Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salam,

I am getting mentally ill. I once touched the Holy Quran and vowed to Allah that I would never return to my bad habits. But then I broke that vow and returned to my bad habits. I again vowed to Allah by touching the Holy Quran that I would never return to my bad habits, but then I broke my vow again and returned to my bad habits. I broke my vows twice after touching the Quran. I still could not get rid of my bad habits. Now I am getting mentally ill. I asked for Allah`s forgiveness, but I feel like He is really unhappy with me. THis is driving me even more crazy and at the same time I am having all sorts of halluicnationa and I am getting mentally ill. I always had bad habits like hallucinatios and delusions. Please let me know what should I do in this situation. I really don`t want to die like this. 

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Answer:

Forgive again and again

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Hadith Qudsi 33

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: ‘A servant [of Allah's] committed a sin and said: “O Allah, forgive me my sin.’ And He (Glorified and Exalted be He) said: “My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them.” Then he sinned again and said: “O Lord, forgive me my sin.” And He (Glorified and Exalted be He) said: “My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them.” Then he sinned again and said: “O Lord, forgive me my sin.” And He (Glorified and Exalted be He) said: “My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for sins. Do what you wish, for I have forgiven you.”

Without an iota of a doubt, if one who has sinned is indeed ashamed at his transgression, admits his sins to his Lord, and turns back to Him in sincere repentance seeking forgiveness from the Lord Most Gracious, it is expected he will find his Lord Merciful and Forgiving.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: “O My servants who have wronged their own souls….Do not despair of Allah’s Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.”

Beloved sister in Islam, such is the Mercy and Grace of the Lord Most Gracious on His believing slaves, that if one were to sin, turn back to Him seeking sincere repentance, and strive to do good righteous deeds thereafter….. the Magnanimity of our Lord Most Majestic is such that not only does the Lord Most Gracious forgive the sins of such a believer, but He has promised to change those evil deeds into good deeds in the believers Book of Records with Him!!!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqaan verses 63-71:

The (true) servants of the Merciful are those who walk humbly on the earth. When the ignorant people behave insolently towards them, they say, “Peace to you”; (And those) who pass their nights in prostrating themselves and standing before their Lord and pray, “O our Lord, save us from the torment of Hell, for its torment is killing! It is an evil abode, and an evil resting place”. (And those) who, when they spend are neither extravagant, nor miserly, but keep the golden mean between the two extremes. (And those) who do not invoke any god but Allah Alone, nor kill a soul unjustly, which Allah has forbidden, nor commit adultery… He who does this shall be punished for his sin, and his torment shall be doubled on the Day of Resurrection, and he shall abide in a state of ignominy; EXCEPT THE ONE WHO MAY HAVE REPENTED (AFTER THOSE SINS), AND HAVE BELIEVED AND DONE RIGHTEOUS DEEDS. For then, Allah will change his evil deeds into good deeds, and He is very Forgiving and Merciful. In fact, one who repents and does righteous deeds, returns to Allah as one rightly should!

Regardless of how many times one has turned to their Lord in repentance, and subsequently broken their repentance….if the person turns back to the Lord seeking forgiveness, it is expected that he will find His Lord Merciful and Forgiving. Allah us to relate an example: Say a person happens to be in the company of evil, and swayed by his emotions he drinks some wine. Soon thereafter he realizes the gravity of his sin, feels absolutely ashamed at his transgression of the Law and Command of His Lord, immediately turns back to his Lord seeking sincere repentance, and makes a solemn covenant with Him that he will never ever approach wine again….it is expected that Allah Subhanah will accept his repentance and forgive him his sin.

At a later date, he finds himself in evil company again, and again he is swayed by his emotions and happens to drink wine….soon thereafter he remembers the covenant he made with his Lord, realizes the gravity of his sin, feels absolutely ashamed at his transgression again, and turns back to his Lord seeking sincere repentance…..it is expected that He will find his Lord Merciful and Forgiving again and again.

Regardless of how many times this slave of Allah is swayed by conditions and emotions and as a result falls into sin, provided he is sincere in his repentance each, it is expected he will find his Lord Oft-Forgiving and Merciful.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:

Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

But those sinners will not be forgiveness who pre-plan to commit sin with the intention that after they have sinned they will seek forgiveness; then pre-plan the sin again with the intent that they will repent later, or persist in their sin with the intent that they will seek repentance just before their death…..such sinners try to make a mockery of the Mercy and Grace of the Lord Most High with their pre-planned sinning and meaningless repentance.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 17-18:

17 Allah accepts the repentance of those who do evil in ignorance and repent soon afterwards; to them will Allah turn in mercy; for Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom.

18 Of no effect is the repentance of those who continue to do evil until death faces one of them and he says "Now have I repented indeed"; nor of those who die rejecting faith: for them have We prepared a punishment most grievous.

Thus my beloved sister, regardless of how many times you might turned back to your bad habit after making a promise with your Lord never to return to it….never never ever despair of the Mercy of your Lord ever and immediately turn back to your Lord again and seek sincere repentance; it is expected that you will find Him Merciful and Forgiving. Allah Subhanah is indeed the Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan