Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Dear Burhan,

I am replying again to you.

Thanks for guiding me through your e-mail I received. He has not said once, He divorce me but when I talk to his second wife she told me this that she got married due to he and his family confirms that he divorced me.

What he did he ran away when my daughter was only three months old 1999, he wanted a son from me I tried to contact him for one year but when he came back to Uk in 2000 he did the Nikkah to his cousin and lied he is going for business he started lied to his family and started coming to my home he made me pregnant and ran away the 2nd time 12th Jan 2002 I was 4 months pregnant and tried every thing to contact him.

His father refused to accept me as pregnant by him and said my son never went to see me.

I did the abortion he came back to Uk in 2002 July and his second wife came here for higher education for three years, she says to me you keep him , I have got a daughter being a single parent I am facing so many problems and need the solution.

Now my family is wants me to either get divorce from him and get married again. He phoned me yesterday and I disconnected due to I talk to his mother and father and they says he has divorced me and why I am spoiling his new marriage his mother says he divorce you if you cannot look after your daughter I can take her to Pak and you should get married to some one, his sister says why I open the doors for him ,His father uses vulguer language and my whole family All he said my current situation is I am married and due to his 2 wife disagree to accept me he cannot help or call me back to his house other wise his father won't allow the inheritance he is waiting for.

If I see him then again it is a sin due to the equal rights they laugh when I talk about Islam.

He says who can tell me about the religion, I am right.

Please guide me more about Khula he does not want to leave any one. Many Thanks

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Answer:

Relation with wife

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: Please guide me more about Khula

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 229: Divorce may be pronounced twice; then either keep the wife with honor, or let her leave gracefully. And it is not lawful for you to take back anything out of what you have given them. There is however, an exception to this; if you fear that they might not be able to keep within the limits imposed by Allah, there is no harm if both agree mutually that the wife should obtain divorce by giving something as compensation to the husband (only when she initiates the divorce). These are the bounds set by Allah; therefore, do not violate them, for those who violate the bounds of Allah are indeed the ‘dhalims’ (transgressors)!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 231: And when you have divorced your wives and they are about to complete their prescribed terms, then either retain them gracefully or release them generously. It is transgression to retain them merely for harassment. And whoever does that indeed wrongs his own self! Do not play with Allah’s Commandments, and remember that Allah has blessed you with a great favor. He admonishes you to show due respect to the Book and the Wisdom He has sent you. Fear Allah and know that He is fully aware of everything.

When two people who are married together cannot live together for any reason, Islam has given a route where either of the two may initiate a divorce proceeding against the other. If the woman initiates a divorce proceedings against her husband, it will be known as a ‘khula’ in Islamic Law. This can be for a number of reasons, from not getting along with the husband, to the husband disappearing for a number of years, or even impotency, etc. Whatever the reason may be, the wife will have to go to a Qadi or Shariah Court and move the Shariah Judge to divorce the couple.

The husband has a right to demand that the ‘mehr’ he paid to his wife at the time of marriage be returned back to him, or he may opt to be generous and forgive all or part of it.

The guidance of Allah Subhanah regarding divorce are very clear; and three words or characteristics should be employed when two people who were married to each other, but for some reason the marriage does not work out, and they want to separate: 1. Honor, 2. Grace, and 3. Generosity. These are the commands and boundaries Allah has set on the believers, and whoever harasses or oppresses the partner will have a severe accounting in the Just Court of Allah Subhanah.

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), he can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), he can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan