother ruined my life, they would die. Now I’m old enough to get married and start a family of my own, but I cant, if I get married my husband would tell the whole family (I’m from a very old-fashioned family) and it’s normal that the parents choose the boy, I’m okay with that, I’m just afraid of the consequences. I always try to change the subject when my parents start talking marriage, but for how long can they wait, they to have desires of their daughter getting married one day. And I would die before my parents even get a tear out of their eyes. If Allah all mighty didn’t tell us that suicide was haram, I believe that would be the only way out.

They are taking me back to my “home land” to look at boys this summer, as they think that it is arranged marriages I’m afraid of. And I said okay for it, so they can be happy for some months, I have planed that I’ll go with them and say no to every guy and just return. The other thing is that my step brother is married, and has a little boy and a little angel as a girl, his wife who really trusts him would die, and the to children would die to, so by not telling I would ruin one life(my own) and by telling I would ruin thousands. I try to have a normal life, but so many of my dreams and wishes have to get killed, all my friends are married soon, and when they tell me what their hubbies do for them, bring flowers and take them out on a date, I get so sad, I am never going to fell like that ever.

Plzzzz help me, what should I do?????

I pray to Allah, that the blood on my pants was from the menses I had some day earlier, but still I can’t take any risks.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Zina in Ignorance

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, regardless of what deeds one might have done in ignorance in one’s past; if one seeks sincere repentance from their Lord Most Merciful, it is expected that they will find Him Oft-Fogiving, Most Gracious. Your statements are evident enough that you are extremely repentant at what happened in your age of ignorance, and if you turn to your Lord seeking forgiveness, it is expected that you will find Him Forgiving and Merciful.

Hadith Qudsi 34

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said that Allah Subhanah, High and Exalted He is, says: ‘O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.’

The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:

1. One is aware that he has sinned, and feels sorry and ashamed at his sin.
2. Makes a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that he will not repeat his sin again.
3. Turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness, before he has met with his appointment of death.
4. Is a believer and does righteous good deeds thereafter.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:

Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:

When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

Dear and Beloved Sister, whatever you do, never ever despair of the vast Mercy of your Lord Most Merciful; for He has promised to completely forgive and wipe out all sins of His believing slaves provided they believe in Him, call upon Him Alone seeking forgiveness for their past deeds before their appointment of death, and amend their conduct thereafter.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”

My dear and beloved Sister in Islam, regardless of whatever happened in your age of ignorance; when Allah Subhanah has covered and hid that episode from becoming public knowledge, you should do nothing to expose that incident to anyone amongst mankind. Let the past remain in the past, remain constant in seeking forgiveness from your Lord Most Merciful, and implore Him constantly to give you the wisdom and courage and the guidance to live the rest of your life within His Prescribed boundaries of Islam.

It would be best if you did not disclose whatever happened in the past to your parents or anyone else amongst mankind; nor should you ever bring up this episode with your future husband, or even your step-brother, his wife, his children or anyone else whatsoever. If you can, bury this episode in the past and do not let it effect you or your life in any way.

With your parents consent and approval, choose a good, righteous, pious, God-fearing man to marry and strive to live your life in submission and accordance to the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws).

Beloved Sister in Islam, your fear that this episode will be disclosed if you marry is an absolutely unfound and baseless fear; for there is absolutely no way to find out what exactly transpired if you do not confess to what happened in the past yourself. The only Being you need to confess your sins is your Lord Most Merciful Alone, for He Alone is the One Who pardons the sins of His believing slaves. There is absolutely no way your future husband will ever find out what happened, unless and until you confess it yourself.

The Messenger of Allah (saws) guided the believers, that if Allah Subhanah, in His Sublime and Infinite Mercy, has covered and hid ones sins done in their past from becoming public knowledge; they should not come forward and disclose what Allah has hidden; but rather seek forgiveness from their Lord Most Merciful and take that deed and secret with them to their graves!

Under the given circumstances, it would be best if you said absolutely nothing about what happened in your age of ignorance to anyone including your parents or your future husband, and try to bury that incident in your past. Remain constant in supplicating your Lord Most Merciful to forgive you your past deeds, and strive to live your life in submission of His boundaries and His commands; it is expected that you will find your Lord Oft-Forgiving, Most Gracious.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother and sincere well wisher in Islam,

Burhan