How to give proper divorce?
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I have married to a non-muslim girl as per islam rule. I have converted her from Buddhist religion to muslim and then married her. After our marriage i realised that my wife has not accepted Islam by heart. She just agreed my conditions only to marry with me. Also I am not happy with her. Now I want to take divorce from her. She is 4 months pregnant too. Now please help me to know what is the process or rule to take divorce from here. Awaiting your prompt reply. Thanking u in anticipation.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
How to give proper divorce?
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 5.51 Narrated by Sahl bin Sad
The Messenger of Allah (saws) said to Hadrat Ali (r.a.): ‘By Allah, if one man is guided on the right path (i.e. converted to Islam) through you, it would be better for you than (a great number of) red camels (the most prized possession of the times!)."
Dear and Beloved brother in Islam, Allah Subhanah has blessed you with an opportunity whereby you were responsible for the Buddhist woman to declare Islam as her deen. Regardless of what was her intention, or what mission she had in her heart; her declaration of the ‘shahaadah’ or testimony of faith makes her a legal muslim and all the rights that are due to a muslim will be accorded to her in full. Regarding her intention or what was her mission in her heart in accepting Islam, that is something known to Allah Subhanah Alone; for He Alone is the Knower of All Things.
If your only reason for divorcing the woman you married of your own choice is that she has not accepted Islam in her heart, our humble and sincere advice to you as your brothers and well-wishers in faith is to have patience; and with love, and wisdom, and by example invite her to the Truth of Al-Islam.
Today when a pagan or disbeliever sees the majority of the muslims and their dealings, he sees absolutely no difference between them and us. Some people who call themselves muslims drink alcohol, commit zina, steal, cheat, are dishonest, and do many things amongst the haraam. When a pagan who is invited to Islam looks at the state of the Muslim Ummah, he probably thinks he is better off in his ‘deen’ rather than accepting another ‘deen’ with similar or (Allah forbid, at times) even worse! Thus instead of the believers inviting the disbelievers to Islam, become a trial for the disbelievers for not accepting Islam!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 60 Surah Mumtahina verse 5: "O Our Lord! Make us not a (test and) trial for the Unbelievers, but forgive us O our Lord! For Thou art the Exalted in Might, The Wise."
My dear and Beloved Brother in Islam, you are blessed with a wonderful opportunity where you have married a disbelieving woman, whom you say has accepted Islam only verbally. Regardless of whatever her innermost intentions might have been, you have a wonderful opportunity, because of the nature of your relationship with the woman, to make her understand the Truth. If you convince her by your example of being a muslim, by giving her the full honor and respect a wife deserves in Islam, it is absolutely inconceivable that a disbelieving person who comes so close to a believer will remain a disbeliever for long. Beloved brother in Islam, if you are seeking divorce only because you feel your wife has not accepted Islam in her heart of hearts, we humbly and sincerely request and implore you to fear Allah, and with wisdom, patience and above all by example, let the Truth of Islam enter deep into her heart. It is expected that Allah Subhanah will reward you generously for your striving in the Hereafter.
Your Question: Now please help me to know what is the process or rule to take divorce from her.
Just as Allah Subhanah has made it extremely easy for the believers to marry; so has the procedure for divorce been made very easy by the Lord Who has blessed us with a ‘deen’ which is absolutely easy to follow.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 60 Surah Talaq verses 1-2:
1 O Prophet! when ye do divorce women divorce them at their prescribed periods and count (accurately) their prescribed periods: and fear Allah your Lord: and turn them not out of their houses nor shall they (themselves) leave except in case they are guilty of some open lewdness. Those are limits set by Allah: and any who transgresses the limits of Allah does verily wrong his (own) soul: thou knowest not if perchance Allah will bring about thereafter some new situation.
2 Thus when they fulfil their term appointed either take them back on equitable terms or part with them on equitable terms; and take for witness two persons from among you endued with justice and establish the evidence (as) before Allah. Such is the admonition given to him who believes in Allah and the Last Day. And for those who fear Allah He (ever) prepares a way out
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 228: Divorced women shall wait concerning themselves for three monthly periods nor is it lawful for them to hide what Allah hath created in their wombs if they have faith in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that period if they wish for reconciliation. And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them according to what is equitable; but men have a degree (of advantage) over them and Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 231-233:
231 When ye divorce women and they fulfil the term of their (`Iddat) either take them back on equitable terms or set them free on equitable terms; but do not take them back to injure them or to take undue advantage; if anyone does that He wrongs his own soul. Do not treat Allah's Signs as a jest but solemnly rehearse Allah's favors on you and the fact that He sent down to you the Book and Wisdom for your instruction. And fear Allah and know that Allah is well acquainted with all things.
232 When ye divorce women and they fulfil the term of their (`Iddat) do not prevent them from marrying their (former) husbands if they mutually agree on equitable terms. This instruction is for all amongst you who believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is (the course making for) most virtue and purity amongst you and Allah knows and ye know not.
233 The mothers shall give suck to their offspring for two whole years if the father desires to complete the term. But he shall bear the cost of their food and clothing on equitable terms. No soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear. No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child nor father on account of his child. An heir shall be chargeable in the same way if they both decide on weaning by mutual consent and after due consultation there is no blame on them. If ye decide on a foster-mother for your offspring there is no blame on you provided ye pay (the mother) what ye offered on equitable terms. But fear Allah and know that Allah sees well what ye do.
In light of the above verses of the Holy Quran, and in accordance with the guidance of the Messenger of Allah (saws) the way to give a divorce in Islam, is that the man making sure that the wife is not in her menses periods, announces a divorce by declaring to her ‘I divorce you’ once.
Then the wife shall wait and perform the ‘iddah’ or waiting period of three monthly menses periods; and in case she is pregnant her ‘iddah’ period according to Shariah is until she delivers the baby.
If the man decides during this ‘iddah’ or waiting period to take his wife back, or he conjugates with her during this period; the ‘divorce’ will be deemed cancelled and they may live as husband and wife together. If the ‘iddah’ period of divorce elapses and the husband does not take the wife back during this period, then the divorce will be established; and the man and the woman must separate from each other.
Dear and Beloved Brother in Islam, as your brothers and sincere well-wishers in Islam, we again urge you to reconsider your decision if the only reason you are divorcing your wife is because she has not yet accepted Islam as her way of life.
It may be that by your patience and wisdom, and above all by your example, you might be able to show her the Path of Truth, and earn yourself a huge reward in the Presence of your Supreme and Majestic Lord on the Day of Judgment.
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2173 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Of all the lawful acts the most detestable to Allah is divorce.’
We sincerely hope and pray that Allah Subhanah guides you to make a decision which is best for you and your wife in this world and especially the Hereafter. Ameen.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,