Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salaam!!

I am writing in regards to get some help and advice from you in guiding my husband to the path of Islam. Over the years he has become very anti-islamic, though in front of everyone else he is a muslim, to me he tells in private that he is not a believer at heart anymore. He comes from a very religuous family but i`m not sure what has gotten into him. He is a good man over all, helps needy and is always concerned about others but his negative attitute towards deen is killing me inside. He drinks casually and dreams of becoming very rich and successful one day. He thinks there is nothing wrong with drinking beer once a week with his boss or colleagues if it might lead to his promotion. I tell him to leave that to Allah. I met him in college while studying in the US and then we got married. Things weren`t this bad in the begining but now i am afraid that he might become a total non-believer if i dont do anything. I do not want to leave him as I love him very much so I would rather try to fix him with Allah`s guidance, even if it takes forever. I feel this attitude of his is due to the company that he hangs out with, it consists of hindus, christians and very liberal muslims at work. Theres not much that i can do to make him avoid that, unless Allah does something. Are there any dua`s that I can say for him that will bring him to the path of Islam and get him rid of the bad company and influences? Also in one of your answers i came to know its wrong to blow in water and make someone drink that. The only reason i do that is because i dont see any other way of making him say those duas for himself so i do it for him and make him drink that water. It gives me a feeling that Allah`s word has gone into him. I do not do it with the intention of "magic" of some sort. Please guide me...

Thank you.

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Answer:

Husband leaving Islam

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, it is indeed difficult and at times unbearable when one who is dearly and truly loved and honored takes a path in front of our very eyes to his own destruction and harm. If one could get their loved ones to the Straight Path of Islam simply by reciting some chants, or blowing them on some water and making the person drink it, or making him wear ‘taaweedhs’ (amulets), etc.; then the Messengers of Allah would have done so on the disbelievers to make them believers!

One can only imagine the plight and condition of the Noble Messenger of Allah (saws), who was sent as a mercy and guide to all of mankind, but could not convince his own beloved uncle Abu Talib ibn Abdul Muttalib to accept Islam.

Al-Muwatta Hadith 16.41

Yahya related to me from Malik from Abd ar-Rahman ibn al-Qasim ibn Muhammad ibn Abi Bakr that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "Let the misfortune that befalls me be a comfort to the muslims in their misfortunes."

Thus my beloved sister, the need of the hour is, with extreme wisdom and patience, to strive to invite those who do not entirely submit to the Lord, to His Straight Path; for that is the only responsibility the Merciful Lord has laid upon the believers. To accept our invitation or not is something the individual has to decide for himself.

Allah says in the Holy Quran: Chapter 16, Surah An-Nahl Ayat 125: Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and excellent admonition and argue with people in the best manner. Your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His Way and who is Rightly guided.

You are indeed right that the company of people who do not fear Allah and the Last Day are amongst the prime reasons for one’s misguidance. Being his wife, it is very possible that you might not have full control with whom your husband meets and socializes; but there are many ways you can influence how he spends his time. What you can do, as a family, is regularly invite or visit good God-fearing and pious people whom he might be comfortable with, or giving him good Islamic books to read, or give him good Islamic cassettes to hear in the car, etc. But whatever you do, you must do with extreme wisdom and patience; it might take a full life-time for you to convince him to follow the Straight Path, but Allah is our witness, when one is united with someone in as sacred an institution as marriage, the effort is well and truly worth it.

Wisdom states that the last thing a wife should do is constantly nag her husband, or repeatedly tell him how evil he is, or always try to prove him wrong, etc.; as it would effect the sacred relationship between a husband and his wife; for if things get out of hand it could cost them their marriage. Instead of always trying to prove him wrong and evil, the wife should exercise wisdom and extreme patience and herself do deeds which would help in softening his heart towards the beauty of Islam. And above all, be constant in the supplication of your Merciful Lord and seek His Help and Mercy; and in absolute humility, and fear, and hope implore and beg the Merciful Lord to have Mercy on your loved one and show him the path that leads to salvation and peace not only in the life of this world, but also in the ever-lasting life of the Hereafter.

Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, whatever you do, fear Allah and never ever despair of His Sublime and Infinite Mercy. Even if your efforts to soften the heart of your husband towards Islam takes you a life time, be aware that Allah Subhanah knows the exact condition of each of His believing slaves and He will reward you for your intentions and your efforts in full, on a Day when the deeds of each and every individual will be brought forth in the Presence of the Majestic Lord.

May Allah Subhanah make your trial easy for you, help you, bestow you with wisdom and with patience, and help you fulfill the noble mission which you have chosen for yourself. Ameen.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan