Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalam-o-Alaikum
dear brother ,
i have read a hadith in which it is stated that it is not allowed for a wife to refuse to come to bed if husband ask him to come to bed. now my question is that
1) under wht conditions or circumstances it is allowed for a woman to refuse to come to bed.
2)is it true for a woman to come to bed but not responding well in sex with the husband and husband cannot feel satisfaction with that response. and wht will be the attitude of the husband on that.
3)and could u explain me that wht are the possible reasons that a husband or wife, both or anyone of them is not enjoying sex. and wht will be the solution for that, if u recomend me a book or authenticated website where related stuff can be found. 

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Answer:

Wife refuse husband

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: i have read a hadith in which it is stated that it is not allowed for a wife to refuse to come to bed if husband ask him to come to bed.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.460 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "If a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the Angels will curse her till morning."

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.122 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "If a woman spends the night deserting her husband's bed (does not sleep with him), then the Angels send their curses on her till she comes back (to her husband)."

Your Question: under wht conditions or circumstances it is allowed for a woman to refuse to come to bed.
The believing men and women whom Allah Subhanah has blessed to be bonded in the sacred institution of marriage, have some rights towards each other. And one of the biggest rights of marriage is that it is permissible for both to enjoy each others physical company. Unless the wife has a legal and valid Shariah reason for not allowing the husband to have intercourse with her (menses, post child-birth, while fasting in Ramadan, etc.), there are no conditions or circumstances when either the husband or the wife may refuse each other.

Your Question: is it true for a woman to come to bed but not responding well in sex with the husband and husband cannot feel satisfaction with that response. and wht will be the attitude of the husband on that.

If invited by the husband, the wife comes to bed; she would have fulfilled the legal obligations and rights towards her husband. If the husband or the wife, for any reason is not satisfied with the other’s response, obviously there would be an underlying issue or problem which might be bothering the spouse. One should, with extreme patience and wisdom, talk to the spouse and try to solve the underlying issue.

Your Question: and could u explain me that wht are the possible reasons that a husband or wife, both or anyone of them is not enjoying sex. and wht will be the solution for that, if u recomend me a book or authenticated website where related stuff can be found. 

Beloved and dear Brother in Islam, there could be one of several reasons depending upon the physical and mental state of the person for not enjoying conjugal relations with their spouse. If the issue is physical in nature, one should consult a medical doctor; and if the issue is a mental state of mind, one should, with extreme wisdom and patience, talk to the spouse, try to identify the issue and subsequently solve that underlying issue.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan