Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Assalamwalaikoum Warakmat Ullah Wa Barakatuhu
Brother Burhan , May Allah Bless you and I`m Glad to receive your mails , everyday
Since longtime I should mail you about this , long time , very long time ,
Well here the situation :
I came to this country as student and where I met my husband.
He is the first man that i`ve known and he is 13years older than me .I have been married at a young age and since 8yrs , without my parent permission and my husband is muslim too but not from my country As time goes by , my parents forgave me as they loved me so much. after 2yrs of my marriage he told his family he is not anymore with me , when i asked him why , he said due he has to help his family and if they found out he is still with me , they wont accept his help as he has to take care of me well actually i dont think so that the reason which made him lies I went back to my country due for sponsorship which take me almost 4yrs to get back with him and i keep contact with my husband regularly
When i went back , after a year he told me that he is going to get married to a girl from his country which his mom choose for him
I felt so depressed and try to suicide
After im back it seems he didnt get married yet and i found out he already prepared some stuff for his future marriage , and still keep contact with that girl and call him infront of me..
he kept complaining , taunt , abused and use foul language at me , he complained that i dont take care of anything , thus im a devoted wife , and i work full time job .
he doesnt give me anything either spend things for me , nowadays he started asking me money for rent and so on
One more we didnt do any Nikaah ( religious wedding , though i insist a lot about this issue and he doesnt want to have any kids with me )
I dont know what to do brother , please help me and advise me what to do????
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No marriage zina
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your Question: One more we didnt do any Nikaah ( religious wedding , though i insist a lot about this issue and he doesnt want to have any kids with me )
I dont know what to do brother , please help me and advise me what to do????
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5 (part):
5 …… (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).
Respected sister, if you are living with a non-mehram man as a ‘wife’ without having fulfilled the obligations of an Islamic ‘nikaah’…..it is only obvious that your relationship with this man is one of manifest ‘zina’, an absolute abomination and one of the gravest sins in the Sight of Shariah Law and in the Sight of the Lord Most Majestic, Most Supreme!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:
Do not even go near ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!
Your Question: …..please help me and advise me what to do????
The first and foremost thing you can and must do, if indeed you fear Allah and the Last Day, is to immediately distance yourself from this person and the evil of ‘zina’, and turn unto your Lord in ‘taubah’, seeking sincere forgiveness for your past….if you are indeed sincere in your repentance, it is expected that you will find your Lord Forgiving and Merciful.
Whatever deeds one might have done in one’s past, if one turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere Taubah and seeks forgiveness, Allah Subhanah has promised in the Holy Quran that He will forgive all the sins of such a believer, even if one has committed the gravest sin of all: ‘Shirk’! Not only that, our Lord is so Merciful and Generous, that He not only will forgive the sins of such a repentant believer, He will change their evil deeds done into good deeds!
The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:
(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:
Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:
The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth. When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, “Peace to you”; (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, “O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place”. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who does this shall be punished for his sin, and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:
When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2338 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah accepts a servant's repentance (taubah) till he gives up his spirit in death."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2339 Narrated by Abu Sa'id
Allah's Messenger (saws) said that the Shaytaan said, "By Thy Might, my Lord, I shall continue to lead Thy servants astray as long as their spirits are in their bodies!" The Lord, Who is Great and Glorious, replied, "By My Might, Glory and Exalted Station, I shall continue to pardon them as long as they ask My forgiveness!"
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,