Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I Have a strange problem for which I need a solution…. The problem is like this – I was having a relation with a girl since last eight years . I really treated her as a wife and vise-versa though we are not married . we were attached to each other so much that it can't be described but the problem is she is a hindu and me muslim….. in these eight years I passed the message of islam to her every now and then… she was so influenced that she used to keep roza in the month of holy ramzan , used to pray and many other such practices …… but suddenly out of the blue she called me and informed me she is engaged… I asked the reason and she told me that she did everything for her father , I tried every thing to convince her but all in vain…..
I am feeling so helpless… I don't know how to make myself understand… I have lost my mental peace and I am feeling that god has not considered me good enough to help some one accept islam as she will go back to idle worship again……
What to do….
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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verse 33:
33 Say (O Prophet (saws)): ‘The things that my Lord hath indeed (absolutely) forbidden (declared ‘haraam’) are: shameful deeds whether open or secret; sins and trespasses against truth or reason; assigning of partners to Allah for which he hath given no authority; and saying things about Allah of which ye have no knowledge.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:
Do not even go near ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!
There are only a handful of sins in Islam which ignite the Anger and the Wrath of the Lord more than the heinous abomination of the crime of illegal sexual intercourse or ‘zina’!!! Such is the abhorrence of this abomination of ‘zina’ in the Sight of the Lord Most High that He has Commanded the believers who sincerely fear Him and the Last Day to ‘not even go near’ it!!!!
Your Statement: ……and I am feeling that god has not considered me good enough to help some one accept islam as she will go back to idle worship again……
As much as inviting someone to the Truth of Al-Islam is a meritorious deed in the Sight of the Lord….we absolutely assure you that if one were to take the path of the abominations of ‘fahisha’ (indecency, shamelessness, etc.) and ‘zina’ (illegal sexual intercourse) in their efforts to invite another to the Straight Path….it would be akin to making an absolute mockery of the Laws and the Boundaries of the Lord Most Majestic, Most Supreme!
It honestly beats our understanding to even imagine how daring and bold one has to be to develop an illicit, lewd, and unlawful relationship with a non-mehram woman, openly and continuously transgress the Prescribed Boundaries of the Lord by treating this woman as one’s wife for eight long years…..and then have the audacity to even imagine that ‘God has not considered me good enough to help some one accept islam.’!!!!!
The Messenger of Allah (saws) mentioned a man who raises his hands to the heavens and cries: 'O my Lord! O my Lord!......' His food was unlawful, his drink was unlawful, his clothing was unlawful, and what he had provided to sustain himself with was unlawful. How could his invocation be accepted?"
Related by Muslim.
Your Question: What to do….
Whatever deeds one might have done, if one turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere Taubah and seeks forgiveness, Allah Subhanah has promised in the Holy Quran that He will forgive all the sins of such a believer, even if one has committed the gravest sin of all: ‘Shirk’! Not only that, our Lord is so Merciful and Generous, that He not only will forgive the sins of that repentant believer, He will change their evil deeds done into good deeds!
The conditions or ways to seek sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord are:
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:
(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:
Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:
The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth. When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, “Peace to you”; (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, “O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place”. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who does this shall be punished for his sin, and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:
When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2357 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "He who repents of a sin is like him who has committed no sin."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2338 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Allah accepts a servant's repentance (taubah) till he gives up his spirit in death."
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2339 Narrated by Abu Sa'id
Allah's Messenger (saws) said that the Shaytaan said, "By Thy Might, my Lord, I shall continue to lead Thy servants astray as long as their spirits are in their bodies!" The Lord, Who is Great and Glorious, replied, "By My Might, Glory and Exalted Station, I shall continue to pardon them as long as they ask for My forgiveness!"
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,