Stop friendship on Husbands insistence
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Asalam Alaikum Warahmatullah
I am a convert to Islam. I have a friend, who I have known for 10 years, who is not Muslim. She engages in numerous prohibited actions... many of which I did as well, astaghfirullah. If I met this woman now I would never be able to see past her actions, however, this is more difficult. She is very needy, emotionally, and has always been a source of support for me. She comes from a single family home, with a mother who has a history or alcohol and perscription drug abuse. She herself is now a single mother with a small alcohol abuse and significant marijuana abuse problem. I am the only "clean" influence in her life. My husband has asked me not to trade gifts, or go outside in public with her. This is not a problem. My husband has now forbade me to see her entirely. One reason is he is afraid of her behavior "rubbing off on me". I tried to explain that I "came from there" and, insha Allah, I am never going back. I had suggested to be more insistent on her quitting drugs, alcohol, dating, etc. He is adimant about this, and says the best thing to do is end the relationship... that way she will realize. I know the bottom line is I have to obey my husband, unless he is asking me to do something unislamic. What is the fatwa on severing relationships such as this?
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Stop friendship on Husband’s insistence
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
You intention in guiding your friend to the Straight Path is indeed noble and good; and Allah Subhanah will reward you generously for your intentions and good deeds.
But since your husband is against your friendship with this woman, and fears that some of her evil habits and behavior might influence you; you have three options:
Try to politely talk to your husband and explain to him your position and your good intentions to help your friend, who obviously needs serious help and support.
If your husband still refuses to allow you to keep your friendship with her, you may choose to obey your husband and stop your friendship.
Or, you may choose to disregard your husbands advice and disobey him, and keep your friendship.
Your best options are to talk with your husband and try to convince him. But if he still refuses to allow you to remain friends with the woman, and if you choose to disobey him, it might have an adverse effect on your marriage and your relationship with your husband. In such a situation, there would be absolutely no sin upon you if you severed your friendship with the woman, and it would be better and purer for you to prefer your relationship with your husband in preference to your relationship with your friend, and stop seeing your friend.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,