Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

DEAR BROTHER IN ISLAM
ASSALAM O ALAIKUM WA RAHMATULLAHI WA BARAKATUH ( MAY ALLAH'S PEACE, MERCY
AND BLESSING BE UPON ON YOU )
ALL PRAISE IS DUE TO ALLAH THE LORD OF THE WORLDS. WE SEEK HIS BLESSING ON THE NOBLEST OF MANKIND, HIS ROSUL.MAY THE PEACE AND BLESSINGS OF ALLAH BE UPON HIM
MAY ALLAH WILL ALWAYS GIVE YOU AND THIS FORUM HIS GUIDANCE AND SAVE US FROM HELL FIRE.

MY SITUATION IS, MY HUSBAND TOLD ME THAT HE STILL HAVE HIS PRIVATE OWN LIFE
WHICH I CAN'T INTERFERE, HE HAVE RIGHT TO BUILD RELATION WITH GIRLS ON THE
NAME OF WORK'S SOCIETY CAN PHONE HER, CAN EYE CONTACT WITH THEM AND ALSO
CAN JOKING WITH THEM. EVEN I HAVE NO RIGHT TO CHECK IF I FELT SOME THING
WRONG IS HAPPEN. HE SAID BECAUSE ISLAM ALLOWED FOR 4 WIFES. AND HE BUILD THIS
RELATIONS BECAUSE HE FELT REGREAT TO MARRIED WITH ME WHICH IS NOT BEAUTIFUL
AND COME FROM FAMILY WHICH NO HAVE ETIQUETTE. PLEASE LEAD ME ACCORDING
TO QURAN AND HADIST ACCORDING THIS MATTER.

MAY ALLAH GIVE HIS GUIDANCE TO US ALLAH HAFIEZ, I AM WAITING REPLY URGENTLY
SISTER IN ISLAM

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Husband wife rights in marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5: This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 3: If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them) then (marry) only one.

It is indeed true that Allah has given permission to marry upto a maximum of four wives at any one time, if he wishes to do so. One must realize that this is a permission, and not a command.

Secondly, one must also realize that Allah has permitted marriage, and absolutely prohibited lewdness and secret intrigues; whereby one takes the permission of polygamy to mean initiating secret intrigues and illicit relationships with non-mehram single woman!

If one genuinely wants to marry, he must approach the guardians of the girl he wishes to marry and seek their consent. If one takes this permission of marriage, and in its shadow tries to justify his secret intrigues and illicit relationships; he should fear Allah and know that Allah Subhanah is extremely severe with those who try to make a mockery of His Laws and Commands.

Beloved sister in Islam, with extreme patience and wisdom, invite your husband to fear Allah Subhanah and the Severe Accounting of the Inevitable Day of Judgment. If after your best efforts, he does not honor and respect you as a believer should honor his wife, you have two basic options:

Accept the atrocities with patience, save your marriage, and seek your reward from Allah Subhanah.

After sincerely trying to instill the fear of Allah into him with patience and with wisdom, you find that he is not willing to change his ways at all; you may seek to initiate divorce proceedings against him and there would be no sin upon you.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan